You may turn green now. TYandGN!

Went to the court house in the county the children resided and took out a temporary protective order, granting us emergency custody and a hearing date.  We then hired an attorney to represent us in court.  long story short, we received full permenant custody  of the children.  at no time did cps follow up with us, nor did they follow up on the tips received from the children's school and other mandatory reporters who we know witnessed or saw evidence of abuse.

Counseling comes later, your first step is to get the legal documents to keep the child away from the abuser and that is your temporary protective order.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, I hope to share my story so that it may help others

Mr. Bang and I had our Christmas on Friday night because it was the only time we were going to be alone. It was really sweet and quiet and lovely. The rest of the weekend was spent back and forth between families (his parents and mine live about 2 miles apart), and it all went very well. His parents even got me a stocking with my name on it, so sweet! I was definitely not ready for work to start again today.   

 So you'd think that they would then be sent to the owner of the wishlist, right? No. They're on my account. I don't own a Nook. I have to call B&N now.

Website design fail. 

That is all.

S2BXH refuses to tell anyone about the divorce but whatever floats his boat.  I wrote up a piece of paper that had some but not all my personal items/ items that are mine during the divorce ( gifts+) and had DH sign it so I could start selling things I wont be able to store at my new place.  S2BXH wouldn't sign it for a while but after he b*tched for a little he finally did.

I have been packing stuff up so once I talk to the lawyer I can start moving out and I have been looking through all my "old stuff "  and its pretty sad I look at the pictures and I wonder where that girl is and why I let myself get this bad ( or in this bad of a situation.

 So I am hoping I will have enough money to get a cheap car and be set .

We did end up leaving the dogs with my IL's for the day, which was a great idea. I started to get nervous as we got closer to the house but DH reassured me it was fine. Our parents are very similar, and while I wouldn't put them in the hoarding category, they tend to collect in the same ways, so he understands the frustrations.

Thanks for all the thoughts and kind words, TIP.

I got a Kindle Fire from DH and all I want to do today at work is shop for cases!

On a random note.  DH was surprisingly happy to be woken up by me jumping on him and yelling.  "You gotta go jerk it!  You have to go NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW"

Until we found out that another person with the same name as mine (different middle name, but first and last are exact) was hired in another part of the company on the opposite coast 2 weeks after me.

We got all the IT stuff worked out and have reminded people there are 2 of us so try to get the email right etc etc, but it still happens. She just got an email meant for me about fire alarm testing here today and forwarded it to me... 5 minutes too late. And apparently her parents sent me an email full of family pictures, but it must have gone straight to my junkmail and been deleted because I never saw it.

At first I was annoyed about the whole thing but now we laugh about it. Our name isn't really all that common either, I think there are 20 people in the whole US with the same First/Last combo, so for 2 of us to work for the same company is pretty crazy.

Theeeeeeee end.

4 tubes of blood later and 5 bandages i walk out sick to my stomach!

WHY dont they ever listen and get pissy with it?

Rant over.

oh bumpies, how they entertain me...

feel confused lots of time invested kids involved.  dont want to be the bad guy

any advice

What's for dinner tonight at your house?

On Christmas Eve we went to his parents house. I felt like he was more into socializing with other people than us. We have four children, the youngest who just turned one. He was socializing and carrying on as though he was a single guy. He did not once come to me and take the youngest to free me up to eat. I mingled with the baby on my hip all night (he does not yet walk). The oldest two are 7 and 9 so they pretty much fended for themselves. We also have a 4 year old who is very finicky and my husband did not once think about or even ask if she was hungry.

Family members and other couples with children all gathered in the living room to open gifts. My husband was so busy socializing he never noticed that this was going on. I was really upset after we had left and said I could not believe that he would tune us out completely. He said he was tired and that he was sorry. He also said someone should have come get him.

The total shocker came today. It is a shock because it is something I could not imagine putting a child through. Our oldest son got money as well as gift cards for Christmas. We decided to brave it out and go to the mall so he could get something he wanted. He put his gift cards and $30 cash on the kitchen table. One of his gift cards was $30 and another was $50 to the same store. The cards did not have the amount inscripted in the back but he wanted to distinguish which had what amount. My husband abruptly took them from his hand and with a pen made note of the amounts on the back.

After a few minutes, my son is really upset and said he was missing the $20 bill. Prior to this, my husband had gone to the bathroom upstairs. My son told my husband that he may have taken it by mistake when the big fuss with the gift cards happened a few minutes prior. My husband made a simple situation an exasperating one for our son and denied ever touching it. I flipped over the sofa cushions just in case and my son did the same thing but kept assuring my husband that he had left it on the table. My husband all of the sudden decides that he has to go to the bathroom downstairs, comes out. Looks through the sofa cushions again, and all of the sudden, he finds the $20 bill. No apology. 

I have a gut feeling he took it by mistake but was too prideful and arrogant to apologize. He went in the bathroom a second time and probably counted the money he had on him and realized he had $20 too much and came out and ironically finds the $20 in the same sofa my son had just looked through. I guess it was just easier to tear your own son down to the point of tears to apologize. I am so pissed.  

It seems that it's a regional thing. Around here, it seems like 99% of people take shoes off/have guests remove them. I always take mine off, regardless of whether not they ask. It might be habit, it might be ingrained "politeness." Honestly, it sort of weirds me out when I go to a house that doesn't follow this rule.

So what say you, TIP? Shoes on or off? 

currently I'm a substitute teacher.

I actually went and visited my old boss at the bakery in the grocery store/ and she said she'd call the manager of the bakery in my new town. (It's a chain store) So I may start making more than 160 a month again. I didn't really want to go back to working in a bakery, but I'm just going to focus in on what the money will give us, and keep applying until I find something that I enjoy and will provide for us.

DH is a sheriff's deputy, and works at the parish/county prison.

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61583855.aspx

I take odd jobs left and right (even on x-mas and new years this year) in addition to the two other jobs I work and going to school. And he can't even get a full-time job to support us. He only works 26-25 hrs./ week. and doesn't go to school. 

 I'm so frustrated with him! I have lost all respect for him. He is such a child. I really don't know how much more of his bullshit I can take. We started seriously talking about having a baby lately. That is so not even a conservation now.

Anyway that is all. Just had to rant somewhere.

Do I need a lawyer? Should we both file or just one files and the other respond? It seems like DH is pushing me to be the one to file first. Why?

 We have no children, no assets or joint accounts together.

Just wanted to say to OP that you really should ask yourself... what is missing in your relationship and what can YOU do to change yourself to help your husband be faithful.  It takes TWO to make a relationship work!!!  Try reading the five languages of love.   Good luck, you made VOWS through better or worse!  Good luck girl!!

 Original post:  My husband and I were married Sept 09, and in March this year, I found out he was sexting with a girl he works with, and sneaking around to hang out with her alone while I was at work. (He and I work opposite schedules).  After I found out about it and confronted him, he made it seem like it was MY fault he was saying these explicit things to her (things he had never even come close to saying to me), and within a week he was doing it again.  I kicked him out after the 2nd time, and after he was gone for weeks, he begged me to come home, promising not to do it anymore.  Now, I know the sexting has stopped, but he still works with this girl... as far as I know it never went beyong the words, but that is as far as I know.  How do you not only forgive, but move on and start to trust again?  I've tried to get him to go to counseling and he just wont.  Do I just throw in the towel and say enough is enough? 

 -crushed-

Lets see I will  start with last night . I get a call from him on his way home.  Well He just got paid so he needs to go grocery shopping . Well he said " I  am not going to the stores tonight . "   I was"Okay well we still need to go shopping . He said "we can go Friday". " You do realize that's the day before Christmas eve right?  " Yeah" .

Then I get a call 5 minutes later " Do we need anything from Wal-Mart? " " I thought you didn't want to go shopping tonight." "well I needed one thing. Do we need milk?" 

Ummmm WTH?

Then later on that night H received a phone call  . It was from my MIL. I heard H say something like "we will bring the cranberry sauce ." I asked him what was up and he said " Oh we are bring the CS to dinner ."  Me" Um you do realize we already had plans for dinner right? What time are they having dinner?"  H " IDK, Well go over there probably around 1pm. Then stay for dinner . " 

( Little back story , The plans for the day before this situation were church until 10:30-11am, Then  2 pm Early  Dinner with a big group of church friends. Then we still need to schedule my family , his family, our opening of presents, SS nap which is usually 3-4:30pm H is a procrastinator . ) 

 Me " Well don't forget X's dinner at 2pm. H" Oh well I guess were not going to X's dinner party." Me" Then why did you tell them you were going to be there." H " well I didn't " Me " Yes you did . I was there." 

I walked away at this point .  Then later on . I said something along the lines of"  "  You need to call X then and tell them well be over but not on time."   Then he said something along the lines of "well I never told X I was going."  Me " yes you did . When they told you you didn't say " oh no I can't go were going to my parents .( they have been talk about this dinner party for months) .  H " well I guess we're not going to X's party. " ( Um if his parents eat at 5 pm , we could make both places but H wants to be at ILs at 1pm. )

Then I basically told him he was a self center douchebag .    H " If you don't like it then leave" ME " Thats exactly why I am getting a Divorce."  H " Im waiting on you "  Me " WTF does that mean ?  " H " Never mind" . 

So I am out watching TV on the couch ( where I also now sleep) .  H  keep coming out into the  kitchen and all sorts of stuff. Well I finally turn off the tv and lay down and I hear H open the door and I can see him stand by the door. I am like" What? " and he just goes back in the room and closes the door.

Sorry that was long. I was like wth?   Waiting on me to what ? Leave? File for divorce? Leave your sorry As*? So you can tell everyone that it was my fault? HUH? WTH?

I'd definitely mention something, because H has been a thin guy the whole time I've known him, so of course I'd be concerned about his health if he suddenly gained a significant amount of weight. Plus, I don't think I'm super shallow or anything, but if he went from 6'0, 150 pounds to 6'0, 250 pounds I'm not sure I would be physically attracted to him.

But I do want to brag a little bit, so listen to me and make me feel important.

I've worked one day. Six hours. Training. Christmas Eve. They are going to have me opening and closing by myself by the middle of January and I will be working full-time by the end of February. They already have me supervising and instructing people who have been there two years and have me taking inventory of the store.

I feel pretty important given that I was hired as a measly "sales associate" for 15-20 hours a week. *preens*