Trouble in Paradise — thenest

Not really a TIP but need advice

KateG528 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:54:17 +0000

My husband had surgery at the beginning of Sept. He has to have a second surgery at the end of this month. He has been out on short term disability since the first surgery. I love him so much and love spending time with him, but he has been at home all the time while on disability. He can go anywhere, pretty much, and do whatever he wants during the day when I am at work but when I get off he wants me to come home and sit with him. I really need some "me" time and I am finding myself looking forward to him going back to work so I can have some time for myself. I feel bad about feeling this way because when he was working all the time I felt lonely, and wished he was home. My problem is that while he can pretty much go out and around our town, he cant travel long distances or stay out too long because of his recovery. So we cant go to the mall (over an hour away), he doesn't feel like going out to eat, we can't go to movies (also over an hour away). I just want him to be better so our lives can get back to normal and today all of a sudden I find myself dreading going home because I know I wont get any alone time at all.

How can I stop feeling like this? I dont want to resent his surgery because it has helped his health SO much.

Alexis

Muddled — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 10:53:14 +0000

Is this new news or did I miss an announcement?

Congratulations!!!!

At a loss

AlonelyJ — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:45:38 +0000

I don't expect answers or responses from anyone. Hell, I'll probably be flamed because no one here knows me. But, not being known by anyone - yeah that's the point. I need to get this out there and an anonymous message board seems like the only place. I'm living in a sexless marriage. Which is funny since we have an 8 month old baby. I mean. sex created him, right? Well, even getting there wasn't easy. I WORKED for this baby. Even then my husband wasn't into sex. I'd work to get it once a month. So, I charted and temped. And when the day came, I jumped his bones. 9 months later my sweet baby was born. Since his birth we have only had sex once. And it wasn't even to completion. Yes, we work opposite schedules. And MH watches our baby while I work during the day. So, he is tired and on limited sleep. I get it. And I appreciate it. Hell, I want him MORE because he is an amazing provider and father. But, like I said, sex wasn't a priority for him before. But, at least he responded to my efforts. And now? I feel so unwanted. I climb into bed with him and try to initiate. He "is too tired" and turns away. One time we were hot and heavy on the couch. I was ready. He wanted to watch Sports Center. Time after time after time. I am rejected. He says it isn't me. It's him. He just doesn't have the desire. He even went to the doctor to check for issues. Yeah, there were none. He says "please keep trying." So I do. But, again and again I am rejected. I just don't where to turn. I'm just so unhappy. And I'm starting to resent him. Why do I even bother? My sex life is non-existent and my husband isn't willing to change it. But, I love him and desire him so much. We want to conceive another baby. Doesn't he realize that conception requires sex? I just don't know what to do. I'm too young to live without a physical relationship (I mean, we kiss, hug and cuddle, but that only gets you so far); and I love him. I don't want sex with anyone else but him. Thanks for reading, or at least tolerating my words. Like I said, I just needed to get this out there.

This is kinda odd.

Motzie — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:40:43 +0000

H is at home now and we have a company there taking down a tree and a limb off another. One of the guys just told my H he recognized him from the pumpkin place on Saturday. I'm pretty sure this means we made asses of ourselves taking a zillion photos of the pink chickens, cooing at the baby llamas and juggling 10 different gourds because they were all so cool we didn't want to put any back.

Oh, hey BeeBee

huber22 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:33:26 +0000

DS and I made those cupcakes yesterday.

Super cute. He decided his favorite part was the frosting.

Thanks for the inspiration!

Getting on my Last Nerve

KimKsDivorcePapers — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:50:35 +0000

The Mister is Getting on my Last Nerve. What I want to say to him is: Can you please STFU?

Halloween Candy Polle

Motzie — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 08:09:35 +0000

If you could only ever eat one kind of candy bar for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Name a candy people think is gross, but you love...

Name a gross candy that is really gross...

Thanksgiving WWYD?

fussbucket — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 10:07:17 +0000

The Halloween candy plaque is still fresh on my teeth, but I'm already thinking about Thanksgiving and am interested to hear some other folks' opinions on a dilemma I have.

We are expecting to spend Thanksgiving at home this year, which would normally entail cooking a simple but delightful meal and generally enjoying ourselves. In years past, we would have normally also invited my brother over, who lives nearby and wouldn't usually otherwise have anything else to do. After he got married, we would invite him and SIL. After my niece came along, we would naturally invite the three of them to family holiday events at our house if other extended family members around weren't hosting anything.

[personal details redacted]

Can I get away with not inviting them to our house for Thanksgiving? Is it awful of me to not want to be around that level of dysfunction on a precious holiday off with my own family? Or should I suck it up in the name of family unity and getting the little cousins together?

Give me your best winter squash recipes

Muddled — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:22:58 +0000

I feel like I make the same things over and over. Give me some new ideas!

Last night we had acorn squash stuffed with quinoa and it turned out well. I roasted the squash and added spinach, mushrooms, and cheese to the quinoa. Good stuff.

ESD

Muddled — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:32:43 +0000

Did you guys go trick-or-treating last night? I saved some candy for you just in case.

Flammable

Motzie — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:27:24 +0000

I am giving away leftover candy from last year to the Trick or Treaters tonight. I bought like 12 bags last year and only used 3 or 4.

I am also unmasking

BowiesInSpace — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:52:08 +0000

I started out the day as AnthonyWeinersTwitter. A big sideeye to the pearl clutcher who banned my AE.

After that I took the lazy way out and was TIP Reg.

Freebies I found

julie324 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 06:08:59 +0000

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Where you are MoJo-ite?. Puttin' up some good deals. Can we get some 'like love?

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I have escaped with half my brain and my arms tied behind my bac

Damik — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 14:10:20 +0000

After 19 days inpatient I'm feeling much better. The doc tried to changes some of my meds and bad things happened.

The hospital decided to do ECT. I've had four treatments and I'm going to have at least eight more.

I have really noticed the difference and it has been good for me, even though my step-mom and dad aren't speaking to me now.

Thanks for all you T&Ps.

IT'S BEEN ANNOUNCED VIA TWITTER

PEACHYS REVENGE — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:39:53 +0000

JESSICA IS PREGNANT...DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.

Some people just can't take a hint...

TheGrimGyno — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 20:33:03 +0000

My MIL is a horrible person. I don't say that lightly. When we went to marriage counseling, our therapist told my husband: "If Grim ever agrees to see your mom again, the guidelines should be Grim is NEVER to be left in a room alone with your mom. If Grim is in the kitchen and your mom goes into the kitchen, you go in there and stand with Grim. If your mom starts in on Grim, you leave, no goodbye, no other words are spoken to anyone, you just leave. If you have children with Grim, you are to NEVER let your mom be around them at all without complete supervision."

The therapist said that she was not going to diagnose MIL without ever meeting her but she said that MIL has serious issues.

Three years ago I finally had it (pre marriage counseling) and decided I was cutting MIL out of my life. DH was okay with that. MIL made a big show at a family function of telling DH how much she loved me and wanted to work things out with me. DH came home told me about the whole thing. I told him no, I was not willing to put myself out there again. DH agreed that if it were him he would feel the same way. He relayed to his mom that I was not interested in speaking with her. So, she went ahead and called me anyway, on my cell phone during work hours. She was rude and hateful so I just hung up on her. DH told her that we had made it clear she wasn't to contact me.

My husband sees her at family functions that his sisters invite her to. He doesn't talk to her much anymore. I never asked him not to, he has to make his own decisions as long as he respects mine.

Anyway, all that for this...Tonight we got home and lo and behold, MIL sent me a friend request on Facebook. Really? I saw it and asked DH "Is she fvcking stupid?"

Ask me anything

TIP Reg — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:01:52 +0000

I might answer, I might not.

You know what grinds my gears?

peterloveslois — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:34:26 +0000

It really grinds my gears when you make a joke and people are too stupid to get it. What is that all about? I mean, just keep your mouth shut if you don't know what's going on around you.

It really grinds my gears when people honk even though the light is red. Where do you expect all those cars in front of you to go? SHould they smash the people crossing the street so that you can speed up to the next red light and wait there instead of here?

And Lindsey Lohan. What's up with that?!?

What grinds your gears?

I'm unmasking.

broccolitree — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:18:02 +0000

I have people coming in an hour and I still have shitloads to do, so I shouldn't be on now anyway, lol.

I was Snape. It was fun, yay!

lolol

gaultry — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:02:07 +0000

This will be fun to read tonight. Go get 'em, Tom!

Who speaks French?

peterloveslois — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:46:30 +0000

Did you know that the French word for yes is wee-wee? Excuse me while I go take a yes. I have to yes like a racehorse. Brian, quit playing with your yes!

Yikes a roo! I just remembered

Motzie — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:25:40 +0000

I lost my virginity on Halloween. Oh to be young and stupid.

In honor of hollow weenies

bloodyvalentine — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:15:16 +0000

I am watching Paranormal Activity 2. It just became available on Netflix instant stream. So far, it isn't scaring me nearly as much as the first one (I almost always sleep with my feet out of the covers. The night after I watched that, I kept them under and wrapped the blanket around them), but I think I like it better.

My party turned out great. Not nearly enough awesome costumes, but we all had a lot of fun.

I bought a new game yesterday that I am obsessed with. And I feel a little silly because it is totally a marketing ploy for children, and I have totally fallen into its trap.

Hypothetical.

SeverusSnape — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:16:49 +0000

Let's say you're in love with a woman. You started out as friends from a very young age, then grew up together, went to school together. You love her deeply as only a friend can.

You did something pretty bad but not... unforgivable... and as a result she turned toward a man who is... not good for her, or anyone else.

You have held your love for her, even though she's married him and had a... child.

What should you do?

Kim Kardashian getting divorced

donnycornelius — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:33:49 +0000

Well thank goodness this didn't occur BEFORE the dream wedding aired on E! That would have been just tragic. I just don't understand what went wrong here?!

Oh well. You can't fault the girl. Had to have her diva 10 million dollar wedding while she's still relevant. Ha ha ha....I made a funny. I said Kim K was relevant. He he he.

TIP ladies, this one's for you!

LizawithaZ — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:03:14 +0000

GIFSoup

Why is it so SLOW around here?

TIP Reg — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:49:00 +0000

I'm going to whine about it, but not take any action to change it.

I've been hacked

AnthonyWeinersTwitter — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:18:35 +0000

Those pictures are not of me. My account has obviously been compromised.

Halloween might be cancelled. :(

ESDReturns — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:06:13 +0000

The town next to us is considering canceling Halloween and I think ours is too. There are so many people without power (many towns still are at 100% no power) and the amount of trees down is ridic. It's worse than the hurricane.

Get up you lazy TIPers, it's Halloween!

Dwight K Schrute — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:41:53 +0000

I have been up since dawn. My body is supremely conditioned to require only three hours of sleep each night. A glass of beet juice in the morning and I'm good to go.