Since then, its been a steady stream of them getting back together and him acting like they'll work things out and then freaking about about something and leaving her. The older daugher is 6 now so it's been going on a long time. The trend seems to be whenever she finds someone else to start dating, he asks for another chance and she gives it to him so they can try to be a family.

She finally moved away from the area to start school so I thought he'd be gone for good but she just told me they're "talking" again. I don't even know what to tell her anymore. I know she wants to work it out for the good of the kids but this guy is just a dead beat. He's gotten evicted from a few apartments for not paying rent and has a different job every other month it seems like. I just don't even know what to tell her anymore. Would you try to be supportive of the relationship? I don't even know what to tell her anymore.

wtf?

And she won't talk to me about why... she needs a thorough explanation from my boss as to WHY we need to take the precious resource known as a scanner and use it for my boss's program.

This department is so weird.

I need to send it in a PM though.

Also this joyful tidbit that she is getting a divorce from FIL. She throws a shyt-fit in the elevator. H didn't tell me until this evening, but I feel so bad for him that he had to go through that alone. I am so pissed. 

I'm just venting I guess because I've already stood my ground with MIL told her that I appreciate her "contributions" to how she thinks we should lead our lives in order not to be massive failures (according to her). If her lawyer son (BIL), & chemical engineer son (H) are "failures" then the rest of humanity is screwed. They are great men with loving wives, good jobs & are generally happy with their station in life etc. I've told her this and hung up on her manipulative arse so many times. I don't even take her phone calls anymore. Instead she call and rail DH. Why he takes the call I don't know, but he set her straight over and over again. 

This woman is irrational and maddening. Fvck!

So I said that I wanted my child to learn multiple languages? Suddenly that is ALL I want the kid to know, and what kind of life do I want for Abby with that? Anything I say that I would like to do for my child (learn language, sign language, travel, you name it.) suddenly turns into this dissertation on how I am going to create a life full of fail for Abby. Shyt, apparently Abby's parentage is enough to ensure that her life is going to amount to nothing. I hate it and told her that I am not putting up with her irrational, hateful shyt. 

She was supposed to come here this weekend to "help". Well it turns out that the 24 hours she was here she just berated me about how much I suck and I should do this, do that, and OMG don't know you know X about babies. No, you fuckwit I am a FTM and don't know shyt. I know I'm not as good as you think you are but FFS leave me alone. I lost my shyt on her and said please stop just please leave me alone and go back home. My husband just told them that we appreciated their help but we would most likely see them around Thanksgiving (maybe). 

H hates it that their first visit ended this way, and that his mom made this time stressful for us. He really thought that they were going to help and wanted to have someone over to cook/clean etc. Since they offered he had no idea that this would come to pass. I feel bad for him because they keep promising to be different and that they really want him to be happy. Their way is the only way and anyone else that does something different is destined for a horrible life. 

We stopped taking their calls and stuff for a reason. Now I'm reminded why we did it. We just felt that they should not be deprived of seeing their Grandchild. I think if they keep this shyt up though that its not a healthy environment for Abby. If they treat her like they do us then I wouldn't want her exposed to that. I will cross that bridge when I come to it, but it doesn't help that her BS is during the emotions/hormones post partum. I'm feeling extra sensitive to criticism about my mothering (which I think is normal for first time moms right?) & MIL probably saw it as a weakness to pick at during this time. I don't like to be hateful, but she has always told H that I wasn't good enough stock to be is wife. So I know its all shyt. I know I'm going to be a good mom and she is full of crap. It still hurts my feelings and makes me cry to hear her say those things not even 3 effing days after I give birth.

I don't understand why she can't just STFU and realize that our lives are NOT bad. Our lives are good, and blessed. Ok, I guess I'll stop now because I'm preaching to the choir. My MIL is insane and I hate it. /rant 

 Last week he ends up going out for guys night and goes to a strip club (the night before we are going away for romantic weekend). I made a joke asking if he had gone that night and he, to my surprise, said YES. I was furious, hurt, upset..I decided not to ruin the weekend and still went away together .. we ended up coming to the compromise that he would only go to strip clubs for a bachelor party or some special occassion. Does this seem fair for us both? I still feel like it might be an issue in the future if the guys want to all go just for the hell of it. Suggestions?

My comforter... I've had it for about 4 years now.  It's white with blue, light blue, spring green and brown circles on it.  Kind of what a high schooler or college freshman may pick out.  

I've wanted something new for awhile now, but have a hard time picking.  Can you guys help?

I'll probably look at BB&B and Target when I buy, because I am poor.  Under a hundred would be ideal.   

As far as color and design goes: Not too frilly, no pastels or pure white, etc. I like some color punch but, as you can see by my current comforter pick, I need some help in making it more adult. I'd also like to keep the bed skirt if the new comforter doesn't come with anything, but don't really care if it matches or not.

There were A LOT of people, a great turnout.  The preacher made it clear that it would be a celebration of her life, there were a lot of laughs and stories.  

She introduced herself to her mother and sister and told them they knew her through me, and knew who I was.  My friend said they were holding together amazingly well for the length of the wake.

The burial was private, so she left after the visitation and wake.  She said that the spirit was very upbeat.  They had a closed casket (which I was appropriate).  There were no more details of how she died, so we're all still in the unknown an might have to accept that.

Those of us friends offline/IRL have been holding eachother together, I'm so grateful for them.

I won't bombard the board with anymore posts about her, but if you have any questions, feel free to PM me.  Thanks for all your good thoughts!

 I told her that I didn't really see that much of a problem with it and asked if she trusted her H. Anyone else respond, or was mine enough to make her DD? 

I am usually not that great at the whole couponing thing and only save 5 to 10 percent.  I bought candy yesterday, which I don't usually buy, but Halloween is coming up.  With store coupons, manufacturer coupons and sales I had such a good shopping trip yesterday.  It almost makes up for the fact that I can't find my cell phone. (I know it will turn up.)  Anyway, I bought:

1 mini sewing kit

4 snack size bags of candy

4 boxes of cereal

I spent $11.93  Not bad! 

 Now if my Halloween costume would just get here, everything would be awesome.

Also I am ANTSY that is has been so long in between eps.  November, get here NAO.

How to make amends with your child

She's a pug/pom from the local humane society and Buffy luffs her new 'auntie' 

Last night I went to shower before bed and found seven on the wall/window/mirror, and twice as many up inside the shower light. I killed the ones in the room and hauled azz out of there. I put a rug rolled up in front of the door and a basket of laundry holding that in place.

Did I mention H is out of town? I couldn't sleep because I was afraid I was going to wake up to a swarm. I showered in the guest bath, without my razor or any of my regular stuff, hence my hairy pits today.

Exterminator comes at 1pm, btw.

So TIP's official position (and by that I mean many of the regs) is that there are never hard times between two people in a marriage? It has to be puppies and rainbows all the time between the two of you?

Two people are going to disagree on things sometimes, and yeah, you might even hit a patch where you're not working together like you normally do and one of you has to step up and say, "Wait a minute. This isn't us. What do we need to do to get back to that?" Now, I don't think that the vast majority of the marriage should be hard, but to say that two people will /never/ have to work hard or go through hard times is just silly. 

You may be thinking, "She's only been married for a month. WTF does she know?" Yes, I'll give you that. But at the same time, I have been with my husband for 9 years. When we were younger, we started getting all dramatic and our communication and day-to-day patterns were awful. It was not a great time. And we were both very young. But we went to couples therapy and learned how to communicate within our relationship and keep our commitment to making the other person feel loved and respected the main priority. Since then we have become closer and closer over the last 5 years and now we have the best relationship I could ever imagine. If I would have just given up when it was "hard" that never would have happened.

On the other hand, if we would have gone to therapy and nothing changed, then yes, I would have ended it. Change can happen in a relationship if you're both fully committed to it (and you have something worth fixing). If not, then yeah, you're wasting your time.

That's my $0.02. I'm sure now I'll get flamed or something. Whatever. 

Yaaaaay! 

What are you doing this weekend?

I spend all these years giving in to him and catering to everything he wanted. But I never get anything in return. He bought a wedding band and promise to eventually get me an engagement ring and still to this day nothing. he works for himself and makes good money.

I dislike him  a lot right now.We were thinking of starting a family and now i can't stand to be near him. He is a very selfish man who keeps all money separate from mine. When it comes to bills he insist on everything being 50/50.

So thank you again.  You girls are really great.  =]