We are rooting for you Damik! (((hugs)))

"People spend a lot of time at work, more than they do at their personal lives.  Not liking your job sucks donkey balls, and really colors the rest of your life.  When I hated my job, I spent every morning before work crying, eating chocolates, and watching Mary Poppins, and on the weekends I was so frantically determined to make my life worthwhile that I made those suck, too.  And I fought with Mr. Kuus a lot more then, too, over pretty much nothing.

I'm just saying, he's acting weird, but I kind of sympathize."

It made me realize that I'm not the only one that feels this way.  Truly, I thought I was alone.

Based on my dad's recommendation, I'm backing off the "feels like a truck" requirement.  I'm going to take the Outback out for a test drive this evening in the hopes that I can embrace a car, but, um, yeah....

Any ideas for me?  I'm looking to stay under $28K.  

Im new to this board.  Ive been married a year and half but we have been together for 4.  Things have been pretty good.  Normal arguments but we have been fine.  My husband worked nights and didnt like his job.  We decided to move to my hometown for a better job for him.  He was really excited about the whole thing, we started early summer.  I found a great new job with a large raise.  He found a new job.  It wasnt exactly what he wanted but he wouldnt be working 3pm to 5am anymore.  He would be working 2pm to 11pm.  Not wonderful but much improved.  With his old job, we lived 2 differnt lives in one house.  He slep in the basement because the noises of the day would wake him.  We only slept in the same bed during the weekend.

 We sold our house and bought a new house.  Its a wonderful house and he is proud of it.  We close in 2 weeks.  He started his new job last week.  He doesnt like it.  All of a sudden, the old job that he didnt like, has become the best job he has ever had and is sad about leaving it.  FYI he has never left his hometown.  Our new house/life is an hour away.

He came home yesterday very angry.  He said that I made him move to a place where he doesnt know anyone, and made him take a job he didnt like. 

This is crazy to me.  I told him I didnt make him do anything, we made these decisions together.  I told him that we dont have to move and he can go back to his job.  He said its too late (it kinda is).  I told him to find a new job, anything he wants to make him happy.  He said its too late. 

I just dont know what to do.  I dont want him to resent me for this.  I really didnt make him do it.  I encouraged the decisions he made because they will be much better for us as a family.  He agreed with this.  Any suggestions? 

I started dating someone 6 weeks ago and we've been having crazy fun together.  It's been totally amazing and has reminded me that I am worth so much more than I was getting from MH.  We probably jumped into things a little quickly, and yes, I was clearly on the rebound.  If things were able to continue as they are (too soon to tell right now, obviously), I think we could be really happy together.  We both want a lot of the same things out of life and he is different from MH in all the right ways.

The dilemma...  BF has a son (16 months old) who lives across the country.  His ex-GF is literally crazy... has done some seriously effed up things.  She has Histrionic Personality Disorder, so she lives off of making things up and getting people to buy into it.  Oh yeah, and her father is famous, so she has a sizeable trust fund.  BF has been fighting hard for custody, spending money he doesn't have to have lawyers who can compare to hers.  So far, the court has basically ruled that because his son hasn't been around him enough, he should stay with the crazy mom (and yes, the court got that she was crazy because there were hundreds of pages of documents supporting it).

On Friday, she told BF that she's moving back here Thursday with their son and another of her children (she has 4-- one over 18, the other lives with his dad).  BF was thrilled because he feels it's the only way he can build a bond with his son and possibly gain custody.  If he can get her to stay in this state for 6 months, jurisdiction moves here and it will be easier to fight, and a lot easier to keep her here in the future.

The stipulation she made was that he break up with me.  And sleep with her.  She wants to get pregnant again (BF says he will make absolutely certain that doesn't happen).  BF is heartbroken... feels he has to do it because it's his only chance to get his son, but he hates his exGF and doesn't want to be around her.  He feels it won't be good for his son to be around them together because they always fight... Anyway, he's doing it.  He says he will not ask me to wait, but he would be happy if I were still/again single when it's all over with exGF. 

WTF?!?  After being separated, part of me wants to say I need to be the one you put first!  But obviously, he has known me for 6 weeks, and the other person involved is his child....  I would totally judge a man for putting a new GF over their child.  A break from dating might really do me good, since I should have done that before, but met him and thought he was too good to pass up.  I don't know, sorry I rambled so long.  Any brilliant ideas??

What has made you happy recently? 

What are you looking forward to?

UPDATE: He called the office and made a joke about not being in for a few days, but didn't say what happened. So he's alive and kicking, thank God, but will be in the hospital for a few days anyway. Continued T&Ps for his recovery would of course still be greatly appreciated!!!  

Background info: Prior to my SO and his child's mother getting together Helen and him had a "close" friendship. Nothing supposently ever happened between them and he wound up with his baby's mother ( Helen's sister). From the moment I met Helen she treated me horrible, no nice to meet you, she sorta just looked me up and down, left me out of conversations ect. I actually have my SO's family and our friends point this out and bring it to my attention constantly. Her husband was in Iraq until this summer, up until then she constantly flirted with my SO whenever they were together. When ever everyones together at gatherings, birthday parties ect, she always makes it a point to try to get my SO alone in another room to hang out just the two of them, have a cigarette , always pulls him aside to just speak to her alone....that is unless her husband is around.

Right before My SO and I got together, he had a get-together and Helen came...they ended up getting into an argument over his babymama's other daughter who Helen is helping raise with her grandmother....My SO was originally fathering this kid when he was with his ex ( Helen's sister) and now is not because he's not her father....she was arguing over the fact that he should still be a father figure to this kid and she blurted out " I can't believe you don't care, they both could have been ours"! Crazy.

Now he admits she acts odd at times but claims, which I believe him on his side, there's nothing there.....this woman makes it a point to constantly post pics on FB of my SO's daughter and her 1/2 sister and titles it "my girls"...

My SO and I have fought over the fact that I do not want this woman in our life. He argues she's family, which I argue she's not.....she's his daughter family. She is his daughter's aunt not her mother! Which she acts like. I mean just this month I planned a birthday party for my SO's daughter and she gave me *** about how she had another idea for the party. I mean how much involvment is too much involvement? I'm glad she's a good aunt to his daughter. But cmon already. I really wish part of me can put the past aside and try to be fiends with this woman but I just can't see it.

My SO was upset the other day that Helen texted him something silly and he felt guilty responding to her because of my issue with her. He "doesn't want to feel guilty being friends with her". He's been keeping her at a distance lately but I feel guilty now. Just wanted to see how other's would handle a situation like this.

kthxbai!

Seriously though, that cake looks amazing!

DH, I guess, is more unique looking than I am. I can't think of a good one for him.

OP wants to know if anyone else is not trying but not preventing and getting upset with a BFN.

OP has 2 under 2.  She was almost homeless two months ago and complaining about not having any money.  Bank account was overdrawn, couldn't afford car insurance, bank account negative by a lot, etc.

FI was just in detox after stealing the OP's EBT card and spending the money on pills.   It sounds like that happened earlier this month from her blog.

One of mine was when we were doing the Friday afternoon "parties" with the booze pics and just getting really silly.

And internet hugs for all... 

I just wish she would back off!

::sits with legs akimbo awaiting the story::

I have very little info right now, but if you want more, you can feel free to PM me or AutumnJoy.

I don't know what else to say.

2 years ago, I cheated on my husband. I came clean about everything. I have done a lot of self evaluation to learn why I went looking for attention elsewhere. Luckily, I now know the answer. Unfortunately, I became someone I hate. We began couples counseling in January 2010 and phased out of it in October 2010. While we?ve made some improvements, there are things I just cannot look past (and things he cannot look past either, obviously). I immediately cut off all contact with the other man (OM) and cut off contact with the majority of my friends for his comfort. I changed my cell number and have taken drastic measures to ensure his comfort. All together, I pretty much say ?how high?? when he says jump.

I visited Surviving Infidelity often when this happened. I found hope for our situation. Counseling helped as well. We made wonderful strides forward. I went out of my way daily to make sure he felt loved and knew I loved (still do) him and wanted to make our relationship work. Our communication grew leaps and bounds?until we got pregnant. Yes, I know some of you are slamming your heads against your desk and wondering why he even thought about A) staying and having a child with me. To this day, I know neither of these answers. The duration of my pregnancy he kept everything bottled up. There are maybe one or two occasions when he told me how he felt, which sent me into a hormonal crying fit. I cried for how I hurt him, how I hurt our family (his side mostly), how I betrayed his trust. I cried for his forgiveness.

Fast forward to today. DD is 6 ? months old and as new parents, life is stressful. We are both in the finance industry to that compounds our stressors. We work together- as in get ready for work together, drive to work together, work on the same team, drive home together, eat dinner together?see the pattern? The only time we really have away from one another is when the other is @ the gym.

Here is where I begin to struggle and I will try to be as articulate and succinct as possible. I?ve lost ?me? in all of this. I have no idea who I really am anymore. I don?t know what I like anymore. I?d love to try new activities, but he has absolutely no trust in me, even after 2 years, to go and try something new. I?m talking a painting class or dance class; I?m not talking about a trying a new club. Those days are long gone. Something, anything new. He?ll fuss at me to the point where both of our days are ruined if I wear something that has any sort of a low neckline. His idea of a low neckline is non-turtleneck. When I?m ?allowed? to do something, I have to text or call him when I get there, while I?m there and before I leave. If I don?t text or my plans change and can?t get a hold of him, all hell breaks loose.

So you know what I mean when I say ?plans change?, let me give you one of the most recent examples. I went to lunch with my mom, aunt and daughter a few weeks ago. After lunch, they offered to keep her while I ran to Michael?s for supplies for 2 crafts. I tried calling him on my way, but he didn?t answer. I did not text him. My trip lasted about 40 minutes max, including drive time. When I got home and told him how lunch was and that I went to Michael?s, he got incredibly irritated. I got the cold shoulder for 2 days because I did not try every method to get in contact with him. If that didn't paint a good enough picture for you, how about this? Over the weekend, we celebrated our anniversary at a new, and very delicious italian restaurant. The GM waited on us because we arrived when they were closing and they were gracious enough to seat us. He says the GM was flirting w/me all night. I didn't see it and told him it's hard to see something like that when you're not open to it. I am "not allowed" to go to the restaurant unless he is with me. My mom and I usually go out to eat when our DHs are away and that's the case this week...

Moving on, I am ?limited? to what I can wear. The baggier the better. I am limited to who I can talk to. I am limited to what I can do. When we get in any kind of argument, he defaults to the affair even if it had nothing to do with said argument. It?s always my fault. Doesn?t matter what the issue is, it?s my fault.

I know he?s not happy. I?m not happy either. I try so hard to be good to him. He deserves a loving wife and he didn?t deserve what was done to him. I love him so much and there are days I absolutely cannot imagine anyone else in my life as my DH. Despite what we?ve gone through, I love him dearly. When does it become the point of emotional/ verbal abuse or just a matter or poor coping skills? I cannot imagine myself in this situation 20 years down the road. I would hate my life. I am already beginning to do so now. I can?t help but feel like a child, an insubordinate, not his equal.  

So thanks if you made it this far. I?d really appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I know there?s a lot wrong with our relationship. Maybe I?m looking for someone to tell me they?ve been where I am and that it gets better. Maybe I?m asking for advice on whether this relationship is salvageable. Maybe I?m asking if his behavior is normal. I?m incredibly embarrassed to even be posting this to a bunch of folks on the internet. I?ll answer your questions, but I?m embarrassed. I don?t want to get defensive so it may take a bit to respond. I?d rather not say something beebeeish and GBCTIP.

Zips up flame retardant suit and waits for frozen oranges and staplers.

I snuffle-cried in front of my boss this morning when she asked if everything was okay. lol.  And I also got my period!  BEST WEEK EVAR

My mom went to the hospital today.   She's been sick for 8 days now and the had a chest x-ray and they found a spot on the lung.   She was initially diagnosed tentatively with pneumonia, but after the radiologist looked at it, he said it wasn't pneumonia and she needed to check herself into the hospital. 

Sigh.  I'm waiting to hear back from her if they're going to admit her or what they think it could be.

Also, this whole ordeal is making me sad for my dad, because when my dad was sick and dying, he had my mom to take care of him.   And if my mom is sick, she doesn't have anyone.   I mean, she has her children, but we don't live with her and can't be there every day.   Plus, I can't imagine going through something like that alone.   

Oh, and just a tip...  If you ever post about trying to find a 'work from home' job that isn't a scam, much drinking will ensue.  That board get posts like that on an almost daily basis.

How are you feeling?  Looks like any day now you'll be popping out the LO!