Married Life
dbanana
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby's 1st Birthday Bash? And A Registry?
in Married Life
I'm new to the nest, so hopefully I'm putting this on the right board? I've been active over at TK and got married last month 
My brother and his girlfriend have a baby together who will be turning 1 at the end of this month. They are throwing a huge birthday party, including renting out a place, sending invitations, the whole nine. Normally, I wouldn't have an issue with that - yeah, I get it, the kid won't remember, but it's a good excuse to get family together, and I love family get togethers. However, my brother and his GF literally cannot afford the roof over their head - they are moving in with our dad this weekend. It just doesn't make sense to me that their (mostly her) priorities are having this large family party (including inviting cousins of ours) when they are being removed from the home they current live in (they they also didn't pay for). Part of me thinks she really wants a wedding, especially with the family getting together so recently for my own wedding (and she has been begging my brother to marry her for years), but I digress.
Here's the looper: they have registered for this party. Am I crazy or is this unheard of? They don't have "baby's birthday party registries" at stores for a reason, just baby showers and weddings. On that note, I never got a thank you card from the baby shower which I gave a generous gift at, so maybe I'm still sore for that. I'm debating whether or not I need to get a gift or if I am seriously offended that they registered for a one year old.
Any nesties have any advice or similar situations?
Re: Baby's 1st Birthday Bash? And A Registry?
As far as the registry, not only is it ridiculous, it's gauche and in very poor taste. (Not that they really sound like they care about good taste or propriety, but still.) It's one thing to register for what you need to care for a new baby, but it's another thing when the kid is a year old. Most people know what to buy for a one year old, and while most people probably know what to buy for a new baby, the registry is used so that the parents can indicate the items they'd most like their newborn to come home to. Neither a birthday party or a registry should be used to demand a gift, and that sounds like what your brother and gf are after--a demand list.
I get your temptation to not get a gift at all--spite can be a powerful emotion. If I were you, I'd get something, but definitely not something on the list and maybe something that's more of a keepsake. For example, when my twin nephews turned 1 I made a book of photos of their first year of life.
On the other hand I don't see in general how having a registry for a birthday is cheekier than having one for any other occasion, you don't have an automatic right to presents at a shower or wedding either. Some people would consider having a registry for anything tacky, but people do it anyway because it's useful for people who want to get a gift that will be genuinely appreciated. My friend had a registry for her one year old, I saw the link on Facebook. She wasn't having a party or demanding gifts from anyone, she just put it up there for the use of people that were going to get a gift anyway. That is always what I have assumed registries are for, I have never felt compelled to get a gift from one just because it was available and I wasn't bothered at our wedding when people bought non-registry gifts. Most of our friends our own age didn't give us anything at all.