WTF? (PR not me)

nightmare_of_beauty

So my SIL posted on FB the simple status of "I'm Pregnant." Seems pretty crazy when she just had a baby on Nov 17th. Turns out it was some FB joke going around. She has now posted a status that basically says it's just a game/joke, you don't like it, than move on and don't read it (I summed that up a lot). 

I don't think this is funny or a joke or a game. I'm fighting all my urges not to comment on this. 

Anyone else seeing this today? 

brij2006

I've seen one like that floating around for a while.  It's definitely not something I would be posting. That's for sure.  But for her sake, that's a sick joke. Her child is only 18 days old.  Haha, you're so funny. Not!

BruinsBabe33

Eff that noise! Seriously. People suck.

sgautschi

Ugh I hate those statuses. They either make you falsely excited for someone or really pissed off...I'm sorry nightmare..:(

I would probably send her a PM explaining how hurtful posts like that are.

PandPMeant2B

Anyone ever see those posts that start of something like, "I'm expecting! and, after a long paragraph, you realize they're "expecting" something like Christmas?  I saw a few of those last month and it was really annoying.  I figured it was a joke to begin with, because who really talks like that, but some people don't even bother reading the whole thing before posting their congratulations.  So. Stupid. 

sgautschi

^That one is so stupid. My friend posted it last year and I was so excited until I finished reading it...

My male cousin posts every year on April Fools that his wife is pregnant, and I always get so excited because he really wants kids and deserves to be a dad after what his ex did (had an abortion without telling him). So I always get really irritated with him posting it as a joke.

islandmonkey8

Seriously. People need to catch on that pretending you're pregnant, even on FB is not cool.

lilliesandvino

It seems like Facebook is like natural selection, but for friendships.

nightmare_of_beauty

People started defending her to say what she wants. A mutual friend with IF problems called her out and she realized I was upset about it. Apologized and took down the "I'm pregnant" one, but left the up "I say what I want." People continued to post that they didn't think it was a big deal, so I posted my story on there. 

I'm going to regret it later I bet. 

islandmonkey8

nightmare_of_beauty said:

People started defending her to say what she wants. A mutual friend with IF problems called her out and she realized I was upset about it. Apologized and took down the "I'm pregnant" one, but left the up "I say what I want." People continued to post that they didn't think it was a big deal, so I posted my story on there. 

I'm going to regret it later I bet. 

I would love to hear the responses after yours. Don't regret sharing. People deserve to know that what they may be defending is hurtful to others.

nightmare_of_beauty

Me: Since it seems to be that you all need an answer, one of the people upset and one of them that Jess (who is my friend) is defending is me. I just had a miscarriage of my first child after working my butt off for a year to be in a position to have a child and trying for 4 months. I have told A I support her saying what she wants on her facebook, but you can not stop me from being hurt. If you are lucky enough to never have a problem than congrats that you haven't had to feel the pain.

9 minutes ago · Like

Me fyi I'm A's sister in law

9 minutes ago · Like

A: and thats the person im very close to that i would NEVER NEVER WANT TO HURT her and my brother!!

8 minutes ago · Like

Me: I'm not mad at you A, we talked, we're good, don't worry. I just felt that this needed to be said

7 minutes ago · Like

A: say what u want!! lol

No one else has said anything and about half the people who were posting for her to "say what she wants" know both of us, just not close enough to know what happened. 

lfk2013

What she posted is wrong on so many levels.  I'm glad you posted your story and I really hope she feels bad.

*hug*

blueeyedblossom

I've become more vocal on FB where it comes to idiotic posts like this. I prefer to speak up for people who aren't "out" about 3T. People don't realize that what they say can be hurtful, I try to do it with tact, but sometimes my snark gets the better of me.

R.Wilsonny

nightmare_of_beauty said:

So my SIL posted on FB the simple status of "I'm Pregnant." Seems pretty crazy when she just had a baby on Nov 17th. Turns out it was some FB joke going around. She has now posted a status that basically says it's just a game/joke, you don't like it, than move on and don't read it (I summed that up a lot). 

I don't think this is funny or a joke or a game. I'm fighting all my urges not to comment on this. 

Anyone else seeing this today? 

YES!!!!! My H did this a few weeks ago....it was some 'game' where you click like on a person's status (which has some random silly nonsense) and they give you a 'list' of random silly nonsense to choose from to post in your status. So one day, I am looking, and I see this in my newsfeed, and a bunch of comments below from our friends congratulating us. Theeeeeeennnnn....to add to all of this....I get a text from his cousin asking me if I have something to tell her. I seriously wanted to kill him. I asked him WTF then he explains that it was a 'game' thinking that it was funny and I said NOT FUCKING FUNNY. It's bad enough that I cry every month that I am not pregnant, then he goes and does this. After I screamed at him for doing something so stupid, he promptly deleted it.

 

blueeyedblossom

@{{{hugs}}} @R.Wilsonny men are so ignorant sometimes!

PandPMeant2B

I hope you don't regret posting, NOB. You were very brave to share your story and I wish more people were open about it.  It's nothing anyone should be ashamed of or afraid to share.  This is the only way other people will learn not to be such insensitive assholes.

nightmare_of_beauty

I will say this, people I know have made me feeling like I shouldn't talk about it. 

To make a long story short, I put the u/s in a frame and have it in our living room up next to our wedding pictures (the picture frame says Forever and Always). People I've told or have seen have given me the side eye for it. 

Sewilson33

I don't even want to go on FB now just in case this is some "joke trend" going around in my circle.

srcr2011

Ugh, those are sooo dumb!! I have seen it on FB for a while. I guess if you are that bored and need some attention and need people to know you still exist, please, continue to post stupid, fake status that you are pregnant. I also find them hurtful. I can't stop what people post and I can't change it, or make them delete it or apologize but I do have my opinion and if I call them out on it or not, it wont' really change them or my option of them. People like that must have never experienced the pain of losing a pregnancy or not being able to get pregnant, and to jokingly put that on their status show their maturity level (regardless of how old they are or how funny they think it is to get the reaction they are looking for). I would rather just roll my eyes, and ignore it than to start a war I'm not going to win and tell them about my 3 losses and give them any reaction. I'm not going to waste my time entertaining their stupid status. If I must say anything, I might just put, "do you know how stupid you sound right now?!?" SMH!

srcr2011

Another thing, I don't know about you, ladies, but I have some friends that I either went to nursing school with, haven't talked to in a while, an acquaintance, a friend's sister's boyfriend...whatever and *child mentioned* When I was pregnant with my son, I didn't post a real offical "I'm pregnant" status. Some people on my friends list aren't my true real friends in real life. So those who are close to me knew and that was that. I talked about my pregnancy with my friends and those who stalked my page knew from reading comments. I also had a MC before my son and knew reading the real "I'm pregnant" status and pregnancy journey hurt. Since then, I had 2 more losses and again, another friend is documenting her pregnancy on FB. Next time, I'm still not doing the pregnancy on FB thing again. It may be hurtful to others who are secretly going through a MC and I wouldn't' want to hurt anyone by documenting it. Anyway..

RockABye

sgautschi said:

 My male cousin posts every year on April Fools that his wife is pregnant, and I always get so excited because he really wants kids and deserves to be a dad after what his ex did (had an abortion without telling him). So I always get really irritated with him posting it as a joke.

I had a friend do this a couple years ago but it backfired... she found out about a week later that she was in fact pregnant lol..

nightmare_of_beauty

RockABye said:

sgautschi said:

 My male cousin posts every year on April Fools that his wife is pregnant, and I always get so excited because he really wants kids and deserves to be a dad after what his ex did (had an abortion without telling him). So I always get really irritated with him posting it as a joke.

I had a friend do this a couple years ago but it backfired... she found out about a week later that she was in fact pregnant lol..

I usually avoid FB on April Fool's Day (long story), but when I see them, I always post "APRIL FOOLS" in the comment. I've had people get mad at me for it because I ruined the joke. 

LuckyAngel07

Eff that shit. If someone I was friends with on FB were so insensitive as to post that as a joke, they'd be getting their asses promptly deleted. 

Yes, it's their wall and they have the freedom to post whatever they want. But really, if you wouldn't say it to someone's face in real life or make a joke of it in front of a bunch of people whose situations you don't know, don't post it on your wall. Common freaking sense. 

Oh, and @R.Wilsonny, I probably would have seriously been considering divorce if MH ever posted something like that as a joke. Holy shit. How stupid can men get?

R.Wilsonny

Oh, well, I love my H, and normally he doesn't do something this stupid, but believe me, I was not loving him when I saw that....I wouldn't divorce him over it, but the thought of crotchpunting him did cross my mind. Men just don't think sometimes but he got the message loud and clear when I screamed at him that maybe, just maybe, making some announcement like that as a joke - or even seriously - IS NOT OKAY.

That's the thing...if we do get PR, I do not want to make some grand announcement on fb about it. In fact, I intend to keep quiet about it for a while before even telling anyone. And this is a discussion that we've had already, so we're on the same page about it. This is just one of those very personal, private, intimate moments that I don't want the world to know about until I'm ready to let them know - especially if there winds up being problems - and that includes telling family. Even with our struggles, only a very few select people (outside of this forum) know.

 

 

islandmonkey8

nightmare_of_beauty said:

I will say this, people I know have made me feeling like I shouldn't talk about it. 

To make a long story short, I put the u/s in a frame and have it in our living room up next to our wedding pictures (the picture frame says Forever and Always). People I've told or have seen have given me the side eye for it. 

I love that you did this. I'm sorry people are side-eyeing you. No one here ever would!

sgautschi

islandmonkey8 said:

nightmare_of_beauty said:

I will say this, people I know have made me feeling like I shouldn't talk about it. 

To make a long story short, I put the u/s in a frame and have it in our living room up next to our wedding pictures (the picture frame says Forever and Always). People I've told or have seen have given me the side eye for it. 

I love that you did this. I'm sorry people are side-eyeing you. No one here ever would!

Agreed, that is so sweet. I would probably do the same thing.

ETA Tried fixing the quote but I don't think it worked. Oh well.

MRads

I cannot imagine doing that as a joke.

nightmare_of_beauty

And that's why I love all the girls on here  :x

R.Wilsonny

nightmare_of_beauty said:

And that's why I love all the girls on here  :x

It's nice to have a support network sometimes out of your 'inner circle' because I feel at least you can get some different perspective and vent freely without being judged. You should never be made to feel ashamed of anything you are going through - everyone's journey is different as well as how they handle things like loss and issues TTC. Its comforting to know that this forum is here for us

wiggyslilsis

@nightmare_of_beauty I think it was huge to post on your SIL's post and I hope it makes those others realize that it isn't about posting whatever you want but that people's words can hurt and you never know what other's are going through.

I am also so sorry people in real life are not supportive. I think of you often and hope that you are doing OK. I think that is beautiful that you put the u/s pic in a forever and always frame.

***Big Hugs***

FutureMrsWright2012

Truthfully, there are so many ugly, awful things posted on Facebook anymore that I hardly go on there. People are idiots. The end.