Advice needed

Alejandra23

My husband has been talking to female friends that he knows I don't approve of. Should I confront him about it?

SmrBrd2012

Depends on why you don't approve of them and how he is interacting with them...Can you give us more details?

Alejandra23

He has a tendency to take things to far. He usually crosses that line between appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to female friends. As far as I can tell, it's only through Facebook.

Disneygeek77

Can you give an example ?

Alejandra23

Last time I caught him talking to a "friend" they were calling each other babe. He was hiding this "friendship" from me and they would meet up at times. All of this without me having any knowledge of if.

Erikan73

I think this calls for a discussion. Are these co-workers he hasn't mentioned before and it's co-workers going out for lunch or as a group after work for a drink? How did he meet this women? Like was it through facebook or is it an old childhood friend? Even if it is something casual and an old friend, no reason for him to hide it if he's doing nothing wrong. If they are just truely friends, the he should have no problem talking about or even taking you alone to meet his "friend".

Alejandra23

No they're old high school friends. He's just been communicating through Facebook with her.

artbyallie

I think it should be him you're not approving of, rather than his "friends." Though to be fair, I call lots of people things like babe/honey/sweetie. Deliberately hiding things is a much bigger problem.

Erikan73

Ok, well at least how he knows her is innocent. Does he call just her babe or is he one of those guys that calls all women babe? You know how some people call everyone dude? I'm not trying to play down your emotions but trying to help come to an understanding of him & his behavior

GilliC

Why do you say he was hiding it? Did he lie and say he was messaging someone else?

If he's lying, it's a huge red flag, because he feels there's something he should hide. Otherwise, I don't think it's a big deal based on the cited info.

cloudymeatballs

If he is hiding something, then that is the problem. If they are just friends then fine, but the fact that he hides it from you is what I would be worried about. It is not okay, in my book, to be having hidden relationships that you are unaware of. That's just me though. If I were to find out my H was having relationships with women that I did not know about then there would be a problem. I'm guessing you were snooping on his FB and found it... I think that is why you are curious and hesitant to confront him about it. Am I close???

Tori1567

If your husband knows you do not approve of this female friend then that boundary between the 2 of you was set and speaking to her is inappropriate. It of course depends on the context of the conversations they are having. In any case… if he is aware that you do not approve of them conversing, then he is fully aware he is doing something that would upset you. I would have a conversation with him. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Janimal

Anything you have to keep a secret from your spouse is wrong. 

Are you really asking IF you should confront him?  Couples need direct communication to make it.  If you aren't even sure if you should talk to him about somethin that bothers you, then you may be doomed based on your lack of communication skills with each other, regardless of the other woman thing.

Talk to him about it.  Get both your butts to a counselor to address the issues with his flirting and how you can both deal with it, and get some help with working on some communication techniques.