You can't make this up...(LR)

poppies717

I got a tree in the mail today. A tree. A freaking TREE!

BIL and SIL "felt bad" about their behavior this past weekend, so they wanted to send us a gift. MIL told us about this last night. I didn't know what to expect, but now I have to plant a freaking tree. I have enough trees!

It's the thought that counts...And repeat!

wiggyslilsis

A tree? I wonder the train of thought that led to them thinking...hmmm we feel bad let's get Mr. And Mrs. Poppies a tree.

BruinsBabe33

Here's a tree so you have to do chores. Sorry we're giant pricks! I guess the thought is nice!

islandmonkey8

A tree? Is it a good one like magnolia, cherry blossom, dogwood.... Something pretty? If not, I might "accidentally" black thumb it. Or, donate it to someone else. I'm not a big tree person though. Weird gift, IMO.

poppies717

It is a magnolia. But I'm not really good at gardening...yikes.

arj14

That is... bizarre.  Is Mr Poppies good at gardening?  What was going on in their heads?!  The world may never know.

LuckyAngel07

That is a bizarre thing to give a couple who just experienced a loss. I understand some people planting trees in dedication/memory of someone, but it's not everyone's thing. 

At least it's a pretty tree. 

poppies717

DH doesn't want to plant it, but I think it will just cause more drama if we don't. Off to research magnolia trees....*skips away in sarcastic joy*

MrsFreeman2010

What an odd gift! Hopefully it's not too much work for you guys...at least it's a pretty one!

DangerMuffin23

I once gave a friend a tree after her nephew died from leukemia. He was less than a year old. I gave it to her so she could watch it grow and be a reminder of his life. (It was also a fruit tree to it would bear fruit). She seemed to like it. She planted it and even brought it with her to her next home when she moved. But then again, I wasn't a giant douche to her beforehand and using it as a makeup gift. It was just for her loss. (And we were close)

poppies717

DangerMuffin23 said:

I once gave a friend a tree after her nephew died from leukemia. He was less than a year old. I gave it to her so she could watch it grow and be a reminder of his life. (It was also a fruit tree to it would bear fruit). She seemed to like it. She planted it and even brought it with her to her next home when she moved. But then again, I wasn't a giant douche to her beforehand and using it as a makeup gift. It was just for her loss. (And we were close)

Key. Key. Key. I can't imagine you as a giant douche.

I'll be the bigger person and plant it, but inside I will always call it the Tree of Fertile Guilt.

nfp147

At least they realized they were douches.  It's too bad they didn't realize it at the wine store though.

sgautschi

I can see where they would've gotten the idea, but I'm sorry you have to take care of it now.

nightmare_of_beauty

Odd gift. I can't think of what else to say because itd just odd.

MRads

Was it in your mailbox? I'm trying to figure out the logistics. So strange.

brij2006

They could've given it to you under different circumstances. Like after they heard about your loss and mourned with you. After the way they've treated you, I would give it back to them and say you don't need their fake sympathy. But that would probably makes things worse.

FWIW, giving trees for loss is very common in our area. Our pastor and his wife gave us a tree after our loss. We planted it at my parents farm so it will always be with our family no matter where H and I move.

Maybe you could do that. What about planting it at your in laws. "Just in case" you choose to not live in your current home forever.

DangerMuffin23

poppies717 said:

DangerMuffin23 said:

I once gave a friend a tree after her nephew died from leukemia. He was less than a year old. I gave it to her so she could watch it grow and be a reminder of his life. (It was also a fruit tree to it would bear fruit). She seemed to like it. She planted it and even brought it with her to her next home when she moved. But then again, I wasn't a giant douche to her beforehand and using it as a makeup gift. It was just for her loss. (And we were close)

Key. Key. Key. I can't imagine you as a giant douche.

I'll be the bigger person and plant it, but inside I will always call it the Tree of Fertile Guilt.

Aww thanks!

Venti29

Was it an olive tree?

poppies717

nfp147 said:

At least they realized they were douches.  It's too bad they didn't realize it at the wine store though.

It's funny you say this. They gave us 2 bottles of wine for Christmas. While I was in the 2WW after our first IVF. Thanks for the confidence, jerks.

@venti29 - it's a magnolia tree. It will be beautiful; it's just the perceived fake support that bothers me. I can't do anything about it though. There is a very long backstory to all this, so let's just say that this is just par for the course for these two. Thank goodness they have cute kids and my nephew thinks I'm the most amazing person EVER!

poppies717

MRads said:

Was it in your mailbox? I'm trying to figure out the logistics. So strange.

It came in a big, long box, like flowers from 1-800-flowers. I thought that's what they were, to be honest.

Brij- we can't plant it at my ILs as they are going to sell their house in 2-5 years. We can't plant it at their new house or my parents' because of space and zoning. We are narrowing it down.

islandmonkey8

You nephew is smart! You are a much stronger woman than I am. I get what they think they did by sending the tree is right. I just don't think I could plant it and watch their fake support grow forever. I hope you find a place you can plant it where it is out of your way and you don't have the constant reminder of their "support."

Xan921

You should send it through a wood chipper and mail it back to them that way.

poppies717

islandmonkey8 said:

I get what they think they did by sending the tree is right. I just don't think I could plant it and watch their fake support grow forever.

I am in total agreement. I think they sent it to feel better about themselves, like they were feeling guilty for being jerks, so this somehow absolves them of that.

It's really, really, REALLY not worth the drama to not plant it. I'm forgetting who it was from and looking at it as a way to have the beauty of Poppyseed show. Too bad for them I already have poppies planted indoors to plant for our baby. #supportfail

amandaf6383

Weeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrdddddddddddd.

Apollo11235

How awkward. I hope you can enjoy the tree, anyway, even if the gesture is... well, not.

saralynn7

Is there any way you could talk to your city park and see if you could donate it?