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baconsmom
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: Because I'm a PW and it's slow
I'm reading an article about the effect of marital conflict on children who witness it. The author makes this assertion: "in most marriages it can be a frequent, every day occurrence."
I'm just wondering if that's true. Would you rate your conflict as frequent or every day?
Re: Poll: Because I'm a PW and it's slow
I just a friendly gal looking for options.
Oh, the look of terror on their little faces is priceless, really.
We don't disagree on much, and we fight maybe once a year. We occasionally get grumpy with each other, but usually the non-grump just points it out to the grump and the grump gets to go be by herself for a while. (Yes, it's usually me.) Sort of like time-out for grownups.
I'm not judging, either - I know there are lots of different dynamics for relationships. I just know that I, personally, can't handle a high level of conflict, and I'd hate to be with someone who could fight every day.
Crap...I Mean Crafts
I would also like to point out that I think watching your parents argue is a good way to learn conflict resolution, imo. Watching a calm, rational argueeent and resolution is a good thing. Watching mom call dad a lazy SOB and dad threaten divorce at every disagreement, not so much.
I just a friendly gal looking for options.
The good news is that arguing in front of the kids doesn't seem to harm them - as long as there's a resolution. Giving the silent treatment or pretending to be okay doesn't work - the kids see through it. And resolving the argument out of sight of the kids is okay, too - they notice the behavior/mood change once everything's resolved, and feel okay about it.
What's not okay is talking about separation or divorce in front of them - it makes them think the family is threatened, not just that you're disagreeing. And obviously, calling names or being abusive isn't good, but this study was about regular fighting. And if the child is intervening - meaning they place the importance of keeping the family together above their own interests - they're too involved in the fights, or the fights are too intense.