Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WoW
Oh, where to begin. I hate WoW. Yesterday, I was upset and crying in the kitchen; lots of things are going wrong right now outside of my husband and I's relationship. Sometime I get overwhelmed with how things are so out of control. I stood there making dinner for him and I couldn't talk right off. I started to come out with everything that was bothering me, but it was Thursday night at 7:00pm and time for us to go on a raid in WoW. So he suggested we go raiding, then watch Bones and go to bed. I didn't get to vent. I was so angry that he would even think about playing a stupid game when I was so upset. I just want to quit playing all together. He regularly chooses to play instead of talking or spending time with me. Unfortunately, this is the pretty well the only way that I can spend time with him. I hate it. Anyone else have this problem?
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Re: WoW
Kick him out. If playing a game is more important to him than listening to you and having a conversation about your thoughts and feelings then you need to kick his a$$ to the curb. End of story.
Ditto
There have been articles and all sorts of publicity about how WoW is breaking up marriages/relationships. I think MMORPGs do have potential to create problems; it's not just you/your husband. I saw WoW cause issues with my friend and her ex. That being said, WoW may not be to blame - your H may be looking for escape from daily life rather than dealing with problems and now it's coming between you two.
Ask him to make 20 minutes to talk to you with all electronics turned off/out of sight. Tell him how much you enjoy spending quality time together and that you feel like WoW is not satisfying as far as that goes. Suggest scheduling another activity where you are actively communicating/sharing your lives - a walk, going to the gym, bike ride, cooking dinner, just sitting on the couch and talking.
That way you are not attacking him for his WoW addiction. You are telling him that you have a need for more time together and it isn't being met by playing WoW. Back up the words with actions and delete your account.
So did you actually tell him that you'd like to talk instead of raiding?
I have had this problem too. My DH wasn't as bad as some of his friends were but it still got to be a problem in our relationship. I would hate it that two nights out of the week for at least three hours he would be unavailable. Now it is better because most of the people in his guild have had kids recently or their work schedules have changed so they can't raid regularly.
I don't mean this in any way negative but does your DH have an active social life outside of WoW? One of my close friends (before we started hanging out) got to the point where she would raid 4 or more times a week and it was largely do to the fact that she didn't really have friends outside of the game (she moved to where her husband lived). She felt committed to playing everyday because she felt that these people depended on her and it made her feel important. It gave her something she wasn't getting outside of the game. I know it sounds silly for people that don't play the game but that is why a lot of people get hooked into playing.
I don't know if you have tried this but I would sit down with your DH and try to work out a compromise. See if he can get a schedule where lets say on Tuesdays and Thursdays he raids and then the rest of the time you guys can do something. I think it would also be good for you to do something on those days that he is raiding so you aren't sitting at home thinking about how he is ignoring you. I am not an overly social person but I love to knit so I joined a knitting club that meets weekly. I also think that if you quit playing it might help him to either quit or play a lot less because he won't think that the time you are playing together is "you and me time".He will also see that maybe you are serious about what you are saying.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
That's a good idea. He might think playing WoW is a great way to spend time together, when obviously you feel differently.
This. Communication is key! Sitting down and having a real conversation, void of distraction, would be the best idea.
Your husband is a moron. My hubby and I used to play WoW together. Then we got real jobs, real lives, and suddenly it didn't matter. I quit playing, canceled my account. Hubby quit a week later. If he doesn't get the hint, tell him it's either WoW or you (keep in mind, be prepared to deal with his answer regardless of what it is). His answer should give you a fair idea of where your relationship will end up sooner or later.
My H has been playing for months and thanks to their guild most of them are older and have families but it's not so bad. He gets his weekly stuff done and after that we plan time for ourselves. If talking to him doesn't help you could also lock out his account so he plays for a certain amount of time and it will kick him out after.
I can totally relate. If someone has not played this stupid game, you have NO CLUE how absolutely addicting it is. Raids can take HOURS. I spent last weekend waiting 5 hours for my guy to finish his raid so we could go workout.
I would really ask your husband if this is an escape for him. Sometimes if your life sucks, your WoW life begins to feel more important. You have friends, you have importance in the game, you have small and long term goals you work to achieve. You guys need to have a heart to heart about this, only he can tell you why he feels the need to play so much, even if you are in distress.
My guy and I just let our account lapse. I will probably play again next month, but both of us hate how obsessive we get about that stupid game. All the time I ask myself what the hell we did before we started playing.
I really hope you guys can get to the bottom of it. If he genuinely wants to continue playing, suggest joining or starting a raiding guild that only raids once a week. Keep us (or me) posted on how things are going.