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New here-can use your help
Hey guys...
This is my first post on this board but I started lurking today and realized I wanted your advice!
My H and I got married last september (almost a year) but shortly after I got pretty sick and there was a lot of pain with sex. I got diagnosed with endo in march and started a lupron treatment (6 months of medical menopause) recently I have been feeling a million times better and now I'm ready to start having sex again and start TTC soon. I'm having difficulty getting my H back into it after going without sex but still some playing around for about 9 months. He is basically in a state of mind now that if I want sex and I feel good enough then I will just rip his clothes off and get going but when he is in that state of mind it turns me off. I talked to him about needing him to put in effort too and I thought it went well but now there is no difference! We are both having difficulties where I never thought there would be trouble...
So any advice ladies?
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Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
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Re: New here-can use your help
I say rip his clothes off of him a few times. That should get him back into the swing of things. If you don't really want to go that route, be a little more subtle. Walk in to the living room wearing some sexy lingerie and make out with him. He'll catch on.
He's been so used to having to push all those feelings aside for so long. I'm sure he doesn't want to seem to over eager. Coax him along a little. Have fun with it. Seduce your husband.
Thanks
I guess I am going to have to initiate more than I do right now...I think that he doesn't understand that I have had to push aside the feelings too like he thinks that because I was in pain that I didn't have the same feelings anymore. So now I gotta get him going again...hopefully after a few times of me trying to get him going he will get into the swing of things again. I'm not used to having to initiate at all!
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
Yeah, when you aren't used to it, it can be intimidating. It can kind of make you feel silly. Do you drink at all? I ask because maybe a glass of wine might make it easier for you. I'm not sure if you are still on meds and if it will cause you issues, though. If not, try it. I'd say just try to have fun with it. It's almost like starting over again. Ease into if you have to. Just start with making out. In a few days or a week or two, move a little further. Do what you are ok with. You might not even have to rip his clothes off. I can give my husband a certain look and he's knows I'm good to go.
Either way, try to look at it as fun and not as you having to work at it. KWIM? After a few times, I'm sure you won't have to initiate every time.
Buy an apron,...make sure it's large enough to cover your front from your knees to just above your nipples. Remove all of your clothes and put on the apron,..do your hair. When he arrives home be pleasant and freindly,...don't make any reference to how you are attired..........
......Get on with your housework etc,...some bending over for stuff is permitted and recommended!
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
I had some issues after battling cancer and lots of hormone therapy, so I completely understand.
You may feel better but that doesn't mean you are necessarily a sex-kitten.
Make-out with him. Close your eyes and just kiss him, lick his neck, press your body into his and feel him getting into it which will in turn, get you into it. I promise he will follow suit.