A friend's father passed away WWYD??

his1stmy4th

I know I haven't posted on here in a very long time but I have a question in regards to appropriateness when someone passes away.  

A friend of mine's father passed away yesterday after a long battle with cancer.   There will be no service.  I would like to send the family something but since there is no service I don't know if flowers are really a good choice.  I was thinking of sending a donation in his name to the American Cancer Society but hubs said that I should just send the money to the family and if they wanted to donate it they could.  I just don't think that makes sense.   My feeling is if we are going to make the donation just do it. 

 

Philly6*6*09

I'm sorry to hear about your friends father. I recently lost my father.

Send flowers to the home - having flowers in my home helped make me smile.  They were pretty, and bright, and just in general nice to have. 

Let your friend know that you are there for her, a sholder to cry on, just someone to talk to.

I like the donation idea as well, but speaking from my own personal experience I didn't know about all that till like a month after my father passed - I found out so and so made a donation...I was like, oh okay, thats nice.  But that's just me.

Food is also a helpful idea, but again in my experience I was hardly eating anything for like a good two weeks.

Kellybeth124

I think Philly gave some great advice. Flowers and a thoughtful card are a good way to go. I also like the idea of freezer meals that the family could keep til they're ready to use it or something that doesn't need to be refrigerated, like a cake or other baked good. Sorry to hear about your friend's dad.

hawkilady

While I like the above suggestions -- I would send a plant rather than flowers unless you know the person is bad with plants.  People get so many flower arrangements after a death and they are all dead in a week.  If you send a plant, she will continue to have it for potentially years.  I still have several plants (there were a few types in one planter that I've transplanted as they grew) from my grandma's funeral almost 6 years ago and I still think they are special.

vhcoleman09

hawkilady:

While I like the above suggestions -- I would send a plant rather than flowers unless you know the person is bad with plants.  People get so many flower arrangements after a death and they are all dead in a week.  If you send a plant, she will continue to have it for potentially years.  I still have several plants (there were a few types in one planter that I've transplanted as they grew) from my grandma's funeral almost 6 years ago and I still think they are special.

I agree completely. I still have a plant from my grandmother's funeral, also 6 years ago in March, and I love that it's still around to remind me of her.