advice needed...tmi

vandm1107

I'm coming to you guys from the bump for advice... I don't quite know where to begin...I simply hate being on top during sex. DH and I have been married for a year and I think I've been on top twice, and both times I've had to hold back tears. I'm not self concious about my body at all but when I am on top I feel stupid and I just don't exactly know what tp do. In mt entire sexual history I've been on top only a handful of times. I can only orgasm in missionary as well. So I guess I'm asking for advice, tips, input, ect.... Thanks in advance....

heikem87

May I ask why you feel stupid on top? Does DH know that you are so uncomfortable with this position?  I dont really know what advice to give you since with my DH it is excactly the opposite. He?s been on top maybe twice because he just loves me doing all the work lol

pastrypuff9000

May I suggest having him sit up and face you?  Is he just laying there gawking at you while you bounce around?  That would make me uncomfortable.  

Bottom line:  if it really upsets you, don't do it.   

lifeguard

  Love being on top. It's the only way I can get a vaginal orgasm. 

dirtyred

Being on top doesn't do much for me (I think I'm in the minority on that one) but I do it for my H.

There are a couple of ways to move.  You can sit there and do pelvic thrusts--arch your back to push your butt backwards, then tuck it forward.  I have trouble trying to do this--I just can't get the rhythm right.

 You can do the up and down thing.  Lean forward and support yourself on your hands or forearms and move up and down, or you can lay on your H (like missionary) and push with your feet/pull with your arms to get motion.  For me, this is the best for clitoral stimulation.

So you can try those if you want to, but ultimately, if it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to do it.

mlee116

pastrypuff9000:

May I suggest having him sit up and face you?  Is he just laying there gawking at you while you bounce around?  That would make me uncomfortable.  

Bottom line:  if it really upsets you, don't do it.   

This.  Try doing it while he's sitting in a chair or on the couch or even propped up on pillows.  It can help you feel less "exposed" and he's able to help a little more than he can if he's on his back.  Actually, having sex this way can be really nice because you can hold onto another and either thrust or gently rock back and forth.

But if it makes you totally uncomfortable, don't do it. 

iteachkids81

talk to him. tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If its something you want to "get over" I think the only thing is more practice doing it to make you figure out how it works. Is it that you feel like you are "doing it wrong"? Because you are in control, you can move the way you want to move. My H sometimes grabs my hips and helps move me to suit his desired pace. Does your H do that? Does it bother you because you feel like you aren't doing it the way he likes? I think the only solution to all of it is to just talk to him, tell him how you feel. Ask for his opinion/advce/reassurance, and go from there. 

Good luck.  

lifeguard

Have you been brainwashed into be submissive and be on the bottom or something?

Fluffernut

I prefer to lay on my boyfriend rather than sit upright on him.  I agree it's awkward for me to sit in a cowgirl sort of position.  I do find that it helps if I have him guide my hips if I'm sitting on him though.  It makes me feel less awkward.  Bottom line, though, don't do anything you're not comfortable with.  And talk to your partner about your concerns.  Good luck!