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How to say "Thank You"?
Lately I've been really noticing (more than normal) how much J does for me. He puts up with so much. Here's the breakdown:
J works M, W, F for MIL from 8:30am to 7:00pm, then comes home and helps around the house and takes care of me when I need. On Tues and Thur, he wakes up at 4:15 to catch the 6am BART to SF to go to school. He goes straight from school to work and works from approximately 12:30-1pm to 7:00pm again for MIL, then comes home and again helps me and does household chores as well (I would, but I get winded really easily these days, but I do some as well). He's also the president of the local business association (goes to weekly meetings and events), and an ambassador for the Richmond Chamber of Commerce (goes to meetings and events).
On top of that, he always makes an effort to ask me what my glucose levels are throughout the day (I have GD) and make sure I record my blood pressure readings at night and take my meds (even though I already do). Now we found out yesterday that the baby is breech and I can tell he's concerned, but optimistic that all will work out.
The baby will be born around the tax deadline which is when he's needed most at work. Right after that is Easter (both families wanting to see the baby), then Mother's Day (my first so he wants to make big plans) and then finals at school and our 4th wedding anniversary...all with a newborn.
Oh and did I mention I've been a teary mess from preggo hormones almost every night this week?
He does all this without complaint. He's always calm, always understanding and doesn't freak out. He's so mellow and takes everything in stride. I've always known he deals with a lot, but now I see the small complications with this pregnancy piling even more onto him, and he still is taking everything as it comes. He's truly a saint.
So, I want to do something really nice for him as a thank you for dealing with all that he does, but I'm not sure what. He'll usually ask for movies or video games, but I always get those for him during Christmas and birthdays. He's seeing Rammstein in May with a buddy which was my anniversary gift to him (the concert is the day before), but I feel I owe him so much. What would be something you'd suggest to thank him? I know there's always lingerie and BJs as demonstrated by another post yesterday (or the day before), but I would want this to be something a little different than that. Any suggestions?
Re: How to say "Thank You"?
A baby?
T-shirts/mugs and stuff that say "World's best Dad"
A heart felt card detailing how much you appreciate everything
Honestly, I think it really depends on the person. There definitely is a lot of generic thank you stuff you can do, but when I really want to thank someone and make a big impact I try to tailor it to what THEY would be stoked about.
I guess I usually try to consider what the person loves to do and what the person hates to do. While you can always buy them something that supports/assists them in doing something they love to do, I usually prefer to give them some sort of positive experience while removing any negatives. Give them what they love and absolve them of any tasks they hate.
For DH, this usually means I plan a day/night for him to do the things he loves to do without anything to detract from it. I take care of any details I can think of to make it more enjoyable (making him comfy, well-fed, catering to him, etc). I handle anything that isn't fun that would normally fall on him to handle. Not just chores, but maybe something bigger that is coming up that would be a relief for him not to have to deal with. Something to that effect. Just aim to make his life better or easier in some way, since that is what he essentially has been doing for you.
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It sounds to me like he is being a fantastic partner.
I would make sure he knew how much I appreciated it, either by telling him A LOT or by writing a nice card.
I don't know that a steak dinner, a BJ or a new video game covers stuff like that. To me, what you describe is a wonderful marriage. Aside from letting him know, on a regular basis, how wonderful I think he is and how much I appreciate him, I'd just work on being the best partner I could be. Maybe that means that when you can, you do some nice things for him. Maybe it means that if you start noticing him becoming overwhelmed, you advocate for him to take a break ... even if it means scheduling something for him.
And ask him to write a husband manifesto, please. I think there are some lessons that can be learned here!
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His first class is at 8, so it takes him approx an hour and a half (maybe more) to get there by BART (from Richmond to the Daly City station) and then he has to wait for the shuttle from the BART station to campus.
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Well Mrs C just gave you the perfect Thank You ;-)
But seriously, I think the suggestion of giving him some time off is the best, and making sure that you tell him regularly how much you appreciate what he's doing.
You've giving him a baby, and he probably doesn't need "stuff," but knowing that you realize how much he's doing and how excited you are to start this next chapter of your lives, etc, and how much you want to see him be a dad...that's what I'd do.