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IOH of the engagement ring post...

...tell me about how you and your DH decided to get engaged This isn't your proposal story, but the actually how you decided. Was it a total surpise? A long conversation? A spontaneous afternoon?

Our story:

Keep in mind, please, that we work so well because I'm an alpha and DH is a beta. My best friend had just gotten engaged and I had just gotten in to grad school in another state. One night we were discussing the future and my 22 year old self covered my head with a blanket [my 32 year old self is SO embarassed by that part, but it's true!] and said, "Look, I'd like for you to come to [grad school state] with me, but I'd like us to be married first." DH oh-so-romantically said, "That doesn't sound so bad!" I left it at that because I wanted him to make the next move to be sure I wasn't pushing him in to anything since I was his first girlfriend ever (he's really quiet and pretty shy, for the most part, though those of you who have seen him tipsy would never attest to that :) .)

A couple of months later, we were at the mall and passed a jewelry store and he said, "So, do you want to go look at rings in there?" I didn't know if he was serious so I didn't want to look like a jerk if it was a joke, and my heart was pounding so much that I was sweating, plus, it was a really sh!tty jewelry store, so I said, "Nah, I'm good." I was kicking myself for the next hour. Finally, when we got in the car, I said, "Were you serious about looking at rings?" He said "yes", so I said, "Well then let's go to XYZ [the good jewelry store in town.]" Inside, I was thinking "Oh My God! This is really it!"  We went and my hand was shaking so badly that the counter person was making fun of me.

That's how we decided :)

Re: IOH of the engagement ring post...

  • Well, we were together a long time. I hesitate to call it dating, really, because we went from hanging out with a group a couple of times (mainly his fraternity people) to together pretty much overnight. 

    For the longest time, neither of us wanted to get married. We didn't ever want to live with someone before marriage, either. But, we were young and foolish. As H graduated from college, and I neared my own graduation, we starting kind of talking about a future together. We avoided the "where are we going" type discussions...or as we call them, The State of the Relationship, as usually someone gets hurt by expectations, or lack of them.

    It was decided that we would move in together, and see how it would go. H's parents were all for it. I'm pretty sure they figured if it was a step we needed in order to decide for sure to get married, they would support it. Only my dad was supportive on my end, but there were always some things he was more progressive on than others in my family.

    When we moved in together, it was weird; it felt like nothing had changed. It felt like that was the way things had always been. We didn't struggle with cleaning rules, and we each had our own bathroom (ha) so there weren't many battles, really. We started talking marriage not long after, and H was concerned that when he started law school, I wouldn't be able to handle all the alone time I would have, since he was an evening student.

    Turns out, I do quite well with a lot of alone time. I told him that, but he was unconvinced. In fact, I'm pretty sure our relationship prospered by all that time apart. We began talking more seriously...I began getting impatient.

    My dad fell very ill that year before H started law school (this was after I found that ring in the post below, and H already had it). We weren't sure he was going to make it. His poor body had already been through so much, so we didn't have high hopes. He made it, though. H made a decision to bump up his proposal to the summer instead of Christmas (that was very sweet...the Christmas proposal would have been so romantic, too, though) so that we could get planning and so that my dad could be there. He knew my dad meant a lot to me.

    And that's the story of how we decided to get married, pretty much. It is possible that if we hadn't met, we might still not be married to anyone else. And no, my dad still didn't get to make it to my wedding...but the thoughtfulness H displayed was unlike any he had ever shown before, solidifying my decision to be with him. 

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  • DH and I met in May, talked on the phone for about a month and a half (we lived in different states), and began dating in July after he flew me out to visit him.  On the day I was supposed to return home, right before he took me to the airport, he joked to his brother (in front of me) that we were going to the courthouse to get married so I didn't have to go home.  When we got in the car to the drive to the airport, I asked him if he was serious, and he said he wanted to marry me.  We didn't actually drive to the courthouse (we were both too scared to actually do it), but he told his parents next week that we were going to get married.  He got my grandmother's diamond ring from my mom in September, refashioned it, and we were engaged in November (he was trying to wait for Christmas but couldn't), married the following May.

  • DH and I met in 2004 and we started out as just friends. His cousin and I were HS friends, then college roommates, and we continued to live together after graduation which is how I met H. In the beginning we only saw each other when I went to his family functions (his cousin became like a sister to me so I became very close to their family) and DH actually had a girlfriend when I first met him. Once they broke up he started spending more time with his family, and we started inviting him along when we (a group of his cousins who I've known since HS and I) would hang out together. From the beginning there was something about him that was very appealing to me....as time went on we were around each other more and more, and eventually we started hanging out on our own together instead of with the group.

    We never really had a discussion about whether or not we were more than friends, it just sort of happened and in 2006 we started dating. We talked about the future, how many kids we wanted, where we wanted to live, etc. and we talked about the fact that we didn't want to live together before getting married.

    We never had a "let's get engaged" talk, but we both knew we wanted to be together and we'd talked about that. DH proposed in 2008 and I was shocked!! I'm actually really glad we didn't have a discussion about it beforehand, I love that I was so surprised when he proposed.
  • I knew from the first date that I would marry that man.  About 6 months after we started dating I picked out a day and texted my then boyfriend and said "what are you doing on March 15, 2008?"  (Keep in mind, at the time that was still two years away).  He said "nothing that I know of, why?"  I said b/c that's the day we are going to get married!  He proposed a year later and we were married on March 15th, 2008.

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  • Within the first few weeks of dating, we both knew. It just felt right.

    We went looking at rings a month after we started dating. However, we didn't actually get engaged for another eight months--didn't want anyone to think we were crazy. :)

    Books read in 2012: 49
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    Katie (gingerfeathers)'s book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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  • I met Dh while we were in school but we didn't start daing until four years after that.  According to his family and friends, he had always told them that I was his future wife.  I actually ended up engaged to someone else but he was hopeful it wouldn't work out. It didnt.  A few months after the broken engagement, DH started popping up everywhere and was always asking me to hang out. I didn't really have anything else better to do, so we hung out a lot and we ended up becoming really great friends.  It got to where we were dating - we started making plans months in advance and had a "set" Friday night date - but we weren't kissing. Ha.

    New Year's Eve rolled around and of course we went out together and kissed at midnight and it was like BAM.  I was still a bit hesitant about any sort of relationship after the unengagement - I just really wanted to get myself figured out before I got into another relationship but I knew that Dh and I had something really special.

    A few weeks later he came to my house and said we needed to talk. He said he was in love with me and knew I was The One but knew that I was a little tentative about getting into anything serious.  He said that he received a text from a girl he had a one night stand with 10 months earlier and she had a baby she thought was his.  I was...shocked.  He was sobbing his little heart out and said that he was so sorry, he never wanted to hurt me, he didn't know what to do but that it was important to him that we figured it out together.  I knew then he was The One because there wasn't one ounce of me that was like "Hells no, I don't want to deal with this crap." (that came later, ha ha ha) 

    We were married six months later. 

    And had security at our wedding because BM kept threatening to show and up create a scene.

    So that's my white trash love story.  Surprise

  • Our story:

    DH moved to my hometown right after HS. His dad was transferred down there for work and they told DH that if he moved down there with them they would pay for his college. We met on the second day of school. I did see him the first day in my math class but we didn't talk.

    Second day was computer class in the library. We were both early and the teacher wasn't there yet. I was the first to talk to him. We saw eachother everyday through our classes and slowly started talking more and more. He would walk me to my car after class(very sweet!) and would stand there and talk. Finally, after class one day he asked me for my number. (A little back story: Not my proudest moment, but when DH and I met I was still had a bf who was in the coast gaurd. To make it worse he is my brothers' best friend) We went on the worst date in all of history.

    I kept on trying to figure out if I wanted to go out since I still had a bf. I really like DH, but obviously I felt really guilty. Finally, after the 3rd time cancelling on him we ended up going to a movie. We saw Cabin Fever (don't ask me why we picked that out). On the way home we didn't saw as much as 2 words to eachother. Just bad.

    I was really surprised when he called me the next day. I had called current bf and broke it off. So, we decided to try it again. It went so much better and we hung out until about 2 that morning. After that we started skipping our classes to spend time together before we had to go to work (we were very immature!).

    We both fell really hard and fast for eachother and started talking about marriage, future, kids, ect. I knew that there was not a way to make a great living where I grew up so DH and I talked about moving away. After he graduated a job offer was made to him, but the job was in the DFW area. We decided that he would accpet the job and we will get married 6 months later. We sat down with my parents and talk to them. That was one of the hardest things I've done. They knew I loved DH deeply and would follow him where ever, but they were really sad that I was moving such a long way from home.

    Around Christmas we went and looked at rings. Since we were both working PT we knew we had limited choices in rings. Honestly, I didn't care what my ring cost or looked like. I did end up finding a ring that I loved. It was simple and I really liked that. Although there was always the understanding that there would be a size upgrade when we could afford it. Wink

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Anniversary
  • DH and I are an eHarmony couple so the marriage talk was almost immediate. We were matched March 8th, 2009; first date was a week later. I knew during our first phone conversation (that lasted 6 1/2 hours) that if there was chemistry between us I was a goner. And there was... So I was. :)  I went out of town for work for 3 weeks, which forced more phone time... We had both pretty much figured out at that point that we would end up getting married. He asked my parents permission on Mother's Day, I got a job in OKC (I was living in Tulsa at the time) and he proposed over the Memorial Day weekend. He spent a month at BC Clark's picking out my ring, so we had really only spent 2 months "together." But we had a 13 month engagement, so it's not like we REALLY jumped into things. ;)

     

    "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than these." - Mark 12:30-31 studiowestway.com facebook.com/studiowestway
  • Very glad I'm not the only one who got engaged fairly quickly!
    Books read in 2012: 49
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    Katie (gingerfeathers)'s book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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  • imagegingerfeathers:
    Very glad I'm not the only one who got engaged fairly quickly!

    I was always told when you know you know and I never understood that until...I knew!  Surprise

  • We'd been broken up a year and a couple of months.  I was dating someone else.  He called me and said that he wanted to stop by--I hadn't seen him since we broke up.  He ended up coming over that night, I broke up with my boyfriend, and he and I were pretty much inseparable after that.  We knew that we wanted to get married and immediately started looking at rings the next week or so.  We got engaged 1 month later, and got married 6 months after that.

    My parents were PISSED.  They thought it was way too fast and that H wasn't good for me.  We'd been off and on in high school and had our issues.  They were right.  Our first year sucked.  After extensive counseling, we changed into people that were actually perfect for each other.  Thank God.  We are for real like peas and carrots, yo.

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  • imageBoyMom21:

    We'd been broken up a year and a couple of months.  I was dating someone else.  He called me and said that he wanted to stop by--I hadn't seen him since we broke up.  He ended up coming over that night, I broke up with my boyfriend, and he and I were pretty much inseparable after that.  We knew that we wanted to get married and immediately started looking at rings the next week or so.  We got engaged 1 month later, and got married 6 months after that.

    My parents were PISSED.  They thought it was way too fast and that H wasn't good for me.  We'd been off and on in high school and had our issues.  They were right.  Our first year sucked.  After extensive counseling, we changed into people that were actually perfect for each other.  Thank God.  We are for real like peas and carrots, yo.

    I'm so glad it worked out for you!  It's nice to hear a success story, so many people just give up.   


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  • H and I dated for about a year and a half before breaking up. He was recently divorced and had a little girl, and wasn't ready to talk marriage; I was in my twenties, single, and madly in love. So, yeah. He broke up with me, and I tried really hard to hate him.

    Fast forward nine or ten months (the most depressing nine or ten months of my life). H and I started talking again, and he wanted to get back together. Initially, I was going to put him through all sorts of stuff like waiting three months before we dated again, etc. When we broke up, I told H not to even THINK about contacting me to meet up again unless he was really to talk marriage. So, it took quite a bit of trust building on his part, but we got back together and started thinking about getting engaged. We went through some couples counseling so H could be sure he wanted to jump back in to marriage, and so I could learn how to trust H again. Everything went really well.

    I had always been terrified of marriage. I felt 100% sure about H when I realized that even though he had a scary ex-wife and a little girl, I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else. We got engaged during a trip to Estes Park, CO in June, and got married in October. <3


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