Vacationing with other families?

ATSBRIDE

What are your thoughts? Friends of ours asked us last year to do a family vacation with them..we were going to Sicily so declined..but truthfully I have no interest in vacationing with other families...day trips are ok, but not week long vacations.

They asked us again and I told them that it wasn't personal but I wasn't big on vacationing with others. I suggested a day trip and whatnot. I know she took it the wrong way but whatever. It has nothing to do with them. I just like doing things on our schedule.

 

N&V0514

I love vacationing w/ other families.  The kids can play and then the parents can hang out.  It's the best when the kids go to bed and we can all hang out and have some cocktails.  I guess it depends on the friends so I wouldn't go if we didn't have fun on a ramdon saturday night at eachother's house.

debfife

Depends where. I wouldnt' want to do a disney type vacation w/another family.

Last year we had a shore house. Gillian and Toby came down part of the time, another family, 2 adults, 2 kids came down for part of it, some of it over lapping. It was great. Being with other families/kids gave the adults a lot of adult time and the kids entertained each other. It was so easy.

AmyRob04

There are not many people I can vacation with. Our best friends - yeah totally, we vacation with them every year, and have since before we were married. We went to Puerto Rico last year with our other set of very close friends - our kid and their three are like siblings, the four of them together, so it's awesome. But, we actually pulled out of our OBX trips, which we loved, because we cannot stand the parenting skills of one of the couples. They're screamers, and it's stressful.

Apr06

We went away last summer to LBI with my brother and his wife, my cousin and his family and my SIL's brothers family.  I know we are all related in some way but I didnt know my SIL's brothers family too well.

It wasn't bad at all.  We had a big house, 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms a block and a half away from the beach.  We made sure we had privacy and each family had a bathroom.  My bro used mine.  We all did the beach most days and still were on our own nap schedules or what not. We came and went how we wanted.  We did most things at night together except a couple times when we didnt have any plans and we just did our own thing or with my cousin and his family.  I would definately do it again.

HarrietNJMommy

I think it's a nice idea if you have the personality type to do it. Some people just can't vacation together. It can make or break a friendship.

I think it's harder with small kids (naps, etc.) but will get easier as they get older.

I wouldn't take it the wrong way if I asked my friend and she didn't want to. 

oct11bride03

HarrietNJMommy:

I think it's a nice idea if you have the personality type to do it. Some people just can't vacation together. It can make or break a friendship.

I think it's harder with small kids (naps, etc.) but will get easier as they get older.

I wouldn't take it the wrong way if I asked my friend and she didn't want to. 

I agree with Harriet. We've never done it but had considered it for this summer with our friends and their two kids but now I don't know if it's going to happen for other reasons. I like the idea of the kids playing together and the parents being able to hang out, which like someone else said probably is easier to do when the kids are older (at least 4). 

wed2506

We did it last year with my best friend and her family, we had a BLAST!  We actually did one week in Myrtle Beach in July and then one week in Disney in December.  We have been friends for 20+ years and our husbands get along really well...our girls are also best friends.  We just booked our vacation for this year with them, can't wait!  I agree though, it's not for everyone.

ATSBRIDE

oct11bride03:

HarrietNJMommy:

I think it's a nice idea if you have the personality type to do it. Some people just can't vacation together. It can make or break a friendship.

I think it's harder with small kids (naps, etc.) but will get easier as they get older.

I wouldn't take it the wrong way if I asked my friend and she didn't want to. 

I agree with Harriet. We've never done it but had considered it for this summer with our friends and their two kids but now I don't know if it's going to happen for other reasons. I like the idea of the kids playing together and the parents being able to hang out, which like someone else said probably is easier to do when the kids are older (at least 4). 

Their kids are 2 1/2 and 18 months .. and they are 'high strung' parents..love them as adults..but as parents they make me nervous, lol. I can't see spending a week with them.

I could do a week w/ my brother and his kids or with my other 2 girlfriends and their kids..but again the kids are a bit older. I guess then if they were a little older it may not be as tough 

Andrea0429

We were going to vacation with another family last year, but the timing just didn't work out.  I'd still be up for it again, if we can make it work.  We go visit them every once in awhile and stay the whole weekend, so I feel like it would just be an extension of that.  We'd each need to have our own cars though so we could come and go and we please.  I don't feel like we'd have to do everything together everyday.  I also don't think there would be a lot of families we could do this with, but we gel very well with this one.

MrsDB

it depends. if it's a mountain or beach vacation where the main purpose is just kicking back and relaxing- yes. it'd be fun. especially if the kids are young and we'd all be stuck at the house for naps and decent bedtimes. If it's a disney vacation, or somewhere exotic where we will want to explore and do things, then no way. i want to do what i want to do, not what anyone else wants to do. i'd just want to make the most of the limited time to see everything important to me, and not miss a chance to zipline through the rain forest because someone else wanted to go on a nature walk. 

AmyRob04

MrsDB:

it depends. if it's a mountain or beach vacation where the main purpose is just kicking back and relaxing- yes. it'd be fun. especially if the kids are young and we'd all be stuck at the house for naps and decent bedtimes. If it's a disney vacation, or somewhere exotic where we will want to explore and do things, then no way. i want to do what i want to do, not what anyone else wants to do. i'd just want to make the most of the limited time to see everything important to me, and not miss a chance to zipline through the rain forest because someone else wanted to go on a nature walk. 

But why would you have to miss it? There have to be parameters set up - if you have different tastes, it has to be understood that IT'S OKAY for you guys to do other stuff. We've done at least a dozen vacations with others and we are rarely together all day every day. We went to PR last year - some days yeah, we were all together, but other days we wanted to go to the beach and they wanted to go to the water slides, or we wanted one thing for dinner and they wanted another. We were all comfortable doing our own things and then just regrouping later. It's really not a big deal if you have the discussion first.

Liz051405

Depends on the vacation and the family. We have vacationed with my sister and my parents. And we plan to cruise with some friends of ours when the kids are a little older.

It works out well when the adults are willing to take turns watching each other's kids or when the vacation is something where sometimes you can divide up.

ghl

It really depends on the dynamic you have with the other family and the kind of trip. We've enjoyed vacationing with friends. We used to go camping with a big group of friends every year, we've cruised with several single friends while we had A, and we're looking at a beach house rental and other trips with friends w/ kids. The key to most of these trips were that we agreed ahead of time that everyone does their own thing, no pressure to be together the whole time, but there is plenty of tegether time too. It's very flexible and we go with the flow. We typically would plan meals together but sometimes we do stuff together, sometimes on our own. We split off in different ways too so that sometimes I'm with DH, sometimes w/ one friend, sometimes with another depending on who wants to get dessert, or who wants to head to the pool, or just stay in, etc. No pressure on anyone and we pick places where we can make sure that everyone has some space to themselves, not a bunch of us crammed into 1 hotel room. It's great when the kids can play together and all the adults can have some time to just be adults instead of being full-time entertainment for our kids. I might not do it for an itinerary intensive trip like disney or touring europe unless we were in agreement about the itinerary ahead of time and agreed to maintain the same laid back do what you want, we'll do what we want, and if it matches up, cool, if it doesn't, cool.  

GilliMax

Liz051405:

Depends on the vacation and the family.

Like Deb said, it was great having the kids there to entertain each other which gave the adults plenty of time to kick back. We had so much fun! There are some vacations that it just isn't conducive to do this. I agree, Disney is something I just don't WANT to do with another family. I also don't know if I'd want to travel internationally with another family. By the same token, there are some of my friends, I know I just couldn't travel with. It has nothing to do with who wants to do what-- it's understood that we're not all joined at the hip-- but more, some people do not understand what it means to travel with other people, lol.

mike&nicole05

We have for the past two years.  The first year it was us and my best friends family. Last year we added two more families.  We go to the outter banks. It was fine.  All the kids got along great and played with each other.  We are talking 8 adults and 8 children. We are going again this year with the same group. The only problem we had was food.  The two other girls offered to cook dinner every night but then they got sick of being in the kitchen while everyone was still at the beach.  So this year we are going to have to rearrange things for meals at her meeting we have before hand.  I think it really depends on the families who are going and if you get along.

tpquinn72

AmyRob04:

MrsDB:

it depends. if it's a mountain or beach vacation where the main purpose is just kicking back and relaxing- yes. it'd be fun. especially if the kids are young and we'd all be stuck at the house for naps and decent bedtimes. If it's a disney vacation, or somewhere exotic where we will want to explore and do things, then no way. i want to do what i want to do, not what anyone else wants to do. i'd just want to make the most of the limited time to see everything important to me, and not miss a chance to zipline through the rain forest because someone else wanted to go on a nature walk. 

But why would you have to miss it? There have to be parameters set up - if you have different tastes, it has to be understood that IT'S OKAY for you guys to do other stuff. We've done at least a dozen vacations with others and we are rarely together all day every day. We went to PR last year - some days yeah, we were all together, but other days we wanted to go to the beach and they wanted to go to the water slides, or we wanted one thing for dinner and they wanted another. We were all comfortable doing our own things and then just regrouping later. It's really not a big deal if you have the discussion first.

 

I agree with amyrob.  Before I met Rob I went on a European trip with two other friends.  There were things they wanted to do that I didn't want to and vice versa.  So, sometimes we just did our own thing. 

The same thing when Rob and I went to Ireland with his brother and sil.  Sometimes we just did our own thing and met up later.  It's really not a big deal.

debfife

I also agree that you need to have kind of similar parenting styles for it to work. Gillian & our other friends are all pretty laid back. I know I could never do it w/my BFF, she's a yeller.

ATSBRIDE

tpquinn72:

AmyRob04:

MrsDB:

it depends. if it's a mountain or beach vacation where the main purpose is just kicking back and relaxing- yes. it'd be fun. especially if the kids are young and we'd all be stuck at the house for naps and decent bedtimes. If it's a disney vacation, or somewhere exotic where we will want to explore and do things, then no way. i want to do what i want to do, not what anyone else wants to do. i'd just want to make the most of the limited time to see everything important to me, and not miss a chance to zipline through the rain forest because someone else wanted to go on a nature walk. 

But why would you have to miss it? There have to be parameters set up - if you have different tastes, it has to be understood that IT'S OKAY for you guys to do other stuff. We've done at least a dozen vacations with others and we are rarely together all day every day. We went to PR last year - some days yeah, we were all together, but other days we wanted to go to the beach and they wanted to go to the water slides, or we wanted one thing for dinner and they wanted another. We were all comfortable doing our own things and then just regrouping later. It's really not a big deal if you have the discussion first.

 

I agree with amyrob.  Before I met Rob I went on a European trip with two other friends.  There were things they wanted to do that I didn't want to and vice versa.  So, sometimes we just did our own thing. 

The same thing when Rob and I went to Ireland with his brother and sil.  Sometimes we just did our own thing and met up later.  It's really not a big deal.

If it was just Alex & I that's a different story. We've done weekends with friends and no kids and have had no issues. Factor in kids and parenting styles and its a crap shoot. 

kellyann1972

yes many times. We just went away with Cara's family and it was nice, kids had a blast, we could divide and conquer so everyone got a rest and the grown up had good company. We set it up as, lets make a plan but if you need time away or family time just give a heads up.

 

BeachBaby07

mike&nicole05:

We have for the past two years.  The first year it was us and my best friends family. Last year we added two more families.  We go to the outter banks. It was fine.  All the kids got along great and played with each other.  We are talking 8 adults and 8 children. We are going again this year with the same group. The only problem we had was food.  The two other girls offered to cook dinner every night but then they got sick of being in the kitchen while everyone was still at the beach.  So this year we are going to have to rearrange things for meals at her meeting we have before hand.  I think it really depends on the families who are going and if you get along.

We have a giant family trip and we each take turns cooking or being responsible for dinner. We have 10 adults 6 kids. It has gotten fun in the past because we try to pick themes like Mexican and Camping. We do pizza the first night, someone always does Southern BBQ take out instead of cooking, and the parents of the kids go out alone one night. Then it isnt so bad because we divide it up and each couple only misses one afternoon on the beach.

 

Shoegal23

We do a shore rental every year w our friends. We love it! Kids play together all day, they pass out by 8 and it's cocktail city on the deck looking at the ocean all night! It can get tricky, ie- their daughter wakes up at the ass crack of dawn where our kids sleep till after 9, so that's annoying. But the pros outweigh the cons. We did 3 families for 3 weeks the year before- it was awesome!! But I guess we also do adults only vacays w them as well.

tara07733

I've haven't vacationsd with friend's families but I have gone on vacations with like 30 family members and it worked out great. I like that there were other kids who Evan knew to him to play with. Also if there was a event that I didn't want to attend MH has someone else to go with and I don't have to feel guilty. I think I like going away with others more than just us.

Lisa07033

We did it once and everything you said is true.  I would not do it again. Doing things on your own schedule. Doing what you want to do when you want to do it. Not waiting for them if they are not ready on time etc.

melbride2005

I have no problem with it.  It all depends on the people involved.

knittygrl

DH was always really against this.  He likes to travel just with us and the kids because he likes to "get away" and do our own thing.  However this summer when we went to Cape May my BF and her husband and son were there the same week staying in the same condo complex.  We didn't really plan it that way but it sort of just worked out.  We had such a great time with them and there was never any pressure to do things together but we spent every day on the beach and did our own things if we wanted to.  Plus they watched our daughter one night so we could go out for a nice dinner and we did the same for them one night.  It was tons of fun and we wanted to do it again this summer but they can't make it the week we are going and they are bummed too.  We are going to try for the following summer and try to do it as much as we can for that kind of a trip.  But not for a trip that is organized like Disney or a touristy spot, for that we'd like to be alone.

Mrs.TheresaT

When I was younger, my mom and I always went away w/ my aunt and my cousin, and bunch of times the grandmom's came too. To the shore, to Disney, Bahamas, etc. I've cruised with a big group of family and friends several times. It's always been great. We're talking about a shore house with some cousins and their kids too. It definitely depends on who you go with and maybe where you're going but as long as expectations are clear, I think it's okay.

Our one friends, when we were in Mexico, were walking w/ a group of us to get a cab to the beach...and all of a sudden, they were gone. Turns out, they just stayed at the port, shopped and went back to the ship. If they didnt want to come w/ us, they shouldve just said it, it wouldnt have bothered us! But I guess they felt weird for wanting some alone time. We had probably the most fun that day and I felt bad that they missed it but it was their choice, it didnt bother me.