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WWYD: Letter from my Mom RE: My property in her house
My Mom sent EXH and I the following letter:
"As you are aware, you have property that has been stored in my home and garage for many years. I want to notify you that you have until Friday, May 25th to remove those items. If you choose not to retrieve the items, then after May 25th it will become my property to do wtih as I please.
Please note, I do not want anyone except you and EXH to be on my property and in my home if you choose to retrieve this property. You must notify me in advance to coordinate a day and time that is convenient for me to be present. No one is permitted in my home without my knowledge or without me being present.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Mom"
What gets me the most is the formality of this nonsense and then she signs it "Mom." Really?
The only valuable items at her house that I would want back are my kids' baby clothes and porcelin dolls that I was saving for DD. Do you think it is worth it for me to even retrieve this stuff or just cut my losses and avoid this crazy woman altogether?
EXH is going there - he has a lot of his tools and other things there, but he said he is only getting his stuff and leaving everything else.
Re: WWYD: Letter from my Mom RE: My property in her house
I can see why she would want to be there when you XH comes but I can't imagine my parents telling me they didn't want me in their house without them being there to supervise.
At anyrate if there isn't anything that you really want/need I would just tell her the stuff is hers go ahead and do with it as she pleases.
My childhood items, like porcelin dolls, have always been in her house. When I moved out, EXH and I moved into a very small home and my Mom lives alone in a 2,600 sq ft house. She told me I could keep anything I wanted in her basement. So, I left my childhood items there, since I wouldn't need them.
Other things, like my EXH's tools and whatnot have been there about a year. She has never expressed an issue with our "property" being in her home until now.
Do you have a key to your mom's house? If you do, I'd just let myself in on a day you know she wouldn't be around and take my own stuff.
If not, send a certified letter stating that you would like to collect your things on X, Y, or Z day. If I were you, I'd go on the same day as EX, even if you don't like one another, because you can be a witness to any thing she tries to pull (or say) after the fact. Also, your mom is clearly crazy and I would be a little afraid that she'd try to do physical harm to you.
I don't think its unreasonable for her to not allow you to use her house as a storage place. You and EX are presumably adults, and can hold your own stuff - either where you live or in a storage facility. I would never consider leaving my posessions at the house of someone I didn't like (as you have clearly stated, even though you may be justified in your feelikngs). It wouldn't matter if they gave birth to me or not.
I don't know, but she's been like this all her life. I'm really stressed about this. What kind of mother would do this to her child? First of all, take me to court for visitation of my children, and now tell me she's gong to get rid of my stuff (including childhood mementos) if I don't remove it from her "property" by a certain date?
This. Notify her in writing when you'll be there to get your things. Arrange for a police officer to be there because you need to protect yourself. Your mom sounds BSC. I don't know that you need to take absolutely everything. Take what you want and let her get rid of the rest of it.
1. I would not go and retrieve these items. She is looking for a wait to 'bait' you.
2. If you insist on getting these items DO NOT GO WITHOUT A POLICE ESCORT.
DO NOT GO BACK THERE. DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING OR ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM HER. Seriously, it would probably cost you more in legal fees (+your sanity) than the value (both sentimental value and dollar value) of the items that you would take for whatever nonsense she could potentially try to start with you. Those items are not worth the headache it would cause you and/or your kids. Please do not go back there and do not take anything or accept anything from her. Please.
She has never sais anything about this before.
((Hugs)), I am sorry that this is your mom behaving this way towards you.
If it was me, I probably cut my losses but this is coming from someone who had lost everything a few times in life and had to start over with new things.
Any mother who badmouths their daughter to other family members, and is trying to maniupulate them (and the courts) into thinking she's an unfit mother is BSC in my eyes. And the fact her son (OP's brother) has already disowned her? Pretty sure there's a valid reason for that.
I'm sorry your mom had been doing all this to you (I've seen some of your previous posts). She is trying to manipulate you and control you in any way that she can since her previous attempts have failed. As the saying goes, you can't control her, only how you react to her. Honestly, I believe there are times to just cut your losses and this might be one of them. Let you exH get his stuff and ignore her. If she makes further threats to throw it out (because you know she won't just do it without trying to incite you further) simply tell her you won't be needing any of it and she can do with it what she wishes.