Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Husband 'sexting' with my matron of honor...
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this - I apologize if it's not. I've seen so many of these articles online, I almost feel like it's pointless to post mine. We got married at the end of April, April 28th. Had a great wedding day.. then totally unexpectedly his mom passed away 2 days after the wedding, on the 30th. As you can imagine, it's been a whirlwind.. we have been dealing with all that stuff since then. He was her only child, no other relatives or anything. We now have a second home that, unknown to us, had a mortgage on it. But that's another story.
I borrowed his phone yesterday to send a text. He was extremely anxious about lending me the phone, which raised a major red flag for me. He was only ever this nervous a few days before when I was using it which already, a flag, but I let it go at the time. This time I look into the texts and there's my matron of honor texting him all kinds of naughty stuff.. and him texting her about how he cant wait to hook up with her, can't wait to get her over to his mother's house because they 'won't get caught there', and she's sending him pictures of herself, etc. I was so disgusted. I am still so disgusted. His phone auto deletes texts after 200 texts so I could only see so much but the first one I saw was already talking like 'hey baby' etc. She works at my office, I gave her a part time job there and she answers the phones. She transferred a call from him to me yesterday and I could see their conversation, him saying how she sounded so sexy on the phone and her saying she was so flustered by his call that she messed up the phone transfer (which she did.. I remembered it afterwards it went to another line before mine). I'm so disgusted. I don't know wtf to do. I confronted her of course, she said she was just stringing him along, wanting to see how far he would go, wanting to 'protect me' and that her husband knew she was sending him messages. I confronted her husband and he said yes and that she's sorry and he's sorry, he knew about it and he's getting her to change her number and basically told me you take care of your family, I'll take care of mine. WTF?! My best friend of 25 years not only thinks its 'protecting me' by telling my husband things like how yummy shes going to taste for him, but her husband is supposedly all right with this whole thing. Today she tries to email me on my work email and being all 'i'm sorry' and everything. I told her husband when I talked to him for her never to contact me via my work email again. I am professional enough that I can go to work everyday. I don't have to be friends with her. Idk wtf I'm supposed to do with my new husband. He's willing to go to counselling. I am in the mode where I want to tell everyone I know and I don't want anyone to know. I want to hit him and I want him to hold me. I am already emotionally drained from a death in the family the past week (apparently they just started this in the past week too, so while I was preparing for and then burying my uncle, they decide this is a good time to start flirting) so I just LACK the emotional strength I need to get through this.. I am sooooooooooooooo confused. I just want to.. I don't know. I didn't get a good night's sleep last night. This is going to sound so cheesy but I had a dream he was holding me and when I woke up and he wasnt (he's confined to the couch) I couldn't go back to sleep even when had like an hour left before the alarm..
Re: Husband 'sexting' with my matron of honor...
My Blog
This! Why are you even confused? Divorce. The end.
you don't have a marriage or a friend- best to make that "legal".
Get transcripts from the phone company and see an attorney asap.
I'm sure your mind is totally blown right now but you can't trust this man. He is a scum bag. Just because he lost his mother doesn't mean you owe him a pass on this.
Be thankful you don't have kids and end this. You deserve better on all fronts.
Can you look into an annulment?
I'm really at a loss for words right now reading your story, I'm so sorry, I cannot imagine how you must feel. My heart was racing just reading it, I got pretty ticked off myself.
Sorry to say this but you need to drop him. You've been married less than 6 months and he's trying to cheat on you already? I understand attempting marriage counseling, I would do it as well. But the outlook doesn't look as cheery as it did on your wedding day, I'm sure.
Please keep us posted on this, and of course we're always here if you need advice.
That's horrible! I'm so sorry, I honestly am not sure what to say but what he and she did was extremely messed up, and I feel bad you have to go through that ):
This. I would definitely try for an annulment since you are newly married.
This.
This makes no damn sense at all. Why does one get the boot and the other get to stay when they both wronged her equally?
Agree 100%.
Remain lucid, you can break down afterwards once you're rid of them.
Get this sham of a marriage annulled.
And see a real estate attorney about the mortaged home --- that might be a big can of worms you're involved in if your name is also on the deed.
Married 4 months and this guy's got his fingers in another pie? Then he was never ready for a one on one lifelong committment. Annullment in a civil court ASAP; this constitutes fraud. GL and sorry for your troubles.
Why is it always the MOH or the sister of the bride?
No one deserves something like this, it's terrible. I'm so trusting that I would probably believe my friend and go to counseling with my husband. However, that's probably not the best solution.
Leaving him will probably be the hardest thing you have ever had to do, but it is probably the right thing. I agree with whoever said stay lucid now, break down later. Gather proof and try to get this thing annulled. Lean on your friends/family and whoever is your support system, and if they aren't what you need, there is no shame in therapy.
All of this. A good man can grieve for the loss of his mother while not betraying his wife.
He's no good. Dump him now.
Dump him, dump and fire her. Get yourself tested just to be sure. I'm sorry you're dealing with this but hopefully you will have actual real friends to lean on while waiting on the divorce papers to be finalized.