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Intro & Question: house vs travel vs babies :)
Hi All!
I'll admit I'm kind of a lurker and post randomly on a variety of boards here 
DH & I have been married 1 year this past October, we've been together for over 7 years. We've already traveled cross country, done Disney by ourselves, have lived together in cities all over the place and we're ready to settle down and buy a house. We've saved a bit, but, with a house I'm sure more is always better. We (more so I) really want to travel Europe before having kids. Hubby seems to want kids right after buying a house. We plan to buy a house in the next 3 months. My friend wants to plan a trip with us to Italy in April. I'm not rich by any means Is this too much of a time crunch?
Would you prefer to travel or buy a house?
What are your to-dos before babies?
Re: Intro & Question: house vs travel vs babies :)
I would definitely rather travel than buy a house. H and I are pretty happy with apartment living--any time something needs fixing, we just call the landlord, and we don't have to do any yard-work or snow shoveling!
We'd like to go lots of places and save up a good chunk of money before we start our adoption process.
H and I bought a house this past May right before we got married (Literally signed the last document on our wedding day), but haven't done much traveling yet. I have been all over California and Oregon (lots of camping), and have also visited Yellowstone, Washington DC, and about 12 states, but have never been out of the country. I can't say that I want to before kids, but in my lifetime I would definitely like to go to Europe.
We are planning on going somewhere fun for our anniversary though, either a cruise or to Washington DC (H has never been there, and really wants to go to the Smithsonian). It just depends on how much money we get from tax returns. This is probably when we will start TTC. I feel like we have done a lot of the things that we wanted to do before kids, and I'm ready to be a mommy.
Personally, I think it would be to much to go on a trip to Italy before buying a house. So, focus on buying a house. It would help the both of you out in the long run. Keep in mind that buying a house and overseas trips may have some unexpected expenses. If you do both around the same time you may put yourselves in over your heads.
As far as your last two question, this is what my DH plan on doing: We plan on buying a house (hopefully by this summer). As far as babies, we are doing the "We aren't really trying, but we aren't preventing either". So if it happens, it happens; if not that is OK too. I do plan on traveling after buying a house, as well as after having children. I told my DH a few years ago, that for my 30 birthday I was going to do a European Cruise with the girls. I have already started saving. That will be in 3 years. So I have time to save. And, if we have a baby by then , my DH knows he will be in charge for about a week. I do believe that you can do it all. Have a house, travel, and have babies. As long as you budget accordingly, and space out the large expenses. Good luck!
Buy house, make sure you can pay for house by living there for a bit, then travel, then babies.
Always travel before babies. Yes, you can do it with them afterward but it's hard. And yes you can leave them with someone and go alone but it's just not the same thing.
DH and I have been married 2 1/2 years (together for almost 5). When we got married we moved into an apartment together, and while we lived there we did a lot of traveling. Then we moved to a condo, and since we were only renting, we did more traveling while we lived there, too. But now we're ready to settle down and buy a house. We're hoping to close sometime in December. We got all of our "serious" trips out of the way when we were renting because owning is so much more time consuming and expensive.
To do's before we have kids: own a home, learn American sign language, have DH finish school, and paying off my car (DH's is already paid off). Those are our top priorities.
Another happy apartment dweller. It is Extreamly nice that if something needs fixing all we do is call. We really want to live in a home but our desire isn't that strong.
I vote travel. Travel and have no regrets. And a home doesn't need to come before a child. Traveling is more difficult with children and the experience is different then being just a couple.
I'm all for traveling as much as you can before you have kids but I would pick a house over travel. DH and I bought a house right before our wedding and we went to Hawaii for our honeymoon. We just managed our money right and were able to do both.
This year DH and I are TTC and we chose renovating our basement over going on vacation.
TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
~Started acupuncture in May 2014~
~~BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
At the moment, I'd rather buy a house (we're in fact supposed to close before Christmas!). But we've already been to 22 foreign countries together. We've been married for 7 years, and been together for almost 12 years. So clearly for a long time we chose travel over a house, and I am so glad we did.
We don't have kids yet. Still on the to do before kids list is a trip to Peru, and climbing Mt. Hood. We plan to go to Peru in April, climb Mt Hood in June, and start TTC sometime shortly after.
I agree with whomever said that you sound like you are rushing through the list of things couples are "supposed to do" after they get married. Seriously, there is no need to rush it. Enjoy not being tied down. Enjoy being just the two of you. You don't need a house to have a baby, and unless you are well into your 30s, there needn't be any rush on having a baby either.
This. I can't agree with this enough.
If you truly want to own a house, than buy a house and live there for awhile before planning any other big expenditures (like travel or a baby). Home ownership is expensive, in so many more ways than just the initial down payment and whatnot. Things break, need to be maintained, updated, etc. And of course your utility payments will go up, and you'll have property taxes and homeowners insurance. And you'll probably do what most new homeowners do and want to furnish your new house.
And definitely - if there is travel that you still want to do, do it before you have a baby. Because while having a baby doesn't end your life (obviously), it WILL make it more difficult and expensive to do those sorts of things. The logistics of running to Target with a baby are difficult.......nevermind flying to Europe for a week.
I lol'd to that
Good tid bits guys!
I like hearing what others' situations and interests are. I'm not rushing to travel or have babies just yet but, I really do want to buy a house right now. The timing of the other 2 just kind of sprang up in conversations of late. I've done a lot of traveling and lived all over the country so I'm ready to settle and create a home in something I own where I can actually put holes in the wall and reno to my liking. Yes, i think one should always take time to vacation, travel builds character and I advise everyone to travel as often as possible (before kids!). I'll probably save more overseas excursions for a year or so after we buy our home. Kids have got to be the biggest expense of all, so that'll go on hold till my time-clock mandates it
If we were already married, I would rather buy a house than travel. But that could be because I have already been all over the world. We bought our house this past June and got married in July. We still plan on going on 3-4 trips nationally and internationally for the next 5 years before we have babies. Even after we have babies we will still do some traveling but we are being very realistic in thinking it will be extremely difficult to go on vacations with kids!
I'm all about travel, and luckily so is DH. And I have the same hesitation about kids/buying a home. It all feels like being "tied down" too much to me. Although I am not 21 anymore, and maybe have to start thinking more like a grownup.
When my family bugs me about grandchildren, I tell them there's at least 5 more countries I have to see first. So, hopefully I can cross those off my bucket list, and then we can move on to babies.
Although I have to say that maybe I'd be more willing to have a baby if it didn't entail the labor part. I'm so completely terrified of labor and pregnancy complications.
I'd say right now my priorities are 1. travel 2. house 3. kids
Do all of the things, in moderation.
I can't imagine a life where I don't get to travel. I've lived in 6 states, been to ~45 states, ~20 countries with tickets to 2 more for this spring (I'm 32). There's SO much left to see! My sweetie and I are getting married this spring and think the only way to afford our traveling habit, and still accomplish other goals (like a house someday) is to alternate international trips with cheaper domestic ones even/odd years. :-)
Where we live houses (big enough for us, a kid or two, and my fantasy workshop) START around 300K. We need to save up and plan. However, we're planning for a giant downpayment in a few years while also planning for some trips in the mean time.
As far as kids go, we'll start trying in the next year and once there's a baby I know it'll change our travel habits but I honestly don't believe we'll STOP traveling ever.