Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
To the Newbies, from a Veteran
(This is in response specifically in response to Krista & Kristy's replies to the GTG post, below, but I kind of thought it would be a good idea to throw it out there and discuss so we can clear the air.)
Please understand, it's not that any of us think you girls in particular are CAUSING the drama, for the most part you all seem pretty low-key. But you should know how different this board was before the influx of fresh Nesties in the fall. We were all used to & liked each other, there was never drama, and enough of us had met IRL to know who could and couldn't be trusted. (To be clear, it's not that we don't trust you, it's just that we don't know you well yet.) Whether or not you're actually doing the things this troll says you're doing, for some reason he's targeted some of you so the drama followed over from the Knot. It's unfortunate and hopefully he'll get bored and go away quickly, but in the meantime a lot of people have stopped posting because it's not worth it to wade through the junk posts to get to the real stuff.
I agree that maybe a specific "Newbie" and "Veteran" GTG would be a good idea so we can all get comfortable with each other. Lately we've gotten a little clique-y, and we're all (old & new alike) better than that.
Re: To the Newbies, from a Veteran
Since no other Newbie has responded, I will...
Thank you for posting your thoughts on this, CoolMoD. What you should also know is that the SJ K girls were a close tight knit group previously as well. Though I never attended any GTGs and I roll with the Philly Knotites b/c my wedding reception is there since FI's family is from there, most all of the regulars on the SJ K were and still are close and these are the girls who have all migrated over here this past fall.
I think alot of people have stopped posting in general on all the boards because this drama is not worth their time to deal with. The reality is that these are just Internet boards and meeting people on here is just about as safe as internet dating -- we all know that can go either way.
So you all know... Knot Annie is working closely with the Philly K Moderator on resolving this situation with the troll. And it appears that the troll is finding other ways to get back at those whom s/he is targeting. The boards are not troll infested as of today and yesterday.
While it's a lovely idea to host a GTG at your own home, you should be prepared for whatever that could lead to. Just because you have met someone once IRL doesn't mean that they are 'normal' and not psychopaths. You can know someone for years and not know they are nuts. (Not saying you all are nuts but you get what I am saying I hope).
As Krista mentioned yesterday, we should all be more careful about what we post on the internet in general.
A GTG for the Newbies with the Vetrans is a grand idea, but is this to say that you won't trust a Newbie if they don't come or cannot attend?
No, that's not at all what I'm saying! I can't remember if it was Krista or Kristy in their pervious posts who mentioned having one, I'm just agreeing. I think it would make people a more comfortable.
Jaci, I definitely think you should still come! There are a lot of girls giong that I have met, and quite a fwe that I haven't, but it seems like a really fun group to me. I'm still bummed that you're moving to DC because you have a good sense of humor, don't NOT come to the GTG because of this stupid troll!
To be quite honest I feel the board has gotten to be WAY to clique-y for my liking... which is why I have not been around much. I understand people's feelings for not wanting to meet IRL right off the bat... understandable. But even posts on here have gotten really clique-y and exclude the majority of the board... my feelings are if you know each other IRL and are not open to "meeting" anyone new then why come on here to talk? Why don't you just e-mail those that you know IRL and want to talk to. Not sure if that made any sense at all and I'm never one to stir the pot... usually when I see a heated post I stay clear... but this is a huge reason why I stay away from the board and it bothers me that we all can't be a little more open to each other.
I haven't been here on TN long enough to know who is clicky or not, but since CoolMoD admits that they are being this way, I think AShaefer1 has a good point. Many of you have mentioned "someone FB message me!", so many of you do appear to be FB friends. You even look at Lavender's pics of Luca on FB and come back here to comment on them.
I'm not all about adding Knotties/Nesties as FB friends because frankly, I really do not know you IRL. (Here's a link to good article from last week in the NYTimes that talks about reducing your # of FB 'friends')
Though the recent Newbs on this board who were close knit on TK before are tight, they were never clicky.
So you think that if the "newer" nesties come to your party they will start a fight?
It seems as though you don't want most of us around even on the nest. I could be wrong however.
Wow, I haven't been on in awhile but a lot has happened! I guess I missed all the drama cause I don't remember there being any?...anyway. The "newbies" as you call us are not really clique-y, it's just that we all know each other already and we have a backround on one another. Trust me when I tell you that none of us are mean spirited!
To be honest a lot of girls on the sj knot email us and tell us how much we are missed from that board. Another thing is that we are all really just married and most of us don't have babies yet and really are not planning on that yet so we are not really comenting on some thing like that (that's how I feel anyway).
Just b/c there are new people on here that maybe are more opionated then the girls that have been on for longer doesn't mean we are not nice!! LOL..
I do think we should have a GTG for all of us! Would be fun!!
I don't know any of you guys IRL or from TK so I guess I'm on my own
. I left TK due to the drama over there because there wasn't any over here. I don't wanna go back!!!
Lilylow, did you even read the post before replying?
You are not alone. I don't know any of the SJ girls from TK or TN IRL. I only know Philly Knotties IRL.
I did
I really think there is alot of merit to this statement. I think alot of the girls that are "newbies" are either recently married or still engaged and that does put alot of thos girls in a different place in life than the ones that have been married for a bit and are now either expanding or starting their families.
I honestly think that if the Knot didnt get out of hand with whatever was going on over there that made such a huge influx of girls over here, it would be different. I think there is a basic difference between the knot and the nest and that is the nest is (by name alone) for women who are married for a bit and starting families. Does that mean I want the newbies to "go back" to the knot HELL NO. But that certainly makes a difference.
As far as being cliquey, I dont really think anyone is being cliquey. Alot of you gals are even saying "we know each other IRL and we are a tight knit group", well, so are many of the veteran nesties. I think that is where the "cliqueyness" comes in. Those of you are are a tight knit, made the switch pretty much at the same time and you gals are just as guilty of talking to each other on this board about things going on IRL as we are. Like the pp that said about facebook being just on facebook etc.... It is a no fault situation.
And as far as the new gals that are "more opinionated", I have to strongly disagree with that statement. We are all opinionated..........and I will leave it at that
I disagree with this statement as there are Newbies here who have recently joined TN and recently married who have already started families before they got married and are in similar places in life as many of the current Nesties.
Many of the Newbs did not come over here b/c of the issues on TK. We came over there b/c we either got married or were seeking advice from married Nesties. I started coming over here to ask about tux rentals and such. So did NYGirl07.. she's come over here asking about WR things as well and it was long before the drama.
I disagree based on my statement above... some people are already Mommies.
Thank you!
And thank you again!
I know I tend to be a bit naive, but I really dont see that any regular poster is personaly attacking another. yes there have been differernces of opinions, but its a public message board, thats going to happen, and everyone is entitled to voice their own opinions. I have seen in past posts where there can be a sense of hostility in them, but that very well could just be that its hard to inflect properly in a typed message.
I also dont think that the gtg was intended as an "old" nestie gtg. I clearly remember DoughGirl posting shortly after the last get together about wanting to host a cookie decorating and had asked for emails to send the evite. I believe she posted after that too to see if anyone else wanted to join in.
The Knot
The Nest
In Real Life
Me, too, Amy. It's not even anything specific most days, just an overall feeling of tension and animosity, and I can't stand it. My point with this post was to explain to some who might not know how different this board used to be, and see if we can try to get back there again. I'm so bummed, I can't even tell you!
Mo, you took the words out of my mouth. I just went through 10 e-mails from Knot members I don't know asking to come to the GTG. Not happening for a couple of reasons:
1. Everyone on the current invite list has a history with this board or is new and has been established as a legitimate new member with introduction and board participation within the last couple of months.
2. 1. I can't realistically fit any more people even if we had time to verify that every new person is who they say they are.
3. To everyone who is already invited and RSVP'd, vets and newbies..... no guests.... unless it's already been cleared, which at this point is limited to Kelly(6ft2bride) and Stephanie H (SG5506). Anyone not on the list cannot be there. I'm sorry if people are offended. It's not intentional, but at this point, I have few options.
I'm going to re-post this as it's own post so that it doesn't get lost in the mire, just in case.
I think that's wise, DoughGirl!! I think that if there is a GTG where everyone is invited should be in a public place for the first time. It's safer for you and everyone!
That's why when you asked back in December for everyone to send you their email address for the evite I didn't send you mine. I knew you'd be like who is this girl ?!
I wouldn't want someone in my house that I didn't know either so it's totally understandable, not to mention the limited space. I'd definitely like to meet everyone but it would have to be at a different venue (public) although this GTG sounds like a lot of fun
I heard that my screen name was mentioned in a post somewhere on the boards in the last week by said troll. Quite fascinating to me since I bust my ass at work 95% of the time and have very little downtime. No lunch break, no bathroom break, no time to make a phone call....unless I have a cancellation. I am too busy and worn out most of the time that I don't see my friends or family. Therefore, I am not offended about the upcoming gtg. I am also not offended about the board changing, about the troll roving on the board or any of the like. I find that I don't have enough time in the day to get worked up about such things at this point in my life.
This post isn't meant to be interpreted in any such fashion as being hostile, etc. The OP just stated though that she doesn't really know the influx of the new nesties. I am one of them considering I was just married a couple of months ago. That's my life in a nutshell right now though....newlywed, workaholic at a job I loathe. I don't contribute much simply because I don't have alot to say at this point in my life.....
Agreed, except I've never gone to a GTG