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Vent about FMIL!!!
I love my FMIL to death...her and my mom are like cloans but if she makes one more smart ass comment about me asking her to cut her guest list or cutting certain stupid things from my wedding to cut costs I'm gonna knock her out!!!!
My FI and I didn't even want the huge wedding...we wanted to go away and get married and my mom was ok with it but she didn't want it so we are doing this big thing for her. We said we only wanted 150 people and she had our guest list at 240....I asked everyone to cut the list including her who had invited her 2nd cousins with their two kids and dates (meaning they are FI's 3rd cousins). Then I said I was gonna make my own simple pew bows b/c the florist wanted $15 a bow and she comments on how I can't make them cheap looking to save money....Who cares what the hell the stupid bow looks like!!!! She's so worried about making it a nice day that she doesn't care about putting us in debt over it...she belives that you only get this day once so you should go top notch where I belive it's only one day and it's not about what my bows look like or how much I spent on my jewelry!!!!
I think she's in lala land and thinks weddings still cost $10 a person....yes she did give us money but it's only covering a third of the wedding and the $ she had for our wedding was given to my FI 2 yrs ago to start his business b/c which is fine but we have to come up with the actual cash.....meaning we are coming up with 2/3rd of the amount of the wedding in a year and we didn't even want this!! She seems to think that just b/c she gave us some money she gets what she wants and my mom has offered to chip what we can't come up with but i refuse to let her b/c my mom has all 3 of her kids getting married right now.
AHHH!! I can't wait till all this is over....yes I'm excited about the day and marrying my FI but that's why i'm excited b/c i'm marrying him. I don't care if people don't like my flowers b/c I didn't spend thousands on them or that I didn't spend $900 on my invites or that i'm not having a violinist at my ceremony. She keeps telling me that we can just get a loan for what we can't get and pay it off after and I want to slap her when she says that b/c we are not paying for our wedding with money from the wedding...why don't we just tell people to pay per head as they walk in the door for god's sake!!!!!
Vent over
Re: Vent about FMIL!!!
Sorry you're going thru this. The guest list arguments with my mom were the most stressful part of my wedding planning. Just try to stick to your guns and do it how you and your FI want to do it. IMO, if people are mad at you b/c of the decisions you make, oh well. It's your day, they'll get over it.
The best advice I got during wedding planning was to give my mom a "project" for the wedding. Something that you could really care less about....it'll make her feel like she's doing something really important and it'll keep her out of your hair.
GL!!!
I agree w/ Toni. The guest list was something I did not enjoy doing. It is a shame that's she's causing so much stress about this. Next time she says something about it I would say something smarta$$ back. Nip it in the bud!
Just to share a story.....We desided to not decorate the chuch with flowers1) the church wa pretty already 2) we already maxed out on our flower budget. My mom kept insisting that we get flowers for the front of the church. I very politely ( She paid for 1/2 the wedding, we paid the other 1/2) told her, "we don't have anymore money in the budget for more flowers. If you really want them. here is the number of the florist, please make sure they match the other flowers" Which implied she would be paying for them. Something happened with the centerpieces. She wanted to add something at the last minute, and athough it was a great idea and would be very pretty on the tables we did not have the money. So, I told her the something, "We just don't have the money. if you think it would look nice, you are more then welcome to add to the centerpieces" I wish I could have afforded every suggestion my mom had b/c she has great ideas, but we had to draw the line somewhere.
Moral of the story, if she wants all of these extra people and exra things, ( and you don't mind) then tell her she is welcome to pay but you just don't have the money.
Sorry you are going through the FMIL issues again. I recall you issues before when you were going to approach her about cutting the guest list.
Here's what I have to say --- if FMIL wants you to use the florist's bows the tell FMIL she can pay for them!
You should try to hold your ground with her. You will have to live with her in your life for the rest of it. You need to be strong now so she see's you are no pushover, otherwise she will being doing this to you forever.
That's just my 2cents.
Thanks for the advice...and I definetly plan on making a smart a** coment the next time. I am letting her pay for the bows b/c I told her I refuse to spend that much so she offered and I don't feel bad about it.
This is the first wedding on her side of the family (My FI is the oldest) so I think she's getting a little carried away