Twas the night before ER...a poem by me!

thecuddleeffect · August 2013

I wrote a funny Egg Retrieval poem, thought I would share!

'Twas the night before Egg retrieval, when all through the house
My cats were all stirring, probably chasing a mouse;
The needles were stuck in my belly with care,
In hopes that rainbow babies soon would be there;
The cats were all nestled at the end of our bed;
While visions of embryos danced in our heads;
With I in my yogas, and papa in his lucky tee,
Had just laid down, we were restless and sleepy,
When out from the alarm there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to ready for battle.
Away to the restroom I flew like a flash,
Went to the bathroom, but skipped my contacts.
The moon on the breast of the Toyota below,
Showed a full tank of gas, ready to go,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But the pike full of traffic, someone must have hit a deer,
With hubby doing the driving so lively and quick,
I knew that we would make it just in the ‘nick.
More rapid than eagles the nurses they came,
They gave jonnys and valium, they were atop of their game
"Now, undress! Take off all of the fixins’!
On the stretcher, in your veins we will be diggin’!
From the tips of your fingers to the end of your arm!
We promise with these needles, we mean you no harm!"
As eight o’clock grew closer I began to cry,
Will this cycle bring me the apple of my eye?;
So off to the operating room the nurses and I flew
With the ovaries full of eggs, and some empty follies too—
And then, in what seemed like a poof
I was out like a light, just laying aloof.
As I woke up in bed, and was looking around,
Over to the gurney the surgeon came with a bound.
He was dressed all in blue, from his head to his foot,
And his scrubs were all wrinkled, he almost looked like a rook’;
A bundle of eggs he had taken a count in the back,
And he gave us the news, he had such tact.
Our eyes how they twinkled! Our thoughts, so scary!
His med chart in hand, his face so merry!
His excitement, he was trying not to show,
And the number came out of his mouth, so we know;
The 11 eggs I had been cooking underneath,
All would be ICSI-ed, while we gritted our teeth;
We got in the car and drove home for some peanut butter and jelly
I drank so much Gatorade it was probably unhealthy.
I was chubby and plump, my stomach swollen beyond myself,
And I laughed when I saw it, I dropped open my mouth;
With the blink of an eye, I was back on a bed
Time for the transfer, of the embryos we had bred;
I drank so much water I needed a cork,
And I laid down flat; while 2 little embies did their work,
And eight days later thought to POAS I suppose
And up popped to lines, my heart just glowed;
I sprang to the bed, to my husband gave a tickle,
And upon seeing the test he gave a slight giggle.
And I heard him exclaim as he looked at me with delight—
“Our babies our coming, will we ever sleep through the night?”