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He is pretending

I have a long-time male friend. He gave me the hints many times that he likes me. However, it's not only to me. In a various range, he did the similar things to my friends. The problem he has is that he doesn't want to do any action. His excuse is that he is too shy to do that. On the other hand, he is very cheap and doesn't want to spend money to treat a girl. So, he keeps giving hints-just hints- to some good girls around him and hope the girl would woo him. Of course girls don't like this. A couple of my friends already complained about this. I'm one of those girls. However, he is very nice and fun to be with.

Recently I opened an online matching site account and filled out the form. One of the questions was about my dream partner. I described to the details. I know he is a member of this site but it doesn't matter to me.

A few days ago, I happened to meet this friend. While catching up on each other's life. I felt very weird.  The way he describe his nowadays is more like what I wrote on the matching site. It was ridiculous. He kept repeating exact the same words I wrote on that matching site. I know what kind of person he is and what he described was totally unlike him (especially when he repeated the same word that I used over and over... it was so obvious)

Personally, I don't like deceiving people nor being deceived.  Should I tell him that I knew that you read my online matching site profile and don't pretend to be my favor?

I feel bitter about that he thought I'm so gullable 

Re: He is pretending

  • Oh, good grief.

    You can ask anybody with common sense -- and ask a bona fide guy friend, in particular:

    WHen a man likes you, neither hell nor high water will stop him from asking you out.

    This guy that you are so hot on is a DUD.

    Do not fish where the fishin' ain't good.  You're out after a big catch, not a freaking minnow.

    Now for my commentary:

    I have a long-time male friend. He gave me the hints many times that he likes me.

    See the above advice.

    And btw, did I say "This guy sucks"? Because he does. Don't waste yer time..

    However, it's not only to me. In a various ranges, he did the similar things to my friends. The problem he has is that he doesn't want to do any action. His excuse is that he is too shy to do that.

    Right. I'll just bet he is.

    And even if he is, do you sincerely want a social re_tard? I think not.
     

    On the other hand, he is very cheap and doesn't want to spend money to treat a girl.

    Strike two...

    Why are you interested in a guy who is a cheapskate???

     He sucks, like I said. Stay away from him.

    So, he keeps giving hints-just hints- to some good girls around him and hope the girl would woo him. Of course girls don't like this.

    Interested in me?

    Dude, YOU do the wooing.

    A couple of my friends couple of my friends already complain ed about this. I'm one of those girls. However, he is very nice and fun to be company with.

    He is NOT a "nice" guy at all and he sounds like he is about as much fun as an IRS audit, a tazer gun and a pair of tight shoes....COMBINED.

    Recently I opened an account with an online matching site and filled out the form. One of the question was about my dream partner. I described to the details.

    This is another thing you are wasting your time with, but that's another commentary for another board.

    Want to meet a REAL man?

    What are you interested in?

    Go out and find a group where there are people with an exact interest as yours -and you are bound to meet somebody OF QUALITY. The best way to meet somebody is thorugh a group of common interest.

    A few days ago, I happened to meet this friend. While catching up on each other's life. I felt very weird.  The way he describe his nowadays is more like what I wrote on the matching site.

    Maybe this creep is also registered on the site -- and who knows under what name or profile -- and he found your little commentary. Maybe not. At any rate, if it feels weird, it is. Get away from him; he's a waste of skin and YOUR time.

    It was ridiculous. He kept repeating exact the same words I wrote on that matching site. I know what kind of person he is and what he described was totally unlike him (especially when he repeated the same word that I used over and over... it was so obvious)

    See the above. Particularly the "Get away from him" advice.

    Personally, I don't like deceiving people nor being deceived.  Should I tell him that I knew that you read my online matching site profile and don't pretend to be my favor?

    Nope...you say NOTHING...

    And you end this friendhship.

    I feel bitter about that he thought I'm so gullable 

    Yep, because you are.

    You have a self esteem issue --- you need to work on that --- plus you and the guy involvlved also sound rather young.

    Get away from him. He's a waste. You'll wait for the second coming for him to ask you out and even then, it won't happen.

    Besides being a socially cheapskate and a game player and just plain weird, he's also stalker-ish in his behavior.  Get away from him.

    Is his being cheap this the "fun to be with" part that I missed? Just wondering.

    Get yourself to a therapist and work on your rock bottom low level of self esteem; It's low because you are permitting yourself to be led on and conned by a jerk -- and a jerk is what he is --- and when you fix your self esteem issue, find a REAL man:

    One who treats you decently, isn't cheap, isn't a game player, doesn't stalk women, who isn't in it for sex only and wants a bonafide decent girlfriend.


  • Your problem is an ongoing one -- a year ago you were beating a dead horse:

    I was picky about choosing a guy - I wanted the guy to ask me out for nice dinner, to woo me over the phone, etc.

    One time, I met a guy and went out with him. I realized I wasn't so interested in him and turned him down. When I saw him again at a random social mixer,  he asked me whether I was happy to get a free dinner.

    It was quite a shock to me. And I decided not to have a prelude in the next date. I thought that once we get in an intimate relationship, the guy would offer those dinner things from the bottom of his heart. So, i met a new guy. We had the first date at a bar( we split the bill), and the second date was at his place. The second date ended up having sex. He went on a business trip right after the second date. I expected some texts or calls from him. But no. No message nor call from him.

    I got only one message about a half week later asking what I'll be doing in the night on the day he's returning.

    I wasn't happy about this message, and I replied I already have plans.

    I told this to my friend, and she told me that my strategy is wrong. The beginning of the relationship is the time when the guys work the most to impress a girl. And the girl should take it. And over time, guys usually put less efforts in the relationship. She told me that since I started it with a very low bar, he may expect to continue it easy.

    Anyway, I feel like he thinks me an easy girl for booty calls. What do you think? 

    Woo you over the phone?
    The second date was his place and then it ended in sex? You go for men who ask you if you're interested in a free meal?? And you never heard from the booty call guy again???

    BE MORE PICKY!!!!!!! That's also my advice.
  • Yup I would mention to him that it sounds like he was reading your match (or whatever) profile.  I would probably say it more as like a joke- ha ha you didn't think I would notice.  Then let him know you aren't interested in him that way. 
  • imageClaryPax:
    Yup I would mention to him that it sounds like he was reading your match (or whatever) profile.  I would probably say it more as like a joke- ha ha you didn't think I would notice.  Then let him know you aren't interested in him that way. 


    He is dead weight and a waste of skin and OUR oxygen.

    The OP is interested in him due to zero self esteem.
  • Yes he must think you are dumb / gullible. 

    This man isn't a friend and there is no future here.  Get rid of him and keep your distance. 

  • He's cheap and he plays games and he pulls this same kind of fast ball on other women and looks like he's exhibiting stalkerish tendencies, to boot (creepy, if not stalkerish, and if not creepy, certainly uncalled for and not warranted at all) and to top that off, his social skills are as sharp as a rusty butterknife.

    Yeah, he sounds like a real bundle of laughs and quite the guy.
  • Dude this guy is a creep. Why are you even friends with him in the first place?
  • He's a creeper.  Stop hanging out with him.

    And stop saying "woo".  That's weird too.
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  • "Woo"?

    That word went out with Rudy Valee, speakeasies and jalopies.
  • I feel like I am reading a very warped, poorly written adaptation of a Jane Austin wannabe beach-read.

    First off, the guy is creepy.  He puts his tentacles out there toward you AND YOUR FRIENDS, in an effort to see who will actually fall for the bait. That way, he can be mildly flirtatious, yet non-specific in order to fulfill his personal agenda.  Once that agenda has been carried out, and he loses interest, or acts like a jerk, he can blame you.  I mean, he didn't technically make a move on you or display any specific interest, you would be the one who took the bait and acted upon it (and coincidentally would bear the responsibility for any expectations involved), and he would make you feel like the crazy person who over-analyzed the "hints" and made them into something they weren't.

    The dude is playing games (and quite poorly in my opinion). Stop playing along!

  • I'm sorry you're feeling bitter because your friend is a tool who thought you were gullible.  But try a different perspective.  If it had been me, I would have had to bite my lip during the conversation to keep from bursting out laughing. And then I would have had to totally mess with him.  Picture wide-eyed innocence with overly enthusiastic and encouraging comments like, "Oh my gosh, TOTALLY!" and "Wow, (insert Creeper name), that sounds great. I wish more guys were like YOU."
  • Try not to be insulted by his stupid behavior. It says more about him (that he's an idiot) than it does about you. You're not gullible, or you'd be dating him. So don't date him or have anything more to do with him, and he'll release how stupid his plan was! I don't think he's worth being so upset about, or being friends with. Throw this creepy fish back in the sea!
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