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Not sure how I want to handle this one.

DH's niece is 21 and has two kids. She's not married to either father. I won't bore you with the history of irresponsible behavior enabled by my ILs.
Anyway, at a recent visit, her 5 year old told me that she was told that DH and I have "a lot of money" and wanted to know why we never buy her and her little brother presents off their wish lists and why we don't give them more.
I told her I hoped she would like her presents and was sorry she didn't.
BTW, DH and I are comfortable but both work to afford our lifestyle and are hardly in the 2%.
Niece always copies us in on the gift registry but DH and I always opt to send an outfit from Kohls or JCP and an age appropriate children's book at Christmas. My ILs go crazy with toys and niece gets her kids to all the community sponsored Christmas parties so we think we're getting them something they need. And we think books are something the 3 of them can enjoy together as a family.
Niece never sends our DS anything but given her situation, we do not expect her to and truly have no hard feelings about that. We also receive no thank you or acknowledgment verbal or written.
DH is not happy and wants to discontinue giving the kids anything at all.
I believe this all comes from niece. I am not happy what this child is learning from her. Sadly, I'm not surprised.
What would you all do?
Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Not sure how I want to handle this one.

  • 5 year olds are blunt and honest, they don't understand social norms or have a filter. DS is 5 and we are constantly teaching him whats appropriate to say and what is not. If she is ungrateful at an older age then I would discontinue gifts. At 5 I would continue with what you've been doing. 

    Also, unless the items on her wish list are more then you want to spend I would try to find something in your price range. Personally I like getting wish lists for kids I buy for around Christmas. We don't live near anyone and I would have no idea what they have or would like otherwise. 
    image Nicholas loved for 28 weeks, 4/11/10
    Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
    Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
  • Ugh, is still give the kids gifts at gift giving occasions.

    However, this is something the 5 year old has either overheard or was coached to ask. No 5 year old knows or pays any attention to how much money others have. The real issue and problem her is her mother. So for the mother I'd buy nothing.

    Welcome to the entailment generation.
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