Told BIL/SIL about our TTC struggles

jnadoreshn · August 2013

We went out to dinner last night with BIL/SIL. SIL has intermittently asked us why we aren't pregnant or when are we going to get pregnant. SO last night during dinner we decided to tell them. We asked them not to share with the rest of the family at this time and answered all of the questions that they had about the process of IUI and what kinds of testing we have done and what our efforts have been so far. Overall, it was a good conversation. At least now we have it off our chests and not skirting around the issue/topic of babies when we are together.

islandmonkey8 · August 2013

Glad you were able to tell them! Happy it went well!

poppies717 · August 2013

I'm glad you had a chance to tell them. I hope they can be a source of support in the process!

thecuddleeffect · August 2013

I am glad you were able to share with them it must feel nice to have a bit of a confidant. Also to "get them off your back" so to speak.

I am completely "out" about my IF struggles, not that that is the right choice for everyone, but it has brought me comfort and an amazing amount of support and the opportunity to educate a lot of people.

TudorRose11 · August 2013

I'm sorry you had to have that conversation at all, but glad you feel better after having it!

amccul20 · August 2013

I'm so glad you were able to share your struggles with them. I have mixed feelings personally about telling people but the people who do know have been very supportive. And sometimes you just need to vent about and now you have someone IRL you can go to.

ecinereb · August 2013

Glad you had a good conversation with them.

jnadoreshn · August 2013

Yeah, to be honest, it was mostly to just shut them up. :-/

I prefer to keep that stuff personal. But I wanted to shut them up. And I asked them to not ask me how things are going. And that if we don't tell them anything than to assume that we are still trying. I told them that this whole process over the past year and a half has been stressful enough and that I didn't want any more stress with questions. They seemed very receptive.

poppies717 · August 2013

jnadoreshn said:

Yeah, to be honest, it was mostly to just shut them up. :-/
I prefer to keep that stuff personal. But I wanted to shut them up. And I asked them to not ask me how things are going. And that if we don't tell them anything than to assume that we are still trying. I told them that this whole process over the past year and a half has been stressful enough and that I didn't want any more stress with questions. They seemed very receptive.

This is why we started telling people. We've slowly started telling more and more people as they ask more and more ridiculous questions. ((hugs))

Apollo11235 · August 2013

I'm sorry you were sort of pressured to share that with them, but I'm glad it went well and you feel better about it now.

amandaf6383 · August 2013

I'm glad you felt like you could be open with them!!

We started telling people because the questions kept coming. Also, the fact that I'm 3T isn't something to be ashamed of and I'm glad that I speak for women who don't feel comfortable doing so. Once I started my blog, I got the most beautiful responses. One girl I went to high school sent me a message saying thank you for putting words to her experience. I totally cried.

Uptowngirl2009 · August 2013

I'm glad you were able to tell them and that they were really supportive. That's always a plus. My SIL was the exact opposite. She knows we've been trying for a year but said that she didn't really care to be sensitive to our struggles. She said, "So what if I hurt your feelings? They're just feelings." Real nice....

DangerMuffin23 · August 2013

Well, I'm sorry you had to do it to get them off your back. But it's nice that they were understanding and that they agreed to stop asking.

DangerMuffin23 · August 2013

Uptowngirl2009 said:

I'm glad you were able to tell them and that they were really supportive. That's always a plus. My SIL was the exact opposite. She knows we've been trying for a year but said that she didn't really care to be sensitive to our struggles. She said, "So what if I hurt your feelings? They're just feelings." Real nice....

Um, that's just f'ing unacceptable. And cruel. I'm so sorry she's like that to you. I'd stay away from her ass as much as possible. (I do with my stepsister)

LuckyAngel07 · August 2013

Sorry for the reasons you needed to tell them, but I'm glad you were able to open up and fill them in and that they were receptive. Hopefully they become a source of support and somewhere to go to confide in others when you're having a hard time.

At least they'll be off your backs if nothing else!

JLyn821 · August 2013

I'm so glad you were able to open up to them! It's such a relief to be able to do that. I hope they will be a support to you and YH while you continue through TTC.

MrsS728 · August 2013

Thank you for sharing this....I just found out that I have PCOS last week and we will need to see a fertility specialist in order to get pregnant (I'm 30, DH is 34). No one, but my mom knows what's going on. I don't want to talk about it and don't want anyone in our families to know. My MIL and SIL both had "opps" pregnancies and pride themselves that they just looked at their husbands and poof were pregnant. It also doesn't help that we just bought a house with a baby's room (pink) all ready to go. What made you decided to finally speak up? How did you feel before and after? What were their reactions. Thank you again for being brave to share your experiences with your family.

Told BIL/SIL about our TTC struggles

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