Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Issues with DH's Family
So when my DH and I were in college, he really needed a car, but we were poor, broke college students. My parents very generously agreed to loan him money for the car and we would pay it back with no interest after he finished with college and had a steady income. This past year my husband and I both have great jobs with steady income and decided to get him another used car that was a bit more reliable. His family was a bit down on their luck at that the time and we agreed to give them the original car at what we would get for trade-in, a really great deal on the car. They got the car, but they have never given us any payments on it, we didn't push the issue because we knew that they were having a hard time. After a couple of payments to my parents for the original car loan, they found out we didn't get any money from DH's family, and my parents told us not to worry about the loan, but if we ever got any payments from DH's parents, we would give it to my parents. Now I found on Facebook today that they are trying to see the car for almost twice what we had initially agreed to sell to them. I feel very hurt and lied to, and feel like my parents are the ones getting screwed in this whole deal. This is not the first time money issues have come up with DH's parents and I'm worried that this is going to continue. I'm going back to school full-time next week and we will just be on my husband's salary for a few years and we've got student loans to pay off. I'm really not sure how to approach them about this.
Re: Issues with DH's Family
So you and your husband decided to get a new car before paying back the loan your parents provided? Now your ILs aren't paying you back, trying to sell the car, and your pissed? I'm confused. It sounds like your ILs are doing the same thing that you and your husband did to your parents.
That aside, you guys gave them the car knowing they are irresponsible with money. I wouldn't have given them the car without cash in hand or a signed promissory note that specified the payment amount and dates. Based on your explanation it sounds as if you guys just gave them the car with the expectation of being paid back without actually conveying those expectations. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Who even has the title to the car at this point? If your ILs do, it's their car and they can do what they want with it. I would have your husband get in touch with them ASAP and find out what they intend to do with the car if and when it's sold and demand they pay you the agreed upon amount. And that money goes straight to your Mom and Dad.
I agree, you parents are getting screwed. But you and your husband played a BIG part in that. You got a new car before paying your parents back, then "sold" the car before paying your parents back, and now that the car is no longer in your possession you're still not paying your parents back. But you're deflecting the blame to your ILs? You need to take responsibility for this.
Curious - did you talk to your parents before selling the car for a "great deal"? If not, that's just all around shitty. Regardless I think you both have totally taken advantage of your parents. And trying to blame this clusterfuck on your ILs is just adding insult to injury.
Yeah, I'm w/ Jemma on this. You and your DH need to pay your parents back. YOU gave the car away. That's on you, not them. They shouldn't get screwed in this. Not one bit.
And moving forward - learn a few lessons. Stop talking finances w/ your parents (they shouldn't know that you weren't getting the $$ from the ILs), and clearly don't ever give anything to your ILs again if you expect $$ in return. You're not going to get it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Wow, all I can say is wow. I can't believe you guys gave your parent's car to his family before you even paid them back. What a sh*tty thing to do. If they have a history of being jerkwads, why would you think this time would be any different ?
You both screwed up really, really bad and need to pay back your poor parents, NOW. Do whatever you have to do to pay them back. It's not their fault you both are fools and pretty much gave his parents THEIR car.
You should be very grateful that your parents are being very nice. I know I would be furious if my daughter did that to me.
Don't borrow money or accept help from your parents again, you don't know how to handle it. Don't ever help your inlaws out again, they suck as much as you do.
people actually do this kind of stuff?
what is wrong with you and your husband?
your parents should be pissed at you both
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10