Family Matters
Jazzyt31
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Brother issues
Hey everyone, looking for some advice opinions please be brutally honest.
I'm having issues with my brother.
Ill start by saying I have a four year old and my brother was never really involved with her. My brother and I are close or so I thought. But the thing is he doesn't follow through on the little things. My daughter asked him to fix her rocking horse a year and a half ago and we are still waiting for him to do it...she insists that her uncle will do it and won't let my husband or I fix it. This isn't the main thing but just an example of how unreliable he is.
He just had a baby 2 months ago whom I go out of my way to build a bond with I want my niece to know I am and always will be there for her. About 3 months ago my brother borrowed money from me telling me it was for his mortgage I later found out it was to get a vehicle that isn't even on the road out of hock because he didn't bother to move it from his apartment when he bought his new house. I loaned him 200$ he paid me back 80$ about a month and a half ago but never anymore.
Last week we went to my uncles on vacation. It was free for my bro to stay as we let him and his dam use the cottage because of the new baby. My husbAnd and I paid for a hotel for the week. My uncle cooks dinner most of the night and lunch too he goes all out cooking steaks and great meals for 11 people. My brother and I decided to buy and cook dinner one night for everyone. Keeping in mind we had been eating for free. My bro and his wife were at the grocery store the night before our meal and failed to pick up any of the ingredients we needed. My husband went the next day and bought everything we needed.we cooked dinner and it was great.however my brother didn't pay his half. I asked him for the money yesterday and he said "oh you need it today do ya" I said yes and he said "I'll see what I can scrounge up" I didn't hear from him yesterday or today 
he only owes me 150$ total but its the principal of it. My thoughts are don't borrow money if you can't pay it back and the avoidance is bothering me. I really don't think I should have to ask for it. I'm not sure how to deal with this and don't want it to be awkward while visiting my niece. And advice or opinions would really be appreciated! Thank you so much
he only owes me 150$ total but its the principal of it. My thoughts are don't borrow money if you can't pay it back and the avoidance is bothering me. I really don't think I should have to ask for it. I'm not sure how to deal with this and don't want it to be awkward while visiting my niece. And advice or opinions would really be appreciated! Thank you so much
Re: Brother issues
My thoughts are don't borrow money if you can't pay it back and the avoidance is bothering me.
And the flip side to this is don't lend money if you expect it to be paid back. I doubt that this is really the first time he's done this. Sounds like he gets stuff handed to him, no one calls him on it, so he keeps doing it.
And now that he has a kid and you're really focused on "our kids have to be close" - it sounds like you'll turn an even bigger blind eye to how he is all so that you can maintain this image of "oh, look how close we/ our kids are".
But really- it's kind of false, isn't it?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I follow Suze Orman's rule about lending money to family - never lend money to family, if you want to give them money give it as a gift.
When your daughter is asleep tonight fix the rocking horse and tell her Uncle came while she was asleep and fixed it. Or Tinkerbell did. Whatever you want.
You can't force or make people be more than they are.
You need to step back. You brother isn't who you want him to be so stop acting like he is.
Stop forcing a relationship with your daughter, some guys aren't good uncles, esp when kids are little, that is ok.
For heavens sake stop giving him money, or handouts. He doesn't appreciate it a will not pay you back.
"Don't marry a man unless you would be PROUD to have a son exactly like him." ~ Unknown
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