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Child spacing

What would be your ideal space between your first and second child? Why?

I'm really torn between wanting the baby period behind me and worried about being overwhelmed if they are too close in age. I think I'm leaning towards TTC again next summer though.

I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

Re: Child spacing

  • DS will be 2 when this one is born provided everything goes well. He's already at a busy stage, so I'm expecting major challenges, but at my age, I wouldn't of wanted to wait much longer. If I were younger, I might of wanted to wait until he was 2 1/2 to try, but I don't think I'd want my lil ones to be much more than 3 to 3 1/2 years apart. Just my feelings.

    Speak sweetly so that if you ever have to eat your words, they don't taste bad.

    ~Unknown~

    Lesson learned!!

  • We were aiming for about 2 years and DS will be 21 months when this one is born.

    I was ready when he was about a year to start TTC again. I know we'll have our hands full but I think we can manage.
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  • Well, we won't be having anymore after the twins, but my plan always was 2 years apart.  That is what me, my sister and my brother were, and I thought it was/is great.  My mom always said that if you have 1 in diapers you might as well have 2.  My SIL waited 4 1/2 years and I have to say my 1st niece was not having it and at 9 1/2 and 5, they don't have the same close relationship my sister and I did growing up.  They are not interested in the same things and there is still an element of jealousy.
    Diagnosed with Severe DOR at 31 years old (AMH .14 FSH 9.8) 
    D & L are here at 34 weeks 4 days by vaginal and breech delivery on 11/19/2013

  • Well, we won't be having anymore after the twins, but my plan always was 2 years apart.  That is what me, my sister and my brother were, and I thought it was/is great.  My mom always said that if you have 1 in diapers you might as well have 2.  My SIL waited 4 1/2 years and I have to say my 1st niece was not having it and at 9 1/2 and 5, they don't have the same close relationship my sister and I did growing up.  They are not interested in the same things and there is still an element of jealousy.
    I agree with this. I have a 11 yr old and while she is a wonderful big sister. She can only handle so much play time with baby. I'm looking forward to having 2 two years apart.

    Speak sweetly so that if you ever have to eat your words, they don't taste bad.

    ~Unknown~

    Lesson learned!!

  • I think 3 years would be ideal. That way, baby 1 is out of diapers. Plus, I feel like there is less rivalry than siblings closer in age

    ...hello out there!
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    dx with anovulatory PCOS 2005
    off bcp 11/11
    a few rounds of clomid and femara... no response.
    injectables/IUI 12/12... BFN
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  • If we decide to have another one I'd like this one to be at least 2. I'd really prefer him to be potty trained too!
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  • My sisters are 14 months apart and Im 26 months younger than the middle one. That's way too close, in my opinion. I don't know if I want anymore, honestly. But if I do, I want B to be out of daycare, which will be 3 or 4 years. Daycare for two makes me want to cry.
    image
    B Born 6.27.13
  • We've said that we would consider TTC when B was one, but I'm definitely rethinking that now
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  • skreedrakeskreedrake member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    My ideal space between kids is 2 years. But I know how unpredictable TTC can be, so who knows. I think when this baby is about a year or a year and a half old, we will start talking about TTC#2. But I am tired of TTCing and am so happy that I am (hopefully) done for a while. LOL

    ETA: Oh, I also don't want to be TTCing much past 35 (though, obviously, if I was older and we wanted more, we'd consider it). I don't know why, but I just can't imagine wanting/having babies in my late thirties. So that makes our timetable a little quicker than we might otherwise do it, as I'll be just turning 32 when this baby comes.
     image image
    10/10/2010
    TTC Since May 2011
    DX: Subclinical Hypothyroidism
    BFP #1: 11/21/2011. EDD: 8/4/2012. Missed M/C & D&C at 11w6d: 1/20/2012.
    BFP #2: 5/24/2012. EDD: 2/2/2013. Natural M/C at 6w0d: 6/9/2012.
    BFP #3: 12/6/2012. EDD: 8/19/2013. Missed M/C at 9w0d: 1/14/2013.
    BFP #4: 4/20/2013. EDD: 1/1/2014. Born at 36w3d: 12/7/2013
    BFP #5: 3/25/2015: EDD: 12/8/2015.
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  • I think 3 years is great, but at this point we can't really afford two in daycare, so it is going to have to be more like 4 or 5 years apart if we decide to have another one. 
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    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
  • We've said that we would consider TTC when B was one, but I'm definitely rethinking that now


    Rethinking sooner or later?

    I could hold you for a million years
    To make you feel my love.
  • We've said that we would consider TTC when B was one, but I'm definitely rethinking that now


    Rethinking sooner or later?
    Later, but I don't know.... I keep getting ute twitches when I see B with other kids. I miss my teeny tiny baby.
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  • We will start trying again when LO is around 3yo. We are looking to have them 4 years apart (no one is in college at the same time, lol).
    Dave and Kathleen - 09.12.09:

    image 

  • This is a question DH and I have discussed many times. Originally DH wanted 2-3 years between and I wanted 3-4 years. Then we had Ava Nichol and I had crazy baby fever and a fear of my endometriosis messing with TTC so we were going to start TTC after she was a year. Well we got to a year and I had surgery for my endo. We both realized we weren't ready for another one yet. Now after a little time we are both thinking that we want maybe 4 to 5 years between them. My older brother is five years older than me and my younger brother is 6 years younger and we all have wonderful relationships so we aren't concerne about that. Part of me thinks we may be one and done but we will see.
    imageimageimage"Image">image"Image">image
    Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
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  • At least 2 years.  I'm fine with 3 or more years.  I don't want two babies at once.  I can barely handle the one I have.  It would be nice for them to be close in age so they can be buds, but I also like the idea of G being a little older and taking on the big brother roll.  We won't start trying again until he's at least 2.
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  • After it taking 22 months for this one, the plan is to chart to avoid for about 6 months and then see what happens for 6 months. After that we'll try for real. We like the idea of 2 years apart, but less is fine.
    image
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    * After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
    DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
    * TTC #2  March 2015 *

    image

  •  I don't want two babies at once.  I can barely handle the one I have.
    Seriously! I really like the idea of them being 2 years apart, but I don't want to interfere with BF and I would like to pump until he is 18-24m. Also things like hiking would also become much more difficult since I have to baby-wear. Lots of things to consider.

    I could hold you for a million years
    To make you feel my love.
  • We are thinking of trying again when E is a year or a little older. I would love them to be 2 years apart but we will see what happens. I haven't even had a PP period yet but I assume I would get it by the time he's a year? I will still hopefully be bfing but by then he should be eating a lot more food.
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  • DH and his brothers as well as me and my brothers are all 2-3 yrs apart and I always liked that. We were close but not too close in age IMO.

    We started TTC DS to ensure they'd be at least two years apart. Turns out DD and DS are 2 yrs 5 mo apart.

    It's great because DD is at an age where she understands and wants and can help out somewhat and feel involved. If she were younger I think there might be more of an attachment / abandonment issue. Plus this way she was out of diapers already (I so didn't want to be changing and paying for two in diapers at the same time) and we were able to reuse the nursery/crib/baby items we already had without having to buy anything else.

    Also I feel if they are too far apart then the first gets so used to being an only child that there can be some resentment when you bring a new baby into the house and they all of a sudden aren't getting all the attention. Plus they have less in common and are less likely to want to play together growing up.

    .image

     

  • We are thinking of trying again when E is a year or a little older. I would love them to be 2 years apart but we will see what happens. I haven't even had a PP period yet but I assume I would get it by the time he's a year? I will still hopefully be bfing but by then he should be eating a lot more food.

    I actually didn't get my first pp period with DD until I fully weaned her at 15 months...

    .image

     

  • My siblings and I are ~3 years apart. DH is 4 years from his sister. I would rather have them closer, between 2-3 years. I'm not sure if we'll try for a 3rd, so I'm comfortable with the idea of TTC again next spring. Lil will be at least 2 by the time we have another.
  • We have 4 frozen embryos left and we originally said we would not prevent a natural pregnancy after 6 months but I've changed my mind. 1 baby is a LOT of work so I don't see me even thinking of another one until she is over a year.
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  • Our ideal spacing is 2.5 to 3 years apart. We plan to TTC #2 starting in January.
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  • @waterfall213 Oh I am so excited :) January isn't that far away! Hope your TTC journey is short and sweet!
    imageimageimage"Image">image"Image">image
    Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
    We Said I Do 09/06/09
    We love our Frankie Dog (5yo pit) and our Paco Kitty Dx Endo 12/09 Lupron 3/10-9/10 BFP 08/11 Bday 3/27/12 Lap Surgery 2/26/13
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  • We're hoping for 2u2
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  • I think I want one more ideally in two years. I won't be going on clomid ever again, so if it happens it does. If not my family will be a family of four.
    I do see one more, but we will see.

    We had ST without protection a few times...playing with fire.
    TTC 10/2010 DX with PCOS 01/2012 Metformin 05/12. Clomid 07/12 50mg- Bust,no response. 8/12 100mg 0 on CD20=BFP. 9/24-56 9/26-125 10/1-2100 B/G Twins, EDD 05/2013 "It's funny they give you a drug to help get you pregnant, but it makes me not want to have sex with you" -DH. Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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