Vent

nightmare_of_beauty · August 2013

Long time no post, I've been lurking just haven't been posting. Busy with work. Just wanted to post this vent about a conversation I had last night.

My friend and I were talking about me TTC, she knows basically everything that has been going on and she is starting to TTC her second child. She asked about SIL pregnancy and it's a rough spot for me for reasons that I could probably write a novel about. Friend tells me that she knows someone who has been trying to have her second child for about a year now and they're doing testing and nothing seems to be wrong so they're not sure why she hasn't been able to get pregnant.

Anyway, friend tells me that she asked her friend how she feels when someone else gets pregnant. Her friend said that she is just happy for them, if she ever got to the point that it upset or made her mad, she would stop trying, you shouldn't take away from someone else's happiness.

Guess I'm just a brat?

Also Bruins, I finished Harry Potter last night. I miss it already.

Aimothy · August 2013

You are not a brat. Different people can handle it differently.

nightmare_of_beauty · August 2013

That was my reply to her and that there's a difference between friends, family, co-workers, etc.

spongebobsquarepanties · August 2013

I'm giving your friend the side eye for telling you what her friend thinks. That's totally a passing a judgment on you in a passive aggressive way. You can feel however you need to feel. If you aren't being a total douchecanoe to the pregnants, then I don't see the problem.

poppies717 · August 2013

spongebobsquarepanties said:

I'm giving your friend the side eye for telling you what her friend thinks. That's totally a passing a judgment on you in a passive aggressive way. You can feel however you need to feel. If you aren't being a total douchecanoe to the pregnants, then I don't see the problem.

Yup. You can only own your feelings. It is totally normal to feel what you are feeling (it's part of TTTC for so many), and I completely agree with the bolded.

DangerMuffin23 · August 2013

Umm, no. Everyone has a different tolerance level for disappointment. She's obviously still in a stage where she's not that upset (prob cause she already has a kid). and maybe. . . nevermind. I call Shenanigans on the whole convo. You are totally normal and not a brat.

ecinereb · August 2013

Don't beat yourself up. Everyone handles these things differently and even feel differently at different times in the process.

ILoveRedVino · August 2013

ecinereb said:

Don't beat yourself up. Everyone handles these things differently and even feel differently at different times in the process.

This.

There are times when I am genuinely very happy for other people. My sadness has nothing to do with being happy for them.

And there are other times when I am angry or bitter.

It depends on what is happening at the moment in my journey, and depends on who the person is.

Totally natural/normal to have different reactions.

abt8113 · August 2013

I think it's also different because her friend already has a child. I think if I had one already, I might be more keen to stop TTC a second if my emotions change. She is already a parent where most of us would give anything to have at least one child.

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