Sexual Orientation

doeydo · August 2013

I'm a female and engaged to a male. I find myself very attracted to certain women but am also attracted to my FI. I have never had a sexual encounter or relationship with a woman. If I were to gauge myself using the Kinsey scale, I would give myself a 4. Has anyone here questioned their sexuality?

TarponMonoxide · August 2013

I don't know your age.

I wonder if young women of a certain age experiment around sexually like young men of a certain age do?

If so, you might be in the experimental stage.

Then again, you might be bi or even lesbian.

What I would do:

Speak to a group like PFLAG -- I don't know if the issue is bothering you --- and a sex therapist and perhaps a counselor. You would more or less be able to get to the root of your issue.

If it turns out you are bisexual, I think it would be best if you told your FI. I am not crazy about the idea of keeping something like that a secret. (If he was bi or gay, I think you would want to know) He may welcome the idea of you being bi or he may not. Be fair to him.

I don't have any "experience" in giving advice in an area like this one but that's all "I've got." Maybe my suggestions would be of aid to you.

moonprincessd · August 2013

I questioned mine, but like in high school, because one of my friends claimed she was gay and then I'm like, oh maybe I am too? yeah.. that was a crazy time, I got over it fast.

I definitely suggest talking to your fiance' about your feelings. You're planning on marrying him right? He deserves to know... or if you do want to experiment, better now than when your married.

I second the suggestion of seeking a counselor.

vlagrl29 · August 2013

I have a friend who made out with a ton of girls in her early 20s and is now married to a man with a toddler. It could be possible you are wanting to experiment.

brownbear590 · September 2013

Yeah, since I was eight.
I'm bi and my DH is straight. It's not a big deal for us. My DH accepts and loves me for who I am and trusts me completely.
I would recommend that you look into some LGBTQ self-help books that will help you determine if you're bi or lesbian or maybe even pansexual or just questioning (AKA confused, experimenting, etc). If that doesn't help, you could always try meeting with some groups like PP said. GLAAD is a really good one.

anssett · September 2013

My personal journey was more along the lines of gender queer (I don't feel like I'm like other women, but I'm not a man...what am I?). I've fallen for a couple girls over my adult life but it's MUCH rarer than being into guys. That said, it's not binary (as you noted with your kinsey rating!) If you're concerned about this definitely find some LGBT resources and talk to people about what you're feeling, and hear their stories. You sound plenty normal to me. Both my husband and I are super open, but not as bi as we thought (or hoped) when we were younger. :-)

doeydo · September 2013

Thanks to everyone for their help. I have expressed to my FI that I have these types of feelings and will look into if there any LGBT groups or anything like that in my area.

TarponMonoxide · September 2013

doeydo said:

Thanks to everyone for their help. I have expressed to my FI that I have these types of feelings and will look into if there any LGBT groups or anything like that in my area.

I think it would be wise if you and he held off on the wedding a bit. Suppose it turns out your preference is women?

Wishing you luck in what you do. Good for you you were honest with him about how yoiu feel right now.

funandfreckles · September 2013

SEXYMAMA17 · September 2013

I FIRST WONDERED WHAT MY SEXUALITY WAS FROM A YOUNG AGE, I FELL FOR A GIRL IN GRADE SCHOOL, BUT WAS WAY TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND MY SEXUALITY, IT WASN'T UNTIL ABOUT SIXTH GRADE OFR IN JUNIOR HIGH THAT I FULLY UNDERSTOOD MY SEXUALITY, AND I AM MARRIED TO THE GIRL I FELL IN LOVE WITH BACK THEN

SEXYMAMA17 · September 2013

SEXYMAMA17 said:

I FIRST WONDERED WHAT MY SEXUALITY WAS FROM A YOUNG AGE, I FELL FOR A GIRL IN GRADE SCHOOL, BUT WAS WAY TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND MY SEXUALITY, IT WASN'T UNTIL ABOUT SIXTH GRADE OFR IN JUNIOR HIGH THAT I FULLY UNDERSTOOD MY SEXUALITY, AND I AM MARRIED TO THE GIRL I FELL IN LOVE WITH BACK THEN

DawnLilly · September 2013

I don't know why but I don't care for the term "sexual orientation" I think it's because I consider my "orientation" to just be simply "sexual". If a woman or man is aesthetically pleasing I am sexually attracted to them. I definitely have a certain "type" but it doesn't really have to do with blond or brunette. You can absolutely be attracted to women but still be in love with a man. The body is beautiful, masculine and feminine and I consider it absolutely fine to want to explore both.

You know how you can be out with a bff and you both watch a guy walk by and give each other The Look? You can do that with your man! If your FI IS your best friend like mine is and you stare as long as he does at the passing busty broad and then give him the look he will love it! DH is so much the same that he will grab my elbow to point out a man.

I wouldn't leave my DH ever for a man or woman but you can be sexually attracted to many, but your heart and soul will only ever be attracted to one.

Sexual Orientation

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