Money Matters
AimeeE2013
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
joint or separate bank accounts?
My fiance and I are both on different sides, He wants a joint account ( His argument: this caused problems in his parents marriage and we both split everything except for personal purchases so why not?) I want both, one for our bills and purchases together and one for our separate items like gifts for each other or items for ourselves (My argument: My parents started with a joint account and switched to separate, I am also a big Giver. I love giving gifts not extraordinary items, but I do not let a birthday go unnoticed.) He makes twice as much as I do, so if anyone could benefit from a joint account it would be me. I am not loose with my money though and have never went so overboard to where I would be strapped for cash if I needed it. He is totally for having a joint account and has no problem sharing money as long as we both budget (saving for a house and future children, etc). I am just wondering how you all have handled this sticky subject..... Did you completely join accounts together, or did you keep a little separate account for each of you?
Re: joint or separate bank accounts?
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We have joint checking and savings and have had this since we got married. Also, our kids' savings accounts have both our names on them.
The biggest reason to be joint for us is due to the ease of accessing money. If your spouse dies or is incapacitated, if you are not joint on an account with them, the bank does not and will not give you access to the account unless you have proper legal documentation. Also, they won't release any information on the account either unless you are joint owners.
If you needed money, but your DH was the sole owner of his account, but he was dead or in the hospital, the bank would not give you any funds or information until you provided a death certificate or power of attorney paperwork to give you access.
For us, that's the big reason to be joint. Plus, I agree with PPs, it's easier to track, manage and budget.
You have to do what works for you both, but i would keep in mind the legal implications of separate accounts.
A combination of both has worked well for us.
Our income is direct deposited into a joint account at bank #1. Then an agreed upon personal "allowance" is then transferred into our individual accounts (also with bank #1)- with no accountability - to either spend or save.
We have several joint savings accounts (different banks) for different purposes - just easier for us to keep track of things (housing renovations, maintenance, taxes, furniture etc),
Bank #3 is for vehicle repairs, license, insurance, and savings for replacement (pay cash)
Bank #4 is for vacations and other luxury non essential spending
Bank #5 - emergency fund
Then there are retirement investments, and an annuity
I think you would enjoy and benefit from reading Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach. The first few chapters are all questions about your individual relationship with money, values, goals, issues. You answer separately and then sit down and discuss your answers. It will facilitate a better understanding of each other's emotional relationship with money and that will assist with setting up your finances so they work for both of you.
ALL of our accounts have POD (payable on death beneficiary)
For keeping gift purchases unknown we just use our separate credit cards. They get paid out of our money but they get mixed in with general purchases each month so we don't know how much the other spent. We do have some joint credit cards, but we still have our two we had before we were married. Our everyday expenses go on those (everything is paid off every month we like the cashback/extra warranty/miles/having our main spending not directly linked to our bank account if a card number gets compromised/etc) The different cards also work for our fun money purchases - he doesn't know what I spent on boots/photographystuff/books/starbucks/dog toys etc nor do I know how much he spent on video games/lunch out/whatever other random stuff he bought. We have an approximate fun money budget and normally stay within it, but the not knowing the exact amount spent on an item keeps the you bought what eyerolling to a min.
We've had our budget worked out since before we got married - we weren't living together grad school was in different places, but we still had a wedding to pay for and other general things to save towards. Things were adjusted as jobs changed, we bought a house, got a dog etc. It is a major thing that we haven't had a fight over since we eliminated seeing what the other person spends their fun money on. We have the same priorities for long term goals. Bought a smaller house so we could have a larger travel budget without harming long term savings. Have a similar age we'd like to retire etc. Our premarital counseling sessions were pretty amusing as we had worked most of it out prior to them so the pastor didn't have much to go into with us.
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At least that's how it's supposed to be. My husband has been in the habit of using the main account most of the time because he forgets to use his other card. He claims to be staying within the allotted budget, but I'll believe that when I see it!
I do like the set-up though. It is very important to me to have money that is mine to spend, no questions asked. Like most, my money issues come from my parents. I hated seeing my dad get angry at my mom for spending "his money" but I also sometimes agreed that she needed to put limits on her spending.
You should always keep in mind that whatever you decide is not set in stone. You should re-evaluate your goals and go over the budget regularly. You can always make adjustments later on.
You should always keep in mind that whatever you decide is not set in stone. You should re-evaluate your goals and go over the budget regularly. You can always make adjustments later on.
With the same bank we have two joint savings accounts and a joint checking account. The one combined savings/checking account is for vacations, child expenses (schooling, child care, etc), and gift giving that we don't pay out of our individual accounts. The other savings account is for our emergency fund/ car repair/ home repair.
We also had to get a PNC wallet when we did a personal loan to do some fixes up on the house.
For us we share our budgets with each other and stay on the same goal path. I fully fund the vacation and the PNC accounts while also transferring a set amount at the beginning of the month to help with the larger ticket items that my wife covers.
We have both joint & individual. We each get a set amount of spending money each paycheck. That goes into our individual checking accounts. We are free to use that money however we each want to, golf, shopping, lunches, etc. We don't have to answer for that money. Once it's gone though, you're broke until next week (gas money comes from joint account & there is always food in the house to pack lunches), Bascially it's an allowance for lack of a better term. The rest of our money goes into a join account for savings & bills. For our individual stuff we use cash/debit card to avoid spending more money then we should, it's gotten us each into trouble in the past.
Our accounts are completely joint. We are both in agreement on our long term financial goals and have similiar spending habits. We are not big gift people, so that wasn't really a consideration.
In my opinion, the previous suggestions about mainly joint with an "allowance" every week sounds like a good compromise for you.
We both have individual checking accounts (we're both on each other's accts, but don't actually access them for any reason)... we also both have individual savings accounts (we're not on each other's accts for these)... and we have a joint savings account.
Our bills are mostly separate (I have my credit cards and student loans... he has his credit cards)... and I give him money each month for my part of the mortgage and utilities...
We may combine more down the road (just married in May, though we've been living together for over 4 years now)... but for now, this works for us.
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We bought a house together and closed a month after we were married. As part of that transaction, We received a refund check from our insurance company and could only deposit it in a checking account with both of our names on it -- something about that being a rule with insurance checks even though it was just a premium refund. I'm not sure if that was even true, but we thought it was a good excuse to cobble things together anyway. We were now financially secure enough that we no longer had to worry that we'd blow something up f we both withdrew lunch money from the ATM at the same time.
Almost seven years in, I have to say that it was the right decision for us. At the time of our marriage, I made just a hair more than him. Now I stay home with our son and rarely have income. Meanwhile, his income has doubled and I've taken over handling all of the finances because I have the time. It would feel weird, I think, if I we still had my money and his money, given that my contribution to the family is no longer monetary.
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