What to call him/ relationship? Weird question

Allgaier · August 2013

This is kind of an odd question.

My fiance and I have been together almost 5 years. Dated for 3 engaged for almost 2 now.

We have not set a date to get married. I know we can get married cheap but for now it's not in the cards.

People ask me a lot "When are you getting married?" and a lot of " Have you set a date?"

So then I feel, odd calling him my fiance because no at the moment we just haven't.

But he's more than a boyfriend but he's not yet a husband. Do I just keep saying we have not set a date?

Or should I call him something else? Although it's a bit more serious than just dating?

Hope that all made sense.

JemmaWRX · August 2013

He's your fiancé. Just because you haven't set a date doesn't mean you're not engaged and he doesn't qualify as your fiancé. If people ask, just tell the truth - "we haven't set a date yet."

Sillygirl45 · August 2013

If he proposed, you said "yes", and you have a ring, he's your fiancé. There's no time limit on engagement. Just say you haven't set a date and change the subject.

anssett · August 2013

Rings aren't even necessary. If you two have decided to get married, you're engaged. Timeline and other people's opinions (and expectations of jewelry) don't matter. If you're being responsible by saving for a wedding, by waiting until you're ready, and not going into debt over a party, then you're doing the important stuff right.

Sillygirl45 · August 2013

anssett said:

Rings aren't even necessary. If you two have decided to get married, you're engaged. Timeline and other people's opinions (and expectations of jewelry) don't matter. If you're being responsible by saving for a wedding, by waiting until you're ready, and not going into debt over a party, then you're doing the important stuff right.

You are absolutely right. I amend my original answer. I guess what I meant is if there is a sincere proposal and acceptance, he is your fiancé. I guess I have had friends who throw around the term any time a BF says so much as "sure, we'll get married someday". Clearly not what is go going on here.

SapphireCounselor · August 2013

JemmaWRX said:

He's your fiancé. Just because you haven't set a date doesn't mean you're not engaged and he doesn't qualify as your fiancé. If people ask, just tell the truth - "we haven't set a date yet."

Agree. As long as you intend to marry him , the fact that you haven't set a specific date doesn't matter.

TarponMonoxide · August 2013

If it isn't in the cards now, you'll have to do some cold hard appraisal of him and the fact that you cannot get married now.

This will have to be your call.

If this is a case of his not being able to save money or something similar, I suggest you revisit being with him, period.

Allgaier · August 2013

Thank you ladies for the replies.

No, not nothing like that Tarpon. We're in no rush to get married. And we haven't started planning hardcore on it yet, or anything like that. We know we want something simple family and close friends but other than that we haven't put a lot of time or thought into it. My car keeps breaking down and needs a lot of work. We both want to make sure I have a good car before we put money into anything else.

Leftie22 · August 2013

It sounds Iike you're being responsible with money and the wedding, which is great! And yes, you should call him your fiancé. People will always ask nosy questions, don't let that affect what you call your future husband! Lots of people get engaged without having a date in mind, or they know they can't marry until they finish school, save, whatever. They're still engaged.

What to call him/ relationship? Weird question

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