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Re: .

• Disneygeek77 member

  

  August 2013

  Well first, and I know this will sound harsh, but you need to have an STD test done because you know deep down there is no way you can say he didn't sleep with her.

  Second, I would do whatever you can to get marriage and individual counseling so you can get to the bottom of why this happened.  I also think an individual counselor would be helpful so you could have someone help you do some serious soul searching about your future. 

   

   

   

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• tiffanysbride member

  

  August 2013

  Disneygeek77 said:

  Well first, and I know this will sound harsh, but you need to have an STD test done because you know deep down there is no way you can say he didn't sleep with her.

  Second, I would do whatever you can to get marriage and individual counseling so you can get to the bottom of why this happened.  I also think an individual counselor would be helpful so you could have someone help you do some serious soul searching about your future. 

   

   

   

  This is where I am at. I do think you should leave, but you have kids and you'll need to be able to communicate with him about your children in the future. If he ends up with this other woman you'll also need to tools to deal with that emotionally. You could forgive him, some people do, but he has carried on an affair for a long time and lied too you more times then you can count.

  
  

  This woman didn't force him to give him his new numbers or to take a secret phone, he did that all on his own. He confessed after caught every time, not before. Please make sure you are placing the blame where it belongs, on him. 

  
  

  Also, get your finances/documents in order and seek out a consultation with an attorney. Don't tell him, just get some information for when the time comes. 

  Nicholas loved for 28 weeks, 4/11/10
  Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
  Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12

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• Disneygeek77 member

  

  August 2013

  Yeah, if I am going to be completely honest, I don't know if this marriage will last either.  Does he own his own business ?  If so, does she still work for him ? 

  It is pretty telling that he is still going out of his way to still talk to her and you know deep down he didn't need to get a new cell phone in order to tell her to leave him alone. 

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• Sillygirl45 member

  

  August 2013

  He needs to leave and you need to divorce him. He lied over and over and tried to blame it on the other woman. Nope. This is 100% HIS fault.

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• JemmaWRX member

  

  August 2013

  You caught him and he's still talking to her and lying about it. I might feel differently if he came clean and cut ties, but he's being a total scumbag. I'm sorry, but I would be seeking the services of an attorney right about now.
  

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• Liz3338

  

  August 2013 edited August 2013

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• Disneygeek77 member

  

  August 2013

  Did you have an STD or HIV  test done while you were pregnant ? 

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• Liz3338

  

  August 2013 edited August 2013

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• Disneygeek77 member

  

  August 2013

  Liz3338 said:

   

  
  

   

  
  
   

  We meet up after two days lots of tears etc. I told him I didn't want to speak to her again. He changed his number but within a few days she got hold of it. I told him to tell me if she started contacting him again but he didn't I found out again it was happening and then she tried using a different mobile to contact him on! I found this out and he got her to lie to me on the phone and one of his workmates to pretend it was his workmates girlfriends phone!!!

  
  

  Then the ultimate two betrayals, she ended up meeting him and got him to have a completely new mobile which I found hidden in his truck. There were no messages on it just a couple of calls to her. He said he was trying to make her go away, that she was threatening to come to our house and he didn't want that. Then when all this had been going on before I found out he had stayed away for work 4 separate nights over a month. I eventually found out he lied about this,l he said he didn't go to hers that he was depressed and needed to get away from everything. Yet on those nights he didn't contact her at all - but did every other night. I do recall hi saying at the time though he wanted to drive into a wall hes was so down - he had serious money problems with his business.

  
  

  I just dont now what to do so torn all the time. I love hi and hes always been so honest and good to me in the past. Ive not had a chance to get over it all as when I found out about the nights away , a week later I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd child/

  
  How did he explain the bolded sections because those are not the actions of  a man who wants her to leave him alone and those are also not the actions of a man who only wants to talk to someone.

  I am honestly not trying to be snarky or rude, I am genuinely curious how he explained this.

  Do you think it is possible he later told her to ignore whatever he said because you were on speak phone ?

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• Disneygeek77 member

  

  August 2013

  Have you been tested for other STDs beside HIV ? 

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• JemmaWRX member

  

  August 2013

  Ok thought this was still current. If you guys want to make this work you have to go to counseling ASAP! And he needs to come clean about everything, including those 4 nights in question. If he's still lying... He's showing you loud and clear that he's not to be trusted.

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• catsareniice1 member

  

  August 2013

  My heart goes out to you.
  

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• Leftie22 member

  

  August 2013

  It sounds like your husband is making a lot of excuses. He had financial trouble with his business, so up he needed to talk to another woman until 3am? That doesn't sound fully honest or truthful, which is probably why you still feel like you need answers. I'm sorry that you're going through this, and it can't be easy being pregnant with that going on. But I think your husband was up to no good. You already know that he would lie to you and even get another phone to trick you, so why do you think he's being honest now? (I don't mean to be harsh, I just can't help but think he could still have two phones and that's why he's fine with leaving one for you to look at.) You should go to counselling with your husband. He still has some explaining to do, and you need to figure out if you can trust him again, even if you don't get all the answers you want from him. I hope you get the help you need, this sounds like a really awful situation, especially with kids.

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• Sillygirl45 member

  

  August 2013

  Another one bites the dust.

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• R.Wilsonny member

  

  August 2013

  Sillygirl45 said:

  Another one bites the dust.

  
  Some people simply cannot handle being told the truth.

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• Leftie22 member

  

  August 2013

  I don't get what people are hoping for when they post about their lying, cheating husbands. Do they want everyone to tell them it's okay and he's a great guy?? Ugh.

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• Sillygirl45 member

  

  August 2013

  I don't get what people are hoping for when they post about their lying, cheating husbands. Do they want everyone to tell them it's okay and he's a great guy?? Ugh.

  But he was so GREAT when he wasn't lying and cheating! He still wasn't willing to fess up on the 4 lost days, but hey, isn't he worth a chance? Ummm, no.

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• Disneygeek77 member

  

  August 2013

  Leftie22 said:

  I don't get what people are hoping for when they post about their lying, cheating husbands. Do they want everyone to tell them it's okay and he's a great guy?? Ugh.

  
  I honestly think that is what they are looking for.  Someone to say " Oh honey, it's ok."

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• TarponMonoxide member

  

  August 2013

  This one must have been a doozy.
  
  I gathered he lied to you.  YOur bigger problem: the fact he lies.
  
  He also has no business acting inappropriately with another woman.
  
  My advice is the same when it comes to a cheater -- and that is what he is. a cheater:
  
  Show him the door and file.  He's not only been unfaithful, he's emotionally checked out of the marriage  and he is a liar, to boot.
  

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• zitiqueen member

  

  August 2013

  QUOTE, PEOPLE!

  fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.

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