Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anal?
My boyfriend currently wants to try anal...any tips?
Re: Anal?
OMG. Before you go off on bad advice, let's start with the basics.
Your body is plenty capable of having a penis in your butt without pain. It stretches when you poop and that isn't excruciating! To get there you need LOTS AND LOTS of build up. I don't mean 10 minutes of foreplay, I mean foreplay, some oral sex, maybe an orgasm or two, then start with the anal play. Your body takes a REALLY long time to relax physically so you can enjoy the sensations rather than be in pain.
USING DESENSITIZING LUBE CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS!!!!! [8/28/13 EDIT: Getting drunk is even more dangerous] You need to be able to feel what's going on to protect your body. Don't do it this terrible way.
To actually get penetrated I'd recommend starting with a finger (I prefer latex or nitrile gloved, well lubed, fingers - grocery and drug stores sell boxes of these gloves). The gloves help with cleanliness (you just throw them away after) as well as protecting you from fingernail abrasions. The recipient (you) gets to set the pace. The penetrator should gently rub around the anus before any penetration. If you want to also rub your clit at the same time it helps keep your body relaxed and engaged. If your partner keeps their finger still you can move your body onto it SLOWLY. You are setting the pace! You decide what feels good and embrace it, or back off if it doesn't feel good. Breathe a lot. Go slow. Relax. This way you are least likely to hurt yourself and have a negative experience.
Having anal sex is pretty much the same thing. Lots of build up, go slow, TONS of lube, and the recipient moves their body onto a condom-covered penis (good for cleanup and STI protection!). Some people find they really like the sensation and can then add more movement (penis moving in and out), but ALL THIS MOVEMENT has to be initiated by the recipient.
A middle ground step is using a vibrator for anal penetration. If you're going to re-use it EVER on your vagina you need to cover it with a condom for cleanliness. Period. This sensation can be very pleasurable with a second vibrator or partner having vaginal penetrative sex.
reminders - you can never use too much lube
if you think you're going slow enough, go even slower
This is olympic level sex and should be done with partners you trust who love you enough to be kind/patient/gentle
I love it when we do it (which isn't very often) but the key is just going slow and taking your time. My DH is very gentle and perceptive, and I call the shots.