Question about school bday parties - WWYD?

northhillsbride · September 2013

My son's school has a policy that if there is a bday party, everyone in class has to get invited. Well, let the games begin...

Gavin came home with an unaddressed envelope for a party. The invite is Princess Sofia inviting you: "Are you ready to be a Princess? Join other princesses-in-training as we cleberate!" It's at the girl's house.

Now, would you figure that this invite was just following school policy but is really only for the girls, right? I would shoot an email to the Mom, but she only gave a phone number to RSVP and I don't want to sound stupid. And I don't know anyone else who I could ask! LOL

WWYD?

egpitt22 · September 2013

Can you text her? I'd try that first. Mainly because I avoid having to call strangers on the phone at any cost!

I kinda-sorta get the reasoning behind rules like this, but I think it's silly. There needs to be a more happy medium...like maybe if you are going to physically pass out invites at school you have to invite everyone. Otherwise, use evite or something. That, I think is reasonable. Inviting every single kid every time you want to have a party?? Come on! I'm not trying to sound rude, but isn't that just life? I wasn't invited to every bday party growing up, and here I am, not in therapy over it.
:-/

Sorry, that probably sounded a bit harsh, but I just wonder if sometimes we're trying to control too many aspects of kids lives.

Jefsnickerdodle · September 2013

I know Adam wouldn't want to go to a Princess Party. would Gavin?? You have the option to say NO! I would probably just rsvp that he isn't coming and be done with it.

I would also try to have a more general party if I was inviting everyone, (although boys stuff is easier for girls to be "ok" witth)

Maybe by doing Princess is their way of following policy and limiting the response.

lala5507 · September 2013

I don't think a school should have any say in who you invite to a party that is not on school property. I think a rule of, no invites handed out at school or something like that would be more reasonable. I agree, I would just rsvp a no for that one, unless your son really wants to go.

AmandaJLewis · September 2013

I would probably just RSVP with a no and not worry about if he was just invited because of the rule. Our K teacher asked if you want to pass out invites in the class you should invite the whole class. Otherwise you can get addresses through the PTA and mail them to your child's friends.

Luckystar2 · September 2013

Ditto the others. Our daycare had the rule that if you leave invites out on cubbies everyone should be invited. Otherwise you could give to teachers and they would distribute to specific kids in their private folders. I never invited everyone and I just mailed invitations out rather than deal with th teachers.

Anyways we only went to parties of kids dd really was friends with. Some parents did invite everyone and I am just not a big fan of that. I guess since he just recently started he probably isn't close with anyone specifically yet. I'd assume though in this case that its probably going to be girls who end up going. Regardless of whether they really do want boys there or not the gi probably really wanted a girly princess party. So if Gavin had no interest and doesn't know the kid why go?

waltsgirl102503 · September 2013

Our school has that rule, too. However, a lot of the parents just tell their kids to hand their friends the invite in the morning and to do it quickly and not make a big deal of it. And that's what we did. (Rule breaker up in here!) I hate the invite everyone thing. Not every person gets invited to every party - that's life! It's a lot easier to learn that lesson at 6 than it is at 16. Anyway....if he doesn't really know the little girl and has no interest, just call and say No.

northhillsbride · September 2013

Thanks everyone - I was more from the lines of thinking "I don't want to offend the Mom/girl by not going" and "if it's a party for boys and girls, I would love for Gavin to go to meet the other kids (and for me to meet the parents)". I should have been looking at it that it is a girls' party (and Gavin does not want to go to a princess party but was open to it if there were other boys there).

I agree that I don't like the "invite everyone" rule either; but it's only two weeks into school and we don't have addresses of the other kids, let alone even know the names of the other kids in the class! So, I get it bc the kids have to do it through the classroom. It's an inclusion thing (from the school's eyes) as well.

As the kid gets older, I thoroughly expect to recieve invites through the mail!

Ok - I think I'll send a text thanking for the invite, but declining. That seems to be a happy medium!

Jefsnickerdodle · September 2013

Like you said it's only the 2nd week of school. I am sure there will be tons of other activities school related and not that will be good opportunities for you all to meet people and make friends!

Hopefully the next invite he gets is for a boy party!

smynings_bride · September 2013

DD had a Minnie Mouse party this year and already stated she wants a princess one next year. However, that's just the theme for the invites/cake/favors but the activities at the party were gender neutral.

I don't think our school has the invite everyone policy--if they do then I violated it. Since they move some kids up 3 times a year, DD has friends in the class she was graduating out of and some in the class ahead of hers so I just invited the kids she always talks about.

MandyMilller · September 2013

I feel like we're going to have this issue every year! L's bday is close to the start of the school year, and while they did send emails for parents in our class, it didn't go out till last week (and her party was this past weekend). I agree it's stupid to have to invite the whole class. Not everyone wants 24+ kids at their party, especially when it's at the start of the year and you don't necessarily know them all. Our kids get folders sent home daily, I don't see what the big deal would be in the teacher slipping invites into certain ones. They'd never even open them until they were home from school. And it's not like we don't get other non-school related things in them. And, like Emmy said, we didn't live in a world where everyone was included in everything and we all survived!

BethieB · September 2013

I guess I'm in the minority but I don't mind the rule, BUT our school's rule is either all the kids get invited or you invite all the girls or all the boys (assuming you want a gender specific party). Beause I think if you just did specific kid's being invited, a child who wasn't invited could really have their feelings hurt. And at that age things are emotionally charged as it is. So I appreciated our K teacher telling us about the rule and that she wouldn't hand out invitations to just specific kids.

Also, I immediately thought that they'd have "prince" activities as well, considering that Sophia has a brother James - you could always call the mom and ask. I wouldn't think it odd to say "Gavin would love to play with the kids and celelbrate X's birthday, but I know he doens't enjoy dressing up as a princess. Will there be any prince activities there?

MrsYam · September 2013

Since my girls aren't school-aged yet, I'm a little in shock that there are rules for invitations! Our preschool only states that if you do have a birthday party and invite fellow classmates, that you do it outside of school. I've always just mailed them to the parents.

There is no way I'd be inviting 20+ kids plus their parents for their birthday parties.

Question about school bday parties - WWYD?

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