Who do you spend holidays with?

queenofhearts1728 · September 2013

My SO and I have never spent a holiday with either of our families. I was in school until May of 2012 and couldn't go home for the holidays last year due to starting a brand new "big girl" job just a month or two before the holidays hit. My SO is not fond of his family, and has not seen them in years, and up until this year, he was always working management in retail - something you just cannot escape from August to February.

This is the first year that we have been together that we could actually go see my family for a holiday, as I've been with my company long enough to feel comfortable taking time off, and he is no longer in retail. I am trying to convince him it would be a worthwhile trip, but he's so used to spending the holidays with just me and only has bad memories of holidays with his family, I don't think I'm very convincing. I don't necessarily want to make it a yearly event, but I haven't spent a holiday with my family in a few years, and I would lovelovelove to go. I'm just feeling a little stuck.

How do you decide who's family to visit? Does your family visit you instead? Do spend the holidays alone?

doeydo · September 2013

We alternate between our families for Christmas. For Thanksgiving and other holidays they usually celebrate on different days anyways and we go to both.

KonaCoffeeBean · September 2013

If he is uncomfortable spending holidays with his family, then don't. I do not understand why this should preclude spending a holiday with your family.

We do Thanksgiving at my in-laws, and my dad and brother always go too. We have Christmas eve with my in-laws, and then we host Christmas day with my dad and brother. I haven't spent a holiday with my mother since high school. We don't have a bad relationship; but like your husband, I have bad memories, and I just don't want to do it again.

queenofhearts1728 · September 2013

KonaCoffeeBean said:

If he is uncomfortable spending holidays with his family, then don't. I do not understand why this should preclude spending a holiday with your family.

We do Thanksgiving at my in-laws, and my dad and brother always go too. We have Christmas eve with my in-laws, and then we host Christmas day with my dad and brother. I haven't spent a holiday with my mother since high school. We don't have a bad relationship; but like your husband, I have bad memories, and I just don't want to do it again.

I don't want to spend the holidays with his family, but he's got the mentality that all family gatherings are bad for this reason. Which I can't blame him for as he's not experienced anything else.

He's agreed to come with me this year though for Thanksgiving, and we will spend Christmas on our own. I am hoping he enjoys it... I don't want to make it a yearly trip necessarily, but I would like it if, when I decide I want to spend the holidays with them, he would want to come with me. The holidays don't matter to him, but I know if I left him alone on a holiday I would feel horrible about it, even though he'd probably just play video games or something all day lol

MrsS728 · September 2013

Our moms are 10 mins away from each other so we visit both. This year we are in our first house so Christmas will be both sides at our house.

chibiyui · September 2013

Thanksgiving is with FI's family, Christmas is a multi-family marathon.

Disneygeek77 · October 2013

In your case, I like the idea of spending Thanksgiving with your family; however, I would also make a point to schedule some alone time, just the two of you.

jessicalang1978 · October 2013

We always have thanksgiving at our house and both of our families come so there is no issue there! For Christmas Eve, we go to my husbands family's house and then for Christmas we go to my sisters house. It works out really well.

Who do you spend holidays with?

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