Advice for bringing home second baby

JenD1018 · September 2013

J and #2 will be 22 months apart. We (H & I) talk about the baby and show him that it's in my belly but I don't think he really gets the idea.

I really want to keep J in his normal routine and he'll still go to daycare every day. I also will try really hard to make an effort to just have mommy time with him, especially since he's been kind of clingy lately.

Anyway, I'm looking for any advice/tips of things you did or didn't do when you brought home your second and how to ease the transition.

Jamiedoll01 · September 2013

A big one IMO would be to ask your friends/family to be on board with remembering to talk to J as his own person and treat him as such- make sure not every interaction with him begins with "Hey Big Brother!", and ask people to make it a point to hang with him a little when they stop by instead of always beelining to the baby. Aisling loves being a big sister, but even now I can tell when she's getting frustrated when all anyone talks about with her is her role as the big sister.

Amerbutt81 · September 2013

I actually asked a similar question to my SIL and she said it helped her older kids if they got to "help" with the baby- like handing Mommy and Daddy a diaper during changings, bringing over a pacifier, etc. My son is 23 months now, and I can totally see how that would work-- he loves to "help" Mommy and Daddy do things. He feels really proud and talks about it over and over again

kross605 · September 2013

I agree with the above and will also pass down advice from a friend that I found helpful. In the first few weeks, I treated the baby almost as an accessory. I know that sounds cold, but what I mean is that I didnt fawn over her and carry her around and sit on the couch staring lovingly into her eyes....I went on with my usual routine and just threw her into the mix.

If I was making dinner, I put her in the rock n play in the kitchen. If I was playing with M in the living room, the baby went on the floor next to us. If I had to nurse the baby, I got down on the floor and played with M while I was nursing her or sat on the couch and read M a book etc. (I dont have an issue with nursing in front of M). Basically, I tried to keep everything as much the same as possible for M and just took the baby along.

It gets harder to do that as the baby gets older, but by that time, M was so used to her sister and LOVED being a big sister so jealousy never was an issue. She was also 3 when A was born, so thats quite a different age. But the friend that gave me this advice had kids 14 months apart, so I think it could work at many ages, in addition to the ideas above about including the older sibling and paying a lot of attention to the older one too.

Advice for bringing home second baby

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