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How rude is it....

...to answer a text/call while talking with someone?  I was just curious on other peoples' opinions...  Well I was talking with my H earlier and we were in the middle of a conversation.  His cell beeped, text, and he totally stops talking with me and checks his phone.  So I'm sitting there, waiting...  Finally after he gets back to me, I ask him to finish his story..  Afterwards I tell him that it was very rude of him to interrupt our conversation to answer a text.  Just my opinion.  Not the end of the world at all, not making it one. 

 

BUT, what is your guys' opinions on it??  I think that when people do that they are basically saying that I can wait and whatever is on the phone is more important.  I take it as extremely rude.  I'm sure we all do it...  :) 

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Re: How rude is it....

  • Sillygirl45Sillygirl45 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2013
    Agree it is rude. However, sometimes where we are with our significant others, we can be unintentionally rude.
  • It really depends, was the text important? I find it rude that he took the time to answer it (unless it was important), but to look at it, not at all. 

    As for the phone ringing, I don't think it's rude at all, but I grew up in a house where if the phone rang, someone always ran for it. You never know who it was or if it might be an emergency. With a text, you can simply glance, see that it's a friend asking you about meeting up tomorrow night etc., and put it in your pocket. With a phone you can't know and then once you're talking, well it's kind of rude to just hang up because you're mom wasn't in the hospital and so and so just wanted to know if you were coming to visit next weekend....

    (fyi all the examples above are made up)
  • This is an "it depends" for me too.  In this day and age, the (somewhat sad) reality is that we're all pretty much available 24/7.  So at least LOOKING at a text is often "necessary" (even though, really, usually it's not.  But it' sjust the point of where society and technology are).

    Now- people do take advantage of this.  There are people who really CAN NOT be seperate from their phones and their phones always take precedence over the person in front of them.  These kind of people are probably more on the "rude" side of things.

    But - I'm a mom.  Many of my friends are moms.  I'm not bothered when they check their phone, or leave it out in case whoever has their kid calls or texts.  My DH - eh, we tend to be a bit more lax about this when w/ one another.  We're with each other SO much, I don't care if he checks or even replies to a text quickly.

    But if I'm w/ a friend who I've haven't seen in months and they are constantly checking their phone "just because" - then yeah, I'm going to be annoyed.
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  • I think it's more rude when I'm out with a friend who does this. Like, we purposely made plans to hang out with each other, put your phone away! It's okay if they are expecting a call that needs to be taken care of or if they check the text and say "sorry, I need to answer this" etc. If it were my H I would care less, but I guess it would depend on the conversation we were having. If it were serious conversation, it would really bother me but if we were just hanging out and chatting, I wouldn't really care. It also would depend on how long he took to answer the text/phone call.
    Anniversary
  • Okay, its good to hear your opinions.  My H does this all the time now.  He never did this while we were dating, never until we got married.  I think it is rude of him, its a text.  A text is never an emergency when it comes to what and who texts us.  If it was some sort of emergency they would call us not text.  It was not important and usually it never is.  He is so stuck with his phone it drives me crazy.  I think it bothers me more because this didn't start until we married, and I never do this to him.  I will finish talking with him, THEN check my text.    I just think this is very rude in my opinion, and it sucks that he only does this to me.  Perhaps if we were married for longer I wouldn't care much...  Just my thought...

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  • I think it's more rude when I'm out with a friend who does this. Like, we purposely made plans to hang out with each other, put your phone away! It's okay if they are expecting a call that needs to be taken care of or if they check the text and say "sorry, I need to answer this" etc. If it were my H I would care less, but I guess it would depend on the conversation we were having. If it were serious conversation, it would really bother me but if we were just hanging out and chatting, I wouldn't really care. It also would depend on how long he took to answer the text/phone call.

    I know I'm a bit late but this is how I feel. My cousin is constantly texting on her phone no matter what. We make plans for lunch and she's texting during it. She'll even text while I'm talking to her! Can't even wait for a pause.
  • Okay, its good to hear your opinions.  My H does this all the time now.  He never did this while we were dating, never until we got married.  I think it is rude of him, its a text.  A text is never an emergency when it comes to what and who texts us.  If it was some sort of emergency they would call us not text.  It was not important and usually it never is.  He is so stuck with his phone it drives me crazy.  I think it bothers me more because this didn't start until we married, and I never do this to him.  I will finish talking with him, THEN check my text.    I just think this is very rude in my opinion, and it sucks that he only does this to me.  Perhaps if we were married for longer I wouldn't care much...  Just my thought...

    Yeah, that would bug me. Let him know that you'd like him to try to check texts after you finish talking. If he can't do it, that seems like quite the problem. But maybe he just doesn't realize how much it bothers you. My DH is very easily distracted in general, so I get how annoying it is to be talking and get interrupted by something minor.
  • I have talked with him.  On numerous occasions.  It just happened...  Again.  I explained to him, again, why it bothers me and if he could please just stop with those sorts of things.  He says he will work on it.  Seems though that it will be all good for a few weeks then he goes back to it.  It is just frustrating and I don't wanna keep having to explain myself.  Then it makes me look like a nag, right??  Or that's what they call it when we repeat ourselves about something...  I just wish he would want to listen and be attentive not that I feel like I have to make him.  

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  • I have no problem checking it to see if it's important. And it if it needs a reply right away, I'm fine with that, too.

    However, I would expect the person to say, "Oh, hang on a minute. I need to answer this really quickly." If he just stopped talking and starting texting with no explanation or apology, I would feel slighted.
    image
  • Usually I would consider it okay for someone to answer the phone, providing they excused themselves, as phone calls are generally more urgent than texts. If someone really needs to talk to you now, they will phone instead of text. It drives me absolutely crazy when people send texts while out for coffee, supper, etc. I agree with the PP who said it makes whoever is on the receiving end of the text seem more important than the person they are physically with. Surely you can at least wait until a break in conversation or until your hour or two are up.

    Anniversary
  • Usually I would consider it okay for someone to answer the phone, providing they excused themselves, as phone calls are generally more urgent than texts. If someone really needs to talk to you now, they will phone instead of text. It drives me absolutely crazy when people send texts while out for coffee, supper, etc. I agree with the PP who said it makes whoever is on the receiving end of the text seem more important than the person they are physically with. Surely you can at least wait until a break in conversation or until your hour or two are up.

    Not necessarily. Texts can be a lot cheaper, and some of us have irrational issues with talking on the phone.

    Last night I was out to dinner with a friend, but I was supposed to drop something off at another friend's place after. She sent me a text to say that she wasn't feeling well, and would I be there in the next half hour, because she was going to bed. I excused myself and replied to her text that I was still at dinner and would come by after work the next day.  I needed to send her a reply within 30 minutes, but it wasn't so urgent that I needed to call her. Plus I don't need to worry about hurrying them off the phone. There's nothing worse than having to explain that someone needs to stop talking and hang up because you're talking to someone else. (This contributes to why I hate talking on the phone.)

    Also, I would much rather someone send or receive a text than have to sit there and hear half a conversation. It's weird to have the person talking to someone else, and it makes me feel like I'm being left out of the conversation. If it's an SMS, it's not as in my face.
    image
  • I don't answer texts or calls when I am with my DH or other people/person who I think deserve my undivided attention. The only 2 caveats are if my kids are with a baby sitter or I am expecting an important call (related to someone's health or to some financial/legal matter that I absolutely need to be on).

    With the two caveats I always tell the person I am with that A. My kids are with a sitter and I will check my phone or B. I am expecting a call for XYZ and could they please excuse me.

    I love technology, but I do not think it means we are freed up from manners just because it is so prevalent.

     

  • I don't answer texts or calls when I am with my DH or other people/person who I think deserve my undivided attention. The only 2 caveats are if my kids are with a baby sitter or I am expecting an important call (related to someone's health or to some financial/legal matter that I absolutely need to be on).

    With the two caveats I always tell the person I am with that A. My kids are with a sitter and I will check my phone or B. I am expecting a call for XYZ and could they please excuse me.

    I love technology, but I do not think it means we are freed up from manners just because it is so prevalent.

    I guess it's just you, your DH, and your kids? If something happened to my parents or my sister, I would absolutely want to know about it. Heck, if something happened to one of my good friends, I'd drop what I was doing and go to the hospital.

    Just because technology is prevalent, doesn't mean that it's destroying manners. Think of all those old films where the waiter comes and hands someone a note or tells them there's an urgent phone call.
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  • I personally think that anything that is connected with receiving a communication with a cell phone is rude and not necessary.

    People who check their messages/texts/emails nearly constantly: WHY?

    People who check to see who texts and is constantly texting this one or that one.

    And don't get me started on those who text during an important meeting, a date or while driving or walking.

    Put the phone away; check and see who has contacted you during your lunch hour and when you get home.
  • AMEN to that Tarpon!!!!!  Exactly how I feel. 

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  • I think it's more rude when I'm out with a friend who does this. Like, we purposely made plans to hang out with each other, put your phone away! It's okay if they are expecting a call that needs to be taken care of or if they check the text and say "sorry, I need to answer this" etc. If it were my H I would care less, but I guess it would depend on the conversation we were having. If it were serious conversation, it would really bother me but if we were just hanging out and chatting, I wouldn't really care. It also would depend on how long he took to answer the text/phone call.

    This! For me and DH I don't really mind unless we are having a serious talk. But it drives me INSANE when I am out with a friend and they are on their phone, answering every text that comes along. I took my one friend to a festival she wanted to go to, an hour away, and she was on her phone the whole time, texting another friend. At our wedding, our best man's FI played on her phone and texted the whole time. In my opinion, all of that is painfully rude.
  • If you really want to drive home the message you should walk away every time he stops your conversation to check his phone. In the time he spends replying to whatever text you have left him all alone. He'll catch on pretty soon I think. 
  • I get upset with H if he does this when we are eating either at home or in a restaurant. He used to text constantly while we would be having dinner and it annoyed the snot out of me. After I told him how rude it was and did the same to him while we were out on a dinner date he has almost completely stopped doing this. It still happens on occasion, but not nearly as often as it used to.  
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