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Broke up again with best friends brother...needing serious advice :(
I will try to make this short and sweet...but that isn't really possible at this point. But, I WILL try.
I am a senior in college and have been friends with my best friend since high school. About a year and a half ago, her older brother started hanging out with us when we would go out and do things on the weekend. Well, about 4-5 months ago, he talked to his sister about asking me out and then proceeded to do just that. I had a huge crush on him and looked forward to spending my weekends with my friend since I knew her brother would tag along to. Well, we started hanging out with his sister and her fiancée and then we started hanging out one on one. Things were going pretty well but he has a lot more experience than I do so things moved very quickly. Way more quickly than I was comfortable with. He has also shown a tendency to make rude comments and some of them seem borderline abusive. We have broken up in the past because I take all of these things very seriously and I feel that I lost my initial feelings towards him because of all of these smaller things. (the rude/abusive comments and just arguing back and forth in general). I care about him so much as a person but I am beginning to think of him more as a good friend rather than a boyfriend. We just broke up again today because I told him I wasn't sure that my feelings are where they need to be. I mean...he told me he loved me two days ago for the first time and it made me feel awful because I knew then that we weren't on the same page, at all. However, I am feeling sad right now because I think when I break things off with him, I start reliving all of the good memories and I feel like I want him back when I know in my heart that when we are together I'm just not happy. I never really had butterflies and I was never very excited at the thought of hanging out together or doing things together. I think I need to realize that I am only wanting him back because I am confusing those friend-like feelings. I think what it boils down to is that I don't want to lose him because I do care about him, just not in the same way that he cares about me. I know that I am being selfish in that respect and that I need to let him go so he can move on and find someone who is a better fit for him. I just need some good thoughts or opinions right now.
Re: Broke up again with best friends brother...needing serious advice :(
I think I really needed to hear that. I guess I just tend to overlook the bad and focus on the good. I'm still learning that things can't always be that way though. I just have always sucked at hurting people...especially people that I will still be associated with in some way. I am still very close with his sister and family so I have tried to talk myself into believing that it will be okay.
Way more quickly than I was comfortable with. He has also shown a tendency to make rude comments and some of them seem borderline abusive.
Bid this gent adieu.
he simply is not for you. And besides, who needs a guy who will pressure you into doing things you simply do not want to do or are not ready for?
Ugh. Lose him fast.
You think of him as a "good" friend? Sounds like he is "good" for nothing.
Please get yourself better friends and a better guy -- and try seeing a therapist so that you can nip this picking of losers in the bud that it came from. GL.
Take this as a lesson learned, don't piss in your own wheaties. Going forward, don't date people you work with or siblings of friends.