I seriously don't know why Jeff thinks his ex will ever change. The SAME THINGS happen, and H keeps thinking she'll step up... and she doesn't, and he gets mad/upset/etc. Meanwhile, I'm like yep, expected this, can we do what I wanted from the start?!
Last night I got the mail and put it on the counter and started dinner. H said his ex needed the number to pay the ER bill, even though I sent her the bill in the mail in July. She said she made a payment last month, because otherwise it was going to collections. I get the bill we got that said it was going to collections in 10 days for Jeff to get the numbers off for her. Then Jeff checks the mail I put on the counter and sure enough... there's the bill from collections. SOB! Luckily, we had 30 days to pay it before it went on his credit. I TOLD Jeff to call and make sure she made a payment, and if not do it. But, noOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo, he believes her that she paid.
We end up doing what I wanted to do - pay it, and take $50 out of support until it's paid off (which she agreed on). It just pisses me off that Jeff won't listen to me. But I have to the calm one to handle things when they fall apart, and pick him up from being upset. He asked if I was upset, I'm like no, because I knew this would happen, it always does. This is why I want to do things different everytime, because we know she won't pay things. She said she was scared to tell him she didn't pay it... ummm he's mad you didn't tell him!
Oh and yet last week she flipped on him for being a terrible father for not sending Ryan a card in the mail. Jeff tried calling him, but she wouldn't let him talk to his son, but he's the bad guy?! GAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think a phone call is more than a card. I mean, we do send cards for easter etc. We're going down the 27th for his birthday and his neice's wedding. She promised they could start skyping but that hasn't happen either. I really wish he would get this sh!t through the court. Sorry had to rant the rest of this crap or I'll explode.
Re: Definition of Insanity
He won't, he needs to at least get the CS done if nothing else. Especially since she made the comment that our monthly chunk of money isn't support. WHAT NOW?!
I do step away... a lot. I usually don't say anything about this stuff besides "how are the kids doing?". I can't handle the stress and not being able to do anything.
The Rowdy Roberts
It took a few years to realize I can't change things, Jeff has to... I was going crazy otherwise. Usually when he wants a pity party I say "well if you had it through the courts she wouldn't be able to do that..." We can find the money in the budget to do it, he can't use that excuse.