What do you do?

maybebaby2009 · September 2013

I have been have bitten by the baby bug!!

But as of right now, hubby and I are not trying to have one since he does not have a job. He is working part time, I work full time. So my question is, what do you fellow nesters do to avoid longingly looking at a baby, lol. I'm dabbling in crafts, I work a lot, meet up with friends...but I can't shake off wanting a baby.

Maybe I need another hobby :P

Any suggestions are welcome!!

cloudymeatballs · September 2013

Lol, just stick with normal life. Keep having sex, maybe just don't be as careful...

If you guys get pregnant then ok, if no, wait til it happens. You could just stop not trying, it can take a while to get pregnant for some people.

We are kind of at the point where we aren't not not trying. We want a baby, but in no hurry exactly. SO it will happen when it happens. Then when we are really really ready we will start paying more attention to ovulating and such....

Leftie22 · September 2013

I wanted a baby for years before I was in a good enough place to have one. I feel your pain. I would say try to enjoy the babies who are in your life (if there are some). I loved having a good snuggle with a friend or co-workers baby whenever possible and just really let myself enjoy it and dream about my own. Then, I'd slap myself back into reality by looking at my finances, or my need to finish University, or work enough hours to earn maternity leave. That seemed to help. You definitely want to be in a good financial place before kids. Not saying you have to be rich, but it would help a lot if your DH was working full-time. Until then, snuggle other babies, or go to the pet store and hold a kitten!

arhayden1 · September 2013

Right there with you. We have some debt we need to finish paying off before we will be in a place to bring a child into this house. I have a friend who is having a baby in October and I just found out my sister is expecting in April and two of my coworkers have recently had babies. I am baby crazy right now!!! But in my head I know that it is not the right time for us so I just play with the kiddos in my life until I can have mine. I don't know if that makes it easier or worse but its my only solice right now.

Toshi6 · September 2013

When the time for a baby in you life comes, he/she will come. We got pregnant soon after marriage & were definitely not planning on it. I don't have a job at the moment because I got fired from my last job. (Cut backs) but we're working it our. Things will work out no matter what the situation

JemmaWRX · September 2013

Do the things you CAN'T do once you have a baby! If your budget allows, travel. Even if you can't go to some exotic destination, I'm sure you can find some place that's new to you both and go visit for a long weekend. Go to sporting events. Go to a club and drink too much and dance your ass off. Just go out and LIVE!

I love children and I'm very excited to start a family with my husband. But until the time comes we're enjoying ourselves. I realize that once we have a kid we won't be able to just up and leave and do whatever we want to do. And that limitation is going to be there for a very long time. So we're spending our time having fun now.

Good luck and have fun!

amandamarie2 · September 2013

So many people in my life have recently had children or are currently pregnant that I'm going a little baby crazy (okay, a lot baby crazy) but DH and I aren't in a position to have kids yet. I love going to friends' places and holding their little ones. In a way it helps and in a way it makes it worse. However the stories of being up all night and the plans they have to cancel remind me to not rush the point in life we're at now. I'm looking forward to having kids in a few years but this is a pretty great time too.

lifeonthehill · September 2013

Keep other goals in sight! We are trying to pay off H student loans as fast as we can. I am working two jobs and making about the same he does from his one job. We should have it paid off by Christmas 2015 and we will stop birth control but not do ovulation tests or temp until that summer. If it happens it happens.
Keeping our money goal high on our priority lists keeps my head on straight. I know we will be better off without the debt and less stressed when a baby does come along.
Good luck! Maybe start a baby fund? Say you want X saved before you try just for baby things and H to have a full time job. It works to have goals!

GilliC · September 2013

Easy. I look at the babies.

Babies are cute until they puke on you while you're hurling down the highway with no place to pull over for 15 minutes during which you sit covered in regurgitated fruit puree. Or until they poop in a place where you have no good way to change them and end up popping a squat and spreading out your changing mat on the floor behind a trash can. Or until they scream bloody murder throughout an entire flight despite your best attempts to feed and distract them. Or until you turn down a free dinner at your favorite restaurant because it's in the middle of bedtime. Or until you start potty training and don't realize there's urine in the plastic potty until your friends come over and say, "What's that smell?"

And then I talk to the parents. "I'm not really sure I like having a baby." "We're definitely stopping at one." And then there's all the fighting among the couples who were happy before they had the additional stress.

Babies are awfully damn cute, but it's nice to be able to just hand them back when you're tired of them.

TarponMonoxide · September 2013

"Rent" 'em!:)

Why not volunteer as a mentor or a coach or some other type of leadership position at your local school, the Scouts or through your house of worship?

Volunteers are always needed.

There's also the Big Sister program. You might want to look into that -- a tween girl minus a mother or strong mother figure would be paired with you so that she can have an adult female to look up to and emulate.:)

Maybride2 · September 2013

Keep having sex, maybe just don't be as careful... If you guys get pregnant then ok, if no, wait til it happens.

^^ If you're serious - which I think you might be - you're an idiot.

Listen - while there might not ever be a "perfect" time to have a child, there are certainly better times than others. If you can readily admit that now is not a good time for you two to have a child, then you need to keep that in mind every time you start thinking about how much you want a baby. If you need a fix, offer to babysit for friends and relatives. If you want a reality check, start pricing out diapers and daycare in your area and look at your current budget - how much money would you have left over if you had to pay those now?

Having a child is hard. Yes, it's rewarding and fun too.......but it's effing hard. It's hard even when you were 100% financially and mentally ready to be a parent.

So spend this time of your life living in the now. Have fun. Go out with friends, have date nights with your husband, splurge and buy yourself a new purse, take a vacation. Do things that won't be as easy to do when you become a parent.

What do you do?

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