Nanny woes

micaht91 · September 2013

I've just recently married my best friend (August 24, 2013) and moved into a bigger home. I've been a nanny for 3 years now, all with the same little boy so I've gotten attached. Before I got married I was a full time student so making 225 for a 5 day work week worked out because I had financial aid to supplement income. Now that I'm married I've taken off a semester so I don't have that anymore. My problem is that when we got married my husband was without a job so I was the soul supporter of us (he's working now, just started.) and my pay was just enough to barely scrape by; but suddenly when I got married my employers started to claim they were broke and could only use me 3-4 days a week (45/day) and when I would say something it was always turned around that my husband needed to get a job (he was looking, the job market just kinda of sucks and his new job is awesome!! Worth waiting for) and how they couldn't afford to pay me more or use me more days. That wouldn't bother me so much, family helped me out, but they claim to be broke and eat out at expensive places every night and go on vacations where they don't work a day or so every few weeks and take off early to go to the movies and to lunch during the day and the big kicker is they are about to start putting a pool in the yard of their brand new (expensive) house. I'm so offended that they treat me like they don't care what happens and I've out them before me for the past 3 years. It's hard to quit because I've become attached to this child who I've had since he was a few months old. I just don't know. Is it time to move on? Has anyone else had experience with a boss who treats them badly/takes them for granted?

TarponMonoxide · September 2013

Tell these 2 to take a flying fook at the moon.

Attachment issues are one thing --- your bread and butter is quite another.

This is what sucks about working for a couple -- I am sure they paid you under the table. If they did not, you may have a case with your local unemployment office --- go down there and ask for a supervisor and say this is an hour and wage issue.

If you are being paid under the table, cut your losses and go. This is bad news and so are they.

This is $225 a week, for HOW many hours a day???

Even if this is a 5 day work week and 8 hours a day this works out to how much an hour.: WAY under minimum wage.

These couples looooooove to hire young kids and import bodies from overseas. They prey on the young and gullible.

Go work in a retail environment if your skill set level isn't up to par; you'll be better off working for $7.25 an hour and know they can't dick you around with hours or pay.

short+sassy · September 2013

I apologize ahead of time that my post will sound a little harsh, but I think you are looking at this the wrong way. Assuming they are paying you at least minimum wage for the hours you work, they have every right to decide they no longer need you any more than 3-4 days/week. If they would prefer to spend their money on expensive dinners and putting in a pool, than keeping you hired five days/week, that is totally their choice and is not for you to question. FYI, nor is it any of their business if your husband is unemployed or a millionaire. I realize this is a more personal relationship than most people have with their employer but, that is absolutely the way the business world works.

For example, in my previous job, I had to listen to corporate plead their "hard times" and banish all OT...while the VP I supported spent hundreds of dollars each week to take him and his project managers (sometimes clients) out to 4-star lunches and dinners. So, to an extent, I know where you are coming from. It was disgusting, disengenious (sp?), and did make me feel like the company didn't value their employees at all. But I also understood that it was their money to do what they want and really none of my business. If I didn't like it, I knew where the door was.

And that is the advice I am going to give you. If you are not making enough money at what you are doing or are feeling disrespected, then you need to find other employment STAT! I realize it will be hard to leave because of emotional attachments, but you're now a married adult and need to do what is best for YOUR family. In fact, here is the discussion I would have with them. I would get an offer of employment...even if it is something minimum wage. Tell the family that you have another job offer and, while you hate to leave, can just no longer afford to work for them unless they will guarantee you $225/week for x days/hours to be paid whether they use you for part/all of those hours. Quite frankly, that is the way most daycares work anyway. Families need to pay whether services are used or not. And, if they have EVER looked at the cost and rules for a traditional daycare, they will see you are a bargain . Good luck!

KonaCoffeeBean · September 2013

I completely agree with short+sassy. I think it's bizarre that the family is voicing an opinion about your husband's employment status. I also think if this family does not require child care five days a week, then they are wise to reduce your hours. It's a business relationship, do you spend money on services that you don't need? I certainly don't.

Tarpon is correct that you can make a claim for unemployment insurance for a reduction in hours. However, I am confused as to how she is "sure" that you are working under the table and getting paid less than minimum wage... maybe she knows you IRL.

micaht91 · September 2013

Tarpon doesn't know me, I assure you; but is correct. I'm paid under the table, so no chance at getting unemployment or anything like that. I work anywhere from 8-12 hours a day, usually around 10 but it's also not uncommon for me to work 12/14/16 hour days with no extra pay. I was hired young, just starting out in college and thought it was excellent pay. I've seen evidence to prove otherwise now and the issue of attachment is the only thing keeping me. When I've talked to them they say they aren't financially able to pay me more, which is why the pool and expensive dinners bother me. We've talked about me leaving and I was begged to stay and she even found someone else for me to keep during the day, as well, for extra money but that fell through after I turned down the job I was offered because I felt so bad leaving. I just feel that it was a rouse to get me to stay and then continue to pay me the same ridiculously low wages. When they hired me, it was with the stipulation that I would be working for them 5 days a week, for at least 3 years. I fullfilled that, and stayed because they asked me to, but feel they aren't holding up their end of the bargin. My hours are so erratic that I can't really find a 2nd job, or get my foot in the door anywhere else. (Some days I get off at 3, some I get off at 9 and don't know until the night before.)

chrisnjay05212010 · September 2013

Unfortunately it is their decision to say when they do and dont need you and they can do what they want with their money. I understand being upset about their choices but there is nothing you can do about it. It appears to me they are taking advantage of you, they know you have a bond with their child so they are paying you as little as possible and working you for the hours needed.

You need to move on, its time. I wouldnt even tempt them with the idea of another offer, they have screwed you over once. Find a new job and tell them unfortunately you need to do whats best for your family and move on.

micaht91 · September 2013

I guess I've made up my mind to find something else, so I'm actively seeking another job. Thank you all for your input, I really do appreciate it. I have a hard time reminding myself that its ultimately their choice how many days they want to use me and they don't technically owe me anything.

phillywife2007 · February 2014

Fellow Nanny here ! Congrats on getting married ! You definitely need to move on, which I know is hard, but you have to consider your happiness and future. Not sure what area you're in, but that salary does not sound like enough at all. It's definitely best to consistently see what your options are, sounds like you are being taken advantage of by the employer, which is very disheartening. I realize you posted this a while back, did you end up looking for another position ?

daisy662 · February 2014

I am shocked by pp's responses to your post. Although I understand the emotional aspect from your perspective, that you have grown to care for this child, you are forgetting an important piece - these are your employers. How they spend their money (though it may be irresponsible) is none of your business. You can be aggravated at the rate of pay you are receiving from them, but you agreed to this rate. Because your financial situation has changed and now you need more is not their problem. If you don't like it, find another job. I am appalled at pp who suggests you should go to the DOL. You were responsible for accepting this job. I don't mean to sound harsh, it sounds like you are a good nanny who really cares for the kids. Best of luck to you!

beetee123 · April 2014

Fellow nanny here! I think it's definitely time to find a new gig. I'm about to be in the same boat as you are here. I currently work for two families. My one family cancels at least once a week sometimes more because the parents are working from home or have something to do. I don't say anything to them about it simply because that is their right to come home early from work, but I can see why you are upset about the situation as I am upset about my situation as well. When I signed on with this family to work five days per week I cleared out my schedule. I currently have a daytime nanny job as well because this job is after school, but I can't pick up another job in retail or anything because I am at their home until 6, and most places want you to work evenings rather than just weekends. Basically, I can't have another source of income when I am scheduled to be working there, and it's hard to find a last minute job when they cancel for the day at 10 AM. At the very least you should have had a raise offered to you in the last three years, which would most likely result in you still being paid about the same despite the loss of that extra day. I don't think anyone understands just what a nanny goes through when it comes to pay and hours worked. I've seen tons of listings for full time jobs where they want you to work 45 hours per week but are only willing to pay $150. I get that times are tough, but you want someone to basically be giving your child hands on attention for 8-12 hours per day non-stop, but you want to pay them minimum wage. It just irks me that people will pay $100 for a dinner out, but skimp on childcare when really that should be one of their top priorities.

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