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Kindergarten and lying
Yesterday when I picked Cori up, she wasn’t very talkative and seemed a little sad or angry. (This is usual, and you’d think I’d learn to not ask how her day was, what they talked about, etc. But I miss her and would like to know, so I continue to ask.) Well, I figured I would just ask her for a hug. She gives me a half hug and mopes more. I give her a couple of minutes and come up to her and ask what was wrong, was she sad, did something happen, etc. She proceeds to tell me that she is sad because she was on yellow today. (Most kids have something similar – a behavior color chart where green is good, blue is really good, purple is exceptional. Yellow is a warning to make better choices and red is big trouble.) Each day I look in her folder because it shows her color for the day, and yesterday it was green. I tell her that she wasn’t on yellow, she was on green, and she tells me that she accidentally colored the square green instead of yellow (they color them and not use stickers) and her teacher said it was okay. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
I then asked what happened, and to make a long story short, she was very hesitant to give me details, but she tells me she almost hit someone in the face because he was making fun of her and said she was stinky. She said she apologized but she was put on yellow. She finally revealed his name was Logan and she was so, so sorry and she would make better choices. So I told her okay, but as a punishment, no movies that night, and we talked about what to do when someone makes fun of you. She even asked follow up questions about “well, what if they follow you, etc”. She didn’t want me to tell her Dad, and I said okay, because you will. When he got home, she didn’t want to tell him but I enforced it. Fast forward a few hours and I figure I’m going to email her teacher just to see what happened, if Cori did indeed apologize, etc.
Turns out Cori made the whole thing up!!!! Her teacher emailed me back to say Cori was on green all day and there was no incident and there is no Logan in the class…. What the heck?!?! I didn’t know if I should be relived or embarrassed.
I told Cori I talked to her teacher who said she was on green all day, and Cori proceeds to break down crying saying she is sorry she made it up. Turns out she heard that story at daycare or something… OMG I don’t know what I’m going to do with this girl, and worse off, I have no idea what I can believe anymore! Her teacher said that one of the kids in the class (who is a twin and both kids are in the class) said his sister broker her leg and was in a cast up to her hip. In walks the sister the next day.... Ugh!! Is this that common for this age, or ??
Re: Kindergarten and lying
She is also typically a grump after I pick her up at daycare. and I am more likely to get stories about her day out of her at bedtime than in the car ride home.
Honestly I never know what to believe sometimes with dd! Some of it is not wanting to tell the truth, but some of it is imagination, confusion, misinterpretation.
One of the first days at dd's new after school place her teacher told me she got really upset at lunch and wouldn't stop crying and wouldn't tell her why. So I asked dd and she told me that she wanted to eat her fruit cup first and couldn't open it but her teacher wouldn't open it for her and told her she couldn't eat it first. I found that strange so I asked the teacher and she said that dd started crying before she opened her lunch. So I have no idea what happened. I'm not sure that dd was lying but maybe misinterpreted something!
Anyways I don't think making things up is too abnormal. I would just talk to her about not lying and that she can always tell you the truth, etc
I feel like part of what you said above April is Cori 24/7! Cori had a similiar food issue a few months bakc - told me that she was in time out at daycare because she wouldn't eat her peas and she had to miss recess. Something didn't seem right, so I called the teacher and it turns out while they do enforce the "one bite" rule, they never yelled at C or put her in time out. Apparently, hours later when they went out to recess, C took it upon herself to just sit in a chair for 15 mins??? So odd!!
And Amanda, I had to LOL at E calling up family members pretending to be someone else - nice!!
"imagination, confusion, misinterpretation. "
YUP! We still have this with Gavin. What I do is go straight to the source and ask. At this age, I'm confident that the teachers know that the kids are dramatic, confused, etc. and I'm sure they appreciate you looking for the truth (versus assuming your child is always in the right), you know?
Sometimes, it's just for attention. It sure makes me feel like crud, that my kid has to go to extremes for attention!
Hang in there!
My three sons!
Maybe there was a kid bothering her, and she did think about clocking him, and her telling you the story was a way for her to judge what your reaction would have been.
Now--when DD makes up things like saying Nolan did something when it was really her, or says she ate her dinner when she didn't, we address those as lying incidences and remind her it isn't OK to lie.
Of course "Nathan" in her K class told her yesterday (on the day she lost her very first tooth) that the Tooth Fairy is actually her mom, so I don't know how much longer the Santa threat will work!
Maybe Cori will be an author some day!
DD fibs some, but it's never been very elaborate - and we always know she's doing it. The little girl down the street seems to lie all the time, but her older brother calls her out on it every single time.