who would you tell if your spouse was caught cheating?

NAJ · October 2013

I had suspected and finally found out. My life is private but I wanted to take it all in and I was thing to go to a therapist or talk to some one close so I can figure what I want to do. I want to be sure of my decisions before I tell someone close.. What would you do??

Leftie22 · October 2013

I think it depends what you're planning to do. If you might end up staying with this person, you might not want everyone to know he cheated and you forgave him. If it's totally over (which it would be for me), I'd only tell people I was close to, and no details. Just that I'm leaving because he cheated. I'd probably only tell my sister and maybe eventually my parent. If you really aren't sure what you're going to do, why not talk to a therapist first, sort yourself out and then decide from there. That would be better than involving a family member or friend in an awkward situation. Good luck.

Disneygeek77 · October 2013

I think a counselor or therapist is an excellent idea, no matter what you decide.

tiffanysbride · October 2013

I would probably tell a close friend, our pastor and a counselor. Honestly I don't believe that secrecy is ever a good thing when something awful is going on in a marriage. Not saying I would run to family members, but you are entitled to feel and act how you need to without protecting your husband's good image. Things don't change when they are allow to stay hidden. You did nothing wrong and deserve whatever support you need no matter what your decision.

NAJ · October 2013

thanks for the helpful post

TarponMonoxide · October 2013

Not a good idea to stay with him.

Once a cheater always a cheater plus you now do not trust the guy.

A counselor is a great idea, so is a clergyperson's advice if you are active in your faith or somewhat are.

SusanH. · October 2013

I'd probably tell anyone and everyone because the marriage would be over. There are no 2nd chances.

However, if you decide to forgive and stay married, I suggest only telling therapist. Why? I know someone who told everyone with DETAILS and then went back with him. Everytime I see them, I remember what he did and cant believe she stuck with him. I think she is nuts for staying with him.

NAJ · October 2013

I understand and I do feel like the trust is lost but need to make a plan but with communication with possibly someone

..

DaringMiss · October 2013

www.survivinginfidelity.com

It is a website devoted to people whose relationships have experienced infidelity. There are forums for betrayed spouses and wayward spouses. Some couples tried to reconcile, some break up/divorce. The community is very supportive. Go there and release all of your frustrations.

TarponMonoxide · October 2013

NAJ said:

I understand and I do feel like the trust is lost but need to make a plan but with communication with possibly someone
..

The trust IS lost. Shot to hell completely.

Take my advice and show him the door. Once a cheater always one.

ruthevans41 · October 2013

Sometimes you should find out the reason for her to do this, speak it to her try sorting it out with her personally and if you ready to forgive her then its okay, if not then definitely speak to someone elder in the family that would help you in taking decisions about whether you should stay with her or leave her. Because you can't keep hurting yourself for anybody mistakes .So choose a better option and make a wise decision.

who would you tell if your spouse was caught cheating?

Re: who would you tell if your spouse was caught cheating?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards