Is it time to quit?

arolik · August 2013

Several months before my husband and I got married, I decided to move in with him, which caused my daily work commute to jump from a few minutes to over an hour each way. I have now been driving my "extreme commute" of 105 miles per day for over a year.

My job is my first "real" job out of college. I have been working there for 3 years now. I enjoy it, but I feel that I am ready to move on, partially because of the commute, but also because I am just ready for something new. It has been a great first job, but there isn't any opportunity for me to move up, and the pay is not that great. In fact, I spend about a third of my income on gasoline.

The irony is, that because my commute makes for such a long day, I have little to no time to look for a new job. I have had recurring thoughts about simply resigning and focusing on a job search. I'm worried that would be a horrible career decision, not to mention, my husband and I do depend on the little bit of cash that I do bring in. Realistically, I could find a lower-paying, or even minimum wage job, close to home until I am able to secure a better one, and it wouldn't make a huge difference financially. But again, is that a poor choice career-wise?

I'm asking because my current method of job searching here and there when I can squeeze it into my schedule is NOT working, and moving closer to my current job is not an option. We like where we live and my husband already has a good job close to where we live. The ultimate goal is to find me some work close to home...and given my current working/driving schedule, it seems like an impossible task.

What would you do?

queenofhearts1728 · August 2013

i went through a similar situation with my SO. He hated his job and wanted to leave, and spent a good amount of time (perhaps close to a year when it was all said and done) attempting to find new work while staying at his old company. I used to get on him all the time about applying for at least ONE job per day. I felt that was reasonable and completely doable if he put himself to it. But he was so burnt out that when he got home he didn't want to do anything but sit and relax... so job hunting was never really consistent and he felt stuck.

Eventually, he just quit. I still feel that one job app per day is reasonable, but I didn't notice how stressed he was until he had left the company he was with. It completely changed him! His quitting definitely made things a little tight, but we are able to pay our bills on my salary alone, we just need to be careful about what we buy for "extras". He has been out of work for about 3 months, but he is going to be starting school this week, which I am incredibly excited about. He's been wanting a career change anyway and the lack of income was the kick in the butt he needed to get going on SOMETHING.

I don't know that what he did would work for you, but I think it was a great decision for us. It took away the stresses in his life to focus on what he really wanted. If you feel comfortable living on one salary for awhile, I would say go for it - just know that it might be for longer than you estimate. (We had enough in savings to cover his half of expenses for those 3 months, and now that has run out so we are relying on my salary alone.. but I am OK with that if he is in school, as he paid for me while I was finishing college.)

If you don't feel comfortable leaving just yet, I'd say focus on submitting one application per day

good luck!

arolik · August 2013

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I have always thought that eliminating the stress of my current job and commute would allow me to refocus. The problem is that it would be difficult to go any length of time on one income.

Also, I can only speak for myself, but one application per day sounds so draining! When I only have a couple of hours of free time per day, much of the time gets sucked up by daily chores and errands. When that's all done, it's hard to make myself focus on a job application when I am usually so exhausted.

Because of all of that, I can totally relate to feeling stuck. It's why I'm starting to consider applying to lower level jobs that will pay the bills until I figure out what's next.

TarponMonoxide · August 2013

If you've got a chance for a much better opportunity, by all means, move on.

That, and a close to home commute, is second to none.:)

queenofhearts1728 · August 2013

maybe it's because i'm in a job i like, but it doesn't seem hard to fill out one app per day. at most, it would take up an hour of your time. BUT after seeing my SO after he quit his job and how much happier he was, i understood why he couldn't do it. he was so drained emotionally, he couldn't put his best foot forward when looking for a new career, and the few hits he got when he was trying to didn't pan out, i assume because he wasn't enthusiastic about any prospects due to being so down all the time, he just didn't seem like a good 'fit' anywhere.

i think doing something low level would be a great possibility! it would at least get you some income while you look for something better. just don't get stuck in a whole new rut of being in a low-end job you hate!

edit: delete the quote. for some reason it all ran together!!

MommyLiberty5013 · August 2013

I quit a job before I had the next one lined up and it was not ideal. It was stressful and every day that I didn't get a new job, I felt horrible. My advice is to stick where you are and do your searching online and fill out your job apps over the weekends or in your spare time during the week.

Yes, it will mean sacrificing fun activities or spending time with your DH, but it would be for a short term time. And, the pay off for the effort will be worth it.

anssett · August 2013

Focus on networking to find another job instead of sending out resume after resume. Also, get tailored applications is better than tons of generic ones.

Definitely get the new job before quitting!

NADA-H · September 2013

I'm in the same place as you are. I've just gotten married and came back from my honeymoon 10 days ago back to reality.

We do not move in together until the wedding so I went from living at home with a dedicated full time mom, my family, and a maid to moving in with my husband with no help with a 8-5 job and a 1 hour commute each way too, I get home at 6pm and I go around like crazy trying to cook, clean, load and unload the dish washer and washing machine and tidy up and get to bed early because I get up at 5:30am with my husband to have breakfast before he leaves to work. I get someone to help me out once in the week and once in the weekend+ mom helps me. my husband does help a lot but there are things I just can't ask him to do because I want them done in a certain way or it's faster or neater and better if I do it myself (rings a bell?) so I'm currently driving myself insane trying to perfect everything while keeping a full time job in construction management.

I've been with my company for 3 years and it's the first real job I ever got too after graduating but I never got an increase and I've been thinking these last 10 days that it just isn't worth it anymore. I'm ready for a new place, new experiences, an increase, and less working hours and I'm getting the same advice "do not leave until you secure the next job"

filling generic online applications never helped me ever but networking like anssett said is the best way to go, word of mouth will get you places ask people you know if they know if anyone is hiring within your field and contact anyone who offered you a job before and see if they are hiring, this is what I'm currently planning on doing, when I catch a break!

marcyrenee15 · September 2013

I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one having this same dilemma! I'm not sure what it was about the wedding and honeymoon, but my first day back was the worst day of work EVER and every single day after has been even worse! I used to love my job and for some reason now I absolutely hate it! I have been here for close to 4 years sort of 'stuck' in the same crappy position, last week I sat down with my boss to discuss other opportunities in the company, but I feel at this point, I just need to start over with a new company. Most people tell me that it's easier to find a job while you already have a job but it leaves me with no time to look for another! Plus with the wedding and everything I am out of PTO for the year, therefore can not miss any work for interviews, etc. I have a second job bartending so I can pick up extra shifts to cover my income, but I worry it will look bad on resumes to have a gap in employment, although I think most women (at least they used to) would quit working when they got married. I just feel stuck, depressed and stressed out constantly and it's a horrible way to start out our marriage being so unhappy all of the time. But I'm glad to know that I'm not alone!

NADA-H · September 2013

I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one having this same dilemma! I'm not sure what it was about the wedding and honeymoon, but my first day back was the worst day of work EVER and every single day after has been even worse! I used to love my job and for some reason now I absolutely hate it! I have been here for close to 4 years sort of 'stuck' in the same crappy position, last week I sat down with my boss to discuss other opportunities in the company, but I feel at this point, I just need to start over with a new company. Most people tell me that it's easier to find a job while you already have a job but it leaves me with no time to look for another! Plus with the wedding and everything I am out of PTO for the year, therefore can not miss any work for interviews, etc. I have a second job bartending so I can pick up extra shifts to cover my income, but I worry it will look bad on resumes to have a gap in employment, although I think most women (at least they used to) would quit working when they got married. I just feel stuck, depressed and stressed out constantly and it's a horrible way to start out our marriage being so unhappy all of the time. But I'm glad to know that I'm not alone!

You are not alone, it's easier to find a job while your on a job, I grab onto my sick leave days when I have a cold or something and do take them when I'm feeling miserable like you said. Try to use floating days, or take unpaid days off when you have interviews etc it's truly better when you are within the working loop. But I do need to start over somewhere new and I do feel miserable and stressed out and depressed because of where I've been stuck for 3 years now, I used to love it too but it turned into routine and it's been a derived field of what I actually went to school to study so that alone is making me so annoyed. But I'm actively looking now. Stick in there

calliewmu · September 2013

I think you should definitely not quit your current job until you have another job lined up. Part of being an adult is doing things we don't want to do, which really sucks, but at least it means a steady income while you actively work to make your situation better. I know it's hard to fit in job searches in your free time. I had to do it while working full time at a job I hated, commuting an hour each way to and from work, and attending a Ph.D. program full-time during my evenings. I still managed to make it work, so I'm sure it can be done.

Are there any professional organizations for your career field? I found it useful to peruse job postings on the website for the state chapter of the biggest professional organization for my career field.

I would also suggest saving up those sick days for job interviews and searches. If you can take a day off here or there to devote the entire day to job searching or interviews, that will really help you out.

Best of luck!

cordsniper · October 2013

Unless you have the savings necessary to sustain yourself, it is never advisable to quit a job before you have another lined up. I have personally seen the stress, fear and humility that comes when you do it.

Bring a lunch and use that time to search/apply while eating. Make calls on your commute. Use your weekends.

srfr8908 · October 2013

Do you even have some personal days you could take? Even if it's just one day, it might be worth it to take that time to look for other options/send resumes out.

mharris141 · October 2013

I would focus on networking and finding new opportunities for yourself. Something closer to home and something that will make you happy. Even if you have close relationships with your coworkers, maybe they could help you.

Jaje09182010 · October 2013

I find it is always easier to find a job when you already have a job- a lot of companies see that as an advantage.

SarahonInternet · October 2013

Don't do it, it makes finding a new job so much harder! Employers are suspicious of employees who quit without having another job, no matter your intention it makes you looks flaky and you could be eliminated from an otherwise perfect match.

lettiebird · November 2013

I've always heard to stay in a job until you've got a new one. That is solid advice, and I have to go against it in this case. I had a situation a few years ago where I was working at an office filled with miserable people who fought all the time. I stayed out of all these arguments and just did my work. For the first few months, that worked fine. But gradually that job began to change me. One day I noticed that they had made me just as miserable as they were. They stressed me out at work and I brought the stress home. I was short tempered with people I loved, even when I knew they didn't deserve the caustic reaction I was spewing. I just had so much of that built up over the work day that I had to get it out afterwards. So I decided that in order to go back to being who I was, I had to quit. My parents urged me to find another job first, and I listened. The problem with that plan was that the economy was not good right then and few jobs were available. And since I had identified my job as the reason for my daily stress, I resented going to work. I totally checked out on my work and wanted to focus on finding a new job. Though I wanted to go fill out applications whenever I could, I simply had no time. Since I wasn't invested in my job, my work began to decline in quality and I ended up getting fired. Thankfully, my parents were willing to help me financially for a bit, so it worked out all right. But I made up my mind after that that when a job started reducing the quality of my life, I would get out asap.

I know that doesn't apply exactly to your situation, but it does sound like this job is reducing the quality of your life. In terms of financial concerns, you may actually save money by not having to spend so much on gas. That's only a short term benefit though and sometimes job searches become long term things. But as you noted, you could always get a lower paying job closer to your home. I see both sides of the coin here. I'd say to leave and get a job closer to you, but that's just my opinion.

Is it time to quit?

Re: Is it time to quit?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards