What do you say.....

leamide · October 2013

We decided to wait a year until after we were married to start trying to have a baby. We didn't really tell anyone, but I didn't think it was anyone else's business either. We have always just said; "when the time was right we would start a family". Well, the year is up and I just recently gone off birth control, I'm not sure how long it will be until I get pregnant, but we have had my husband's mother asking us often and some other family and friends asking us when we are going to start a family.

What do we say to them??? Or do we say nothing at all?

We are following the doctors suggestions to "just have fun with it" (getting pregnant) and not to stress over the "little" things while trying. Just need some advice on what one says to those who ask? Thanks!

R.Wilsonny · October 2013

Personally, I think it's pretty rude for anyone to constantly ask you something that is so personal and private. I mean, if they ask once, that's one thing, but repeatedly is just rude. If you don't feel comfortable telling them, you don't have to. I'd just say 'when the time is right/when it happens we'll let you know' then change the topic.

Luckily my family leaves us alone about this subject. I'm a 'late bloomer' with everything in life so far, so it's pretty much understood that when I have any news about anything major, I'll let them know. I'm actually surprised IL's haven't asked but I've pretty much made it known that I'm a private person and am thankful they haven't asked any questions.

LittleLady77 · October 2013

We were married for 4 years before conceiving, mostly because it took us 3 years. When people would ask we would just say someday. If people got pushy about it I would say "it's not that easy for everyone" followed by a wildly dirty look.

Xan921 · October 2013

When people initially started asking we'd respond with "We're enjoying just being married for now" and then it turned into "Eventually, when the time is right for us" and now I say "When we stop being broken" and that usually shuts people up pretty fast.

CincodeMayoLove · October 2013

People mean well when they are asking most of the time. I used to respond with "we'll let you know when it happens" or "It wont' be as fun when we announce to you, if you keep asking and know when it's coming" for family or BFFs, or whatever. Then around year 2-3 I said "whenever we are blessed with one, we will let you know" or if I thought they were overstepping boundries I have been known to say "How often are you and your husband having sex? What's your favorite positions?... Oh I thought since we were asking wildly personal questions about the bedroom...." Then around year 4-6 I said "we want kids, but it's not that easy for everyone" that ususally shut them up... I'd say at your stage keep it light.

LooneyLife · October 2013

I've actually never been asked this. But I think that's because people assume we can't have kids because of my husbands injury. I've always thought about how I would respond though if someone asked. I have all these great responses in my head but I'm pretty sure I'd get nervous and giggle some stupid response.

Uptowngirl2009 · October 2013

My go-to response (after "We're just enjoying being married" or "We're too busy living out our 50 Shades of Grey fantasies) was "When God decides to bless us with a child, we'll have one." Now that people know about our IF they don't ask anymore.

Good luck to you!

spongebobsquarepanties · October 2013

At first, my response was "Eventually.". When people are pesky or pushy, it was "I will let you know when the time comes" or if I was particularly irritated, "I guess you will find out if you see me with a baby."

Now, I just say"not for a long time". Anyone that deserves my answer, already knows about my IF, so they don't ask other than about how my appointmens are going, etc. Those that don't know, I just try to indicate not to expect anything.

At the beginning it was very important to me to indicate that it was a future desire but not to indicate that we were trying. I didn't want the pressure and it's really nobody's business.

lb1117 · October 2013

spongebobsquarepanties said:

At first, my response was "Eventually.". When people are pesky or pushy, it was "I will let you know when the time comes" or if I was particularly irritated, "I guess you will find out if you see me with a baby."

Now, I just say"not for a long time". Anyone that deserves my answer, already knows about my IF, so they don't ask other than about how my appointmens are going, etc. Those that don't know, I just try to indicate not to expect anything.

At the beginning it was very important to me to indicate that it was a future desire but not to indicate that we were trying. I didn't want the pressure and it's really nobody's business.

I felt this way too. I didn't want to sound like I meant "never" but getting asked over and over again was hard. Usually my answer was "someday". Once we started to confide in people about TTC, we would refer to our "Someday Baby". That became our standard response.

What do you say.....

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