October 2012 Weddings
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Realtionship with MIL

I try to do things with my MIL but she always has an excuse. 

How's your relationship with your MIL?
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Re: Realtionship with MIL

  • we don't speak.  so...sounds like yours is better considering you actually WANT to spend time together. ha
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  • @aro1589 oh wow haha... how does the H feels about that?
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  • mrshall1027mrshall1027 member
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    edited October 2013
    Ours is pretty good.  She comes to visit often to see her granddaughters and we get along really well.  I don't call her to chit chat, but we still have a good relationship.  The only complaint I have is that she tries to "help" around the house but ends up rearranging things or buying decorative items that I feel obligated to use even though I'd never buy them to begin with.
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  • He understands why we don't get along.  It's such a long story.  MIL lost custody of H when he was 8 and he was raised by his grandparents.  He has forgiven her and realizes this was for the best and that she couldn't take care of him.  But she has never done anything to make it up to him as an adult.  She's been rude to me our entire relationship and has always held it against me that I went to college and that H moved here to be with me.  She has made anti-Semitic remarks in front of me (my family is Jewish) and never apologized.  She was stand-offish to my parents at the wedding and is all around a miserable person and makes everyone around her miserable.  She's also incredibly vulgar.  Every other word is the "F" word.  this was the main reason I didn't like her right off the bat.  I don't want my children to be around someone with such terrible habits. 

    I'm sure H would love it if we got along but he knows that will ever happen and doesn't push the issue.  We live a state away so that helps. 
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  • I love my MIL, she is awesome! We don't see each other too often, but we do have random chats on Facebook.
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  • MIL and I have a great relationship.  Her and I do dinner together just the two of us once in a while.  Whenever she calls me I'm on the phone with her for at least 20 minutes.  DH always jokes when she calls, "See you in an hour."  I say the same to him when she calls him though too.  She's just a really nice person.

  • Its meh. She feels H didn't come back to NC after getting out of the army because of me. And now she keeps calling us fancy and rich which really bothers us. Especially since now she's dating a super rich guy right now.

    She just finds things to b!tch about, it just makes visiting very trying... Most recently, she doesn't understand why we can't be down on Christmas every year. We will be down a day or two after Christmas every other year. She doesn't understand I want to have Christmas day with mine... Its all about her.

    I'm waiting for the time I can't bite my tongue.
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • @aro1589 OH WOW!! I don't blame you... 

    Don't get me wrong, MIL is a nice person and I have lover for her. We do talk and especially if we are on the phone its like 30 mins convo like @seipel12 lol.. Maybe she still adjusting lol.
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  • Does arguments occur due MIL subjects?
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  • Oh, my MIL is a real treat. My H is the youngest of 7 children and she still thinks he is the baby, even though he is 38 years old. She is very passive agressive to me. In the almost 4 years that H and I have been together, she and I have never once had a phone conversation. She randomly sent me a message on FB yesterday talking about how excited she is about the baby. I have yet to respond and probably won't. I try to limit my interaction to her as much as humanly possible.

     I tell H that this makes me feel like a giant bitch, but he understands and claims he feels the same way.

    Oh, and she talks crap about my BIL's wives and ex-wives. I wonder what she says about me to them, ugh.

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  • DH and I have had several fights because of MIL and FIL.  They are very generous people, and when we first got our house they wanted to help us out a lot.  They kept having conversations and fixing things without telling me.  It started to drive me INSANE.  I felt like I didn't have a say in anything that was happening to our house.  I felt like I wan't even part if anything, FIL would come over and just move stuff like the trash cans of shovels.  Things have tamed down and they still offer to help a lot.  I know that they have the best intentions but I get really uncomfortable with gifts, and they tend to over step boundries.  I'm getting better at accepting their generosity as well.  I know it's a weird thing to get upset about, but it really bothered me to not be involved in my own house!

    I'm fearful for when we have kids.  I think it's going to be another power struggle like the house was.  I just have to keep reminding myself that they just have bg hearts and mean the best.

  • I also wonder how it will be when we have kids... guess time will tell 
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  • I used to have a fairly close relationship with my MIL, but since she and FIL have been having issues, I haven't really been spending much time with/around her.
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  • I am close with MIL.  Ils live about an hour away, so I am usually with H when I see her.  I have gone to visit without him though.  We don't talk on the phone and when she calls, H usually hangs up before giving me the phone.  We text a lot.  H gets jealous when she texts me about something and not him.

    I love MIL a lot and I enjoy spending time with her.  I value her opinion and sometimes take hers over my own mother.  I know she loves me very much also.  When I had the miscarriage she was very concerned, even offered to take me to my D&C. 

    I consider myself lucky and I know most people don't feel the way I do about their MILs.  Most of my friends can't believe I feel that way because their MILs are crazy, literally.
  • I'm close with my MIL. We have a very good relationship. I spend a lot of time with her without H around. We go shopping and to concerts and all sorts of stuff. She really is like another mom to me. I got really lucky that I married into such a great family, especially hearing how some in-laws aren't!! I even went to the beach by myself with the in-laws when H could only come for two days earlier this summer. 

    While I'm grateful that I'm so close and have such a good relationship with my in-laws, they hated me when they met me. They used to call H when we were away at college and ask if he'd dumped me yet because "a relationship isn't going to work out if your family doesn't approve." haha, at least they came around!
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