hhg

annie&brianm · October 2013

TarponMonoxide · October 2013

You've got a right to have one one one time with you and he needs to honor that right.

Why can't he have just one night out with the guys? One night a week should be fine.

kss20 · October 2013

How many nights a week are you TOGETHER with friends?

cloudymeatballs · October 2013

I would tell him. Having to have to ask for more time with him when he obviously has it, I would get a little bitter too. How many nights does he go hang with his boys? I would ask him to do that once a week and hang with me the remaining. I mean, I love making dinner at home with me and H. It is something I love and enjoy being married. Hope you can talk with him and he will understand.. Good luck!!!

cutiepie0104 · October 2013

cloudymeatballs said:

I would tell him. Having to have to ask for more time with him when he obviously has it, I would get a little bitter too. How many nights does he go hang with his boys? I would ask him to do that once a week and hang with me the remaining. I mean, I love making dinner at home with me and H. It is something I love and enjoy being married. Hope you can talk with him and he will understand.. Good luck!!!

Make Designated time fore eachother.

DawnLilly · October 2013

DH works 12 days on 2 days off. Most days he's up at 4, I'm up and to work by 8, he comes home 9am - noon then goes back to work. I get home at 6 and he may be home any time between 7pm-11. So... The only nights we MIGHT be able to spend time together is every other weekend IF we get a babysitter and IF one of our huge families isn't doing something. I'm not trying to be snarky but if you are even devoting one night a week to each other only, I think you are probably ahead of the game.

cordsniper · October 2013

DawnLilly said:

DH works 12 days on 2 days off. Most days he's up at 4, I'm up and to work by 8, he comes home 9am - noon then goes back to work. I get home at 6 and he may be home any time between 7pm-11. So... The only nights we MIGHT be able to spend time together is every other weekend IF we get a babysitter and IF one of our huge families isn't doing something. I'm not trying to be snarky but if you are even devoting one night a week to each other only, I think you are probably ahead of the game.

While your schedule is horrible, I don't think the OP is overreacting. I would be very disappointed both both schedules. Two to three nights a week with the hubby is optimal.

EastCoastBride · October 2013

Hmmm... So, in 6 days - YOU get 2 days to yourself to do what you want, see your friends, etc. All the while he's working. Then he gets off and you want 3 out of the 4 nights he has off to be dedicated to JUST you.

Eh, I'll be honest- I think you're being a tad unreasonable. Of the time that isn't JUST the 2 of you - how much of it ARE you together? If he's entirely spending those 4 nights away from you - o.k., that is a problem and if that's the case, ok. - I may have to amend my response.

But if some of those nights include you... I think it's fair of him to want to use some of this time to see other people too.

You say you both have big families, and he has friends. He's supposed to cram time w/ his friends and (at least) his family into 1 night?

This is coming from someone whose DH works 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. He USED to work 2 weeks on and only ONE week off. I get it- our time together can be wacky and sometimes I start to feel a little distant.

But years ago (actually, before he got into this career), I started to look at ANY time we were together as quality time. Running errands to Home Depot? At least we were doing it together. Going out to dinner w/ friends? We were together AND we were having a good time w friends.

To me, doing things w/ other people also builds our relationship. We enjoy spending time w/ our friends. And as long as we're there together - I appreciate it.

Then throw in the fact we have a kid too? Honestly, this concept of "Oh- we need to have 3 days EVERY WEEK to be just the 2 of us" kind of makes me laugh. We live in a busy world and when you add that on top of having friends and family to see too.... I can't imagine his desire to be social, be involved in his activities, and so forth, comes as a shock to you.

arhayden1 · October 2013

I have got to agree with the above poster. He only has 4 days off and you said two of those he is spending with you I think its completely normal for him to want to spend a couple nights also with his friends and family. If it irritates you that much have you thought about doing group friend things. So weeks me and my husband are lucky to get one night togehter just the two of us so to me 2 nights is very reasonable.

Kimbus22 · October 2013

I'm with ECB. Demanding he spent 3/4 of his free time only with you is a bit much. I get that you're ready to see him after his 2 days at work but HE's just been "on" for two days and needs to blow off some steam. He's not getting that 2 days of alone time you get.

But DH works days, I work nights and we have one kid and another on the way. So our "together time" consists of changing diapers and running errands. We get maybe 1-2 hours two nights a week when the kid is in bed and we're both awake. If we get one child free entire evening to ourselves once every few months it's a lot.

Leftie22 · October 2013

I agree with Kimbus22 - I'm in a very similar boat, have a 2 year old son and a baby on the way. Even though I'm a SAHM and DH works days, our "together" time is frantically trying to feed us all when he gets home, getting DS ready for bed, DS is in bed by 8, and we go to bed at 10. So we have two hours of "alone" time in the evening, but often he will be working on huge car, etc, and I'll be prepping dinner, doing laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. we maybe have one evening a week where we actually do something together. Life gets busy. As long as you keep some time aside every week for your relationship, I think you're doing well. And you both need your unwind time.

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