Money Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Worried about daycare costs next year.

Hi ladies. I need your advice or at least sympathy. :)

DH and I both work full-time. He is in the Coast Guard and I work for an aerospace company. DD has been in daycare since she was 3 months. She is currrently in a home daycare. We were surprised earlier this year when we found out we were pregnant with twins. Our current home daycare may not be able to take the twins when they get here. So I've been doing some research on some centers in the area. The cost of 3 in a center will be close to $2400 a month. Ahhhh! The Coast Guard has a subsidy program that we should be able to apply for so that may help a little. But, OMG.

Please give me some advice on how to make this work? I know if we cut back on things we'll be good, but the addition of twins and the tripling of daycare costs is pretty scary.

TIA!

Re: Worried about daycare costs next year.

  • maple2maple2 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    If you are comfortable with it, you might actually save money by hiring a nanny instead of using a center.  At least here, the cost of a nanny does not increase with additional children at the same rate as a daycare center, so nannys become more affordable the more children you have.  I don't know the rules for the Coast Guard subsidy program, but DH's former employer had one that could be used to pay for in-home care providers as long as you were aboveboard with taxes.

    If it makes you feel any better at all, it would cost us $2,000/month to have 2 kids in full time daycare, and they aren't even in the higher priced infant rooms anymore.  Yay for HCOL.
  • EEEK!  That's more than a house payment.  Maybe you can find an in home daycare that will take twins or a nanny like PP said.  It also may be better financially if you didn't work??
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Like PP we are talking about #2, and to have 2 in DC in our area would be $1900.00! Good luck.
    photo 120812_44341.jpg
  • If the cost of care for three kids is more expensive than one of you makes in a monthly income, then the prudent financial move is to have one of you stay home.

     

    Making up numbers...If you make $2k monthly and daycare costs $2,400 then you are losing money. You will slowly sink behind unless the other income is...like...huge.

  • We both make more than that a month. I make less than DH but that is because I put 16% in my 401k a month.
  • Well I wouldn't cut back on your retirement unless it's 100% necessary.  Your ticker says your older child is closing in on 3 1/2... so she will be school-aged soon.  I know that's not comforting for the short-term, but if you need to make some cuts they hopefully won't last terribly long (I'm assuming you can use public schools in your area).  If you're really looking at 12-18 months of these expenses, try cutting out on your small luxuries.  If you have significant (not moderate, but significant) savings, you could also supplement your income with a small allocation from your savings each month if necessary until your older daughter reaches school-age.

    You both really need to be saving at least 15% across all your retirement accounts each year... unfortunately these savings are vastly more valuable while you are young - the time in your life when you really need that money - than when you are old.  So try your best not to scale your contributions back.

    I would ditto the idea of looking into hiring a nanny.  It would likely cost less than that per month, or if not less, probably comparable, with some added conveniences (see the recent nanny thread on that).

    I also would suggest seeing if one of your employers offers a dependent care cafeteria plan.  These work like a 401(k) where you can make pre-tax contributions (I think the yearly limit is $5,000... not sure if that is per dependent or total).  They are also tax deductible, so they offer some savings.  Obviously it won't cover everything, but every little bit helps.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Also, could your older daughter not stay where she is if it's less?  Or do all three need to be going to the same place?  Could you drop your daughter and one twin at the in-home care and your husband drop the other twin at another daycare?  Obviously not ideal, but if the in-home care is your least expensive option, I would want to use them as much as possible.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Definitely look into a nanny. Depending on where you live you could probably get a nanny for around 2k a month, and then you wouldn't be driving the kids places, because she would come to you. You do have to work around the nanny's sick/vacation schedule more than a center, but for 3 kids, it would probably be worth it. Also, she'd stay home with your kids while they were sick, where as at a center, you'd be home with them losing sick days.
    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have to agree with others, I would look into local nanny agencies and check out the prices. You can set up a schedule for things you want done with the kids each day, just like a day care. A nanny can still take the kids to play groups as they get older or to events at the library or park for social interaction with other kids.

    The other option is for one of you to take a break for a while & stay at home with your kids. The big thing is you have to figure out financially what will work out best for you, daycare, nanny, or staying at home.  Or one other option is, can one of you change your shift that your work. For example, can you work during the day & then your husband go to a night shift. Granted that would be very hard for you not to see each other much, but it would save on child care

  • I am all about saving and think that I am a big saver myself, but we have two kids in daycare and cut our 401(k)s down to the minimums that the employer would still match. Once daycare's over we will definitely up it, the 16% is a bit high in my opinion, since you can quickly increase your take-home pay by dropping down your retirement.
  • Thanks for the advice ladies. After speaking to DDs daycare again this morning she confirmed that she can't take the twins. So we are looking at centers nearby. We are going to tour one next week that has the availability we need.

    We wouldn't be able to work separate shifts since DH is military and my work doesn't offer that. But it was a good idea. I think after crunching some numbers, we've talked ourselves of the ledge and are ready for what the next few years bring.

  • Ah didn't realize your H was military, OP.  Hopefully that new daycare center would work.

    And please, please, please - do yourself and your children a favor and don't cut your retirement if you can help it at all.  I know this will probably irritate/offend some people, but I have to say it:  I really think the best thing a parent can do for their children is arrange their life so that they are not a burden on their children in old age.  

    I think I've said this before, but in case I haven't:

    My H's parents are very generous people.  They decided they wanted to give their kids the best: private school, an upper-middle class lifestyle, all the extracurriculars those kids could handle, etc.  In other words, they didn't tell their children no.  They always intended to put more into savings, but inevitably the expenses with the kids would just get in the way, and they figured they could put off retirement and just increase their savings next year.  Well, when "next year" rolled around, they found that tuition had gone up or my H needed a new baseball bat.  So those things had to come first.

    Well fast forward 25 years, and they don't have nearly enough in retirement.  It's alarming, actually.  We suspect that they will be calling us for help sooner rather than later.

    Let me be clear: I don't think that it's bad to try to give your kids the best.  It's very admirable and generous.  But when you scale back retirement you have be certain it's for a very limited period of time and that it becomes the #1 priority the moment circumstances change - it has to be a higher priority than buying your kids clothes at Baby Gap or giving your kids piano lessons - because without it, your children will be supporting not just themselves, but you too.  I know that H's parents don't want to do that to us because they are very generous people - but they might not have a choice.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards