Getting Pregnant
R.Wilsonny
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Help me help myself....errrr....or help my H rather
Totally unrelated to GP, but I figured I'd post this here to get a different perspective since there's a different group of ladies posting in this area of the boards than most of the others. To those who have either pushy family members or pushy inlaws, how do you handle them?
The situation is this - my H & I went on a 'family vacation' with his parents, as well as my BIL & SIL early last month. We stayed in the vacation apartment of a family friend at our destination, which saved us quite a bit of money since we didn't have to pay for a hotel. Greatly appreciated by us on our end, but now my IL's have been insisting that we go to this friend's house personally to thank them. Although I think sending a personal thank you card would be sufficient enough, I have absolutely no problems in doing this because their friend and his family are very nice people and we enjoy their company. That said, since we've been back from our trip, our schedules have been very full so at this point, I´m really thinking that it is just better for us to send a thank you card and call it a day rather than wait until we have a free weekend - my H & I dj are are always out on the weekends at events, so we really do not have much free time for anything else. We work during the week and don't even get home until after 7, so the weekends are really the only semi-free time that we have. My IL's have constantly been hounding us to do this though, which brings me to this weekend. My BIL asked us 2 weeks ago whether or not we could do the 20th and I specifically told him NO, because we had an event we were djing today. I not only told him no twice, but my H told him as well, which led to my MIL & FIL both calling my H and insisting the 20th, which my H has told them no. Then middle of this past week, I get another email (which I know my H got too), saying the 20th - this after we both told my BIL, MIL, and FIL no.
Which brings me to today. My BIL has been blowing up my phone all afternoon and at this point, I refuse to pick it up. My H told me not to pick it up and he is not answering his phone either. I just don't know how much more clearly I, or rather he, can make it that we are busy. They are super pushy - no matter how many times we tell them no, they still don't get it. And this happens quite a bit with various other situations too. I´m just trying to figure out if there is some other approach that we can do so they can just stop the madness already. It's going to become even more difficult once we have a child, but I´ve decided we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it.
Am I/are we being unreasonable here? What would you guys do in this situation?
The situation is this - my H & I went on a 'family vacation' with his parents, as well as my BIL & SIL early last month. We stayed in the vacation apartment of a family friend at our destination, which saved us quite a bit of money since we didn't have to pay for a hotel. Greatly appreciated by us on our end, but now my IL's have been insisting that we go to this friend's house personally to thank them. Although I think sending a personal thank you card would be sufficient enough, I have absolutely no problems in doing this because their friend and his family are very nice people and we enjoy their company. That said, since we've been back from our trip, our schedules have been very full so at this point, I´m really thinking that it is just better for us to send a thank you card and call it a day rather than wait until we have a free weekend - my H & I dj are are always out on the weekends at events, so we really do not have much free time for anything else. We work during the week and don't even get home until after 7, so the weekends are really the only semi-free time that we have. My IL's have constantly been hounding us to do this though, which brings me to this weekend. My BIL asked us 2 weeks ago whether or not we could do the 20th and I specifically told him NO, because we had an event we were djing today. I not only told him no twice, but my H told him as well, which led to my MIL & FIL both calling my H and insisting the 20th, which my H has told them no. Then middle of this past week, I get another email (which I know my H got too), saying the 20th - this after we both told my BIL, MIL, and FIL no.
Which brings me to today. My BIL has been blowing up my phone all afternoon and at this point, I refuse to pick it up. My H told me not to pick it up and he is not answering his phone either. I just don't know how much more clearly I, or rather he, can make it that we are busy. They are super pushy - no matter how many times we tell them no, they still don't get it. And this happens quite a bit with various other situations too. I´m just trying to figure out if there is some other approach that we can do so they can just stop the madness already. It's going to become even more difficult once we have a child, but I´ve decided we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it.
Am I/are we being unreasonable here? What would you guys do in this situation?
Re: Help me help myself....errrr....or help my H rather
FWIW, I would not be thrilled if people came to my house unannounced to thank us for something. I love guests... Hate when they're unexpected.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
I agree with ILRV!
Cinnabun and Junebug say, "Go Wildcats!"
I'm pretty much used to this considering we've been together for 10 years, so this is nothing new, but it doesn't make any less annoying. The only time we've really had any sense of peace from this nonsense was when we lived in Spain, because they were not around to constantly badger us. Maybe this is the solution - move back to EU so we can be left alone :P lol
Anywhooooo....I´m just going to do what I initially thought we should do from the beginning, which is send a nicely written personal thank you note.
TTC#2 4/14
A Parachute in an Oak Tree: A World of Love
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TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermWhat sucks even more is the fact that we had a very nice meeting with the owner of this big label that my H released on the day before and he was in such a good mood from that, only to have that mood dampened by his family. I felt bad for my H because he's a very easy going person and it takes a lot for him to get upset but the constant harassment set him over the edge
Thank you note is going in the mail today
They live 20 minutes away, so close, but not like right next door close. Funny because when we were looking to buy a house, every single time we would go to theirs, I would get handed real estate magazines with 'suitable' housing that we should look at - all 1-2 bedroom co-ops literally right around the corner. (no thanks) They've made comments that we don't live close enough though.
His brother and brother's wife pretty much yes the IL's to death but I stay out of that one because for me, that's not my business if that's the relationship they choose to have. That and the fact that the 2 of them are equally as pushy. I mean, my BIL was blowing up my phone yesterday but I refused to pick it up because I wanted my H to deal with it since I already told BIL multiple times that we were busy.
But yea, this happens a lot with them and I've tried all different approaches and I guess the only thing that really seems to work is to just not pick up the phone at this point. I hate doing that though because I feel like I'm being rude, but they are being equally rude by not taking the word no for an answer....
Katie, Jesse, and Breanna
We're getting married: March 1, 2014
Yea, mine are nice people and all, but just way too pushy for me. I always try to remind myself that it could always be worse and I could have what my mother has for IL's because hers are really crazy. My mother wants nothing to do with hers. I don't mind seeing my IL's at least, but when we say no to something, I just wish they would realize that our answer is not going to change after the 20th time they ask us about the same thing. Silly people. lol
Oh, and ps - my MIL is the only person I know with a huge painting of herself (just herself) hanging in the living room. Not even kidding.
20 minutes is plenty close. THat would frustrate the crap out of me. Its like, leave us alone! Ya, sad to say, I think the only thing to do is ignore the calls. If their own son tells them you are busy they should respect that!
Oh and lol, I actually know someone who has a huge wedding pic, of her, over her fireplace! LOL that's just funny
But sorry you gotta deal with this crap.
Oh yea, and the painting thing is funny to me. We have a big photo on canvas hanging over our fireplace but it is of my H and I from our wedding day. I think that's okay, but a painting of yourself poised like the family matriarch is just ummm funny? Weird? Narcissist? I took a pic of it at one point during the wedding planning and texted it to my MOH...we had a good laugh and I'm pretty sure I secured my place in hell for that one.
Ya it sure is. Let the H deal with it. Being the DIL, you don't need to be the one dealing with them. Just like you would handle your own parents. Sucks though, vent here about it all you want!
Omg, hers is from her wedding day, and its just HUGE!!!! I mean, I would be down for a big one of US, but of just me, No thanks! I would just feel weird, knowing that everyone who walked into my house saw just that... Kind of odd to me. I mean, why wouldn't she put one up of her only daughter??? That would make a whole lot more sense to me. Ha ha o man, people are funny!!!! At least we can laugh about it...